Okuqukethwe
Konke kuhlale kumnandi ngabo, bagcwele amandla nemibono, bayancokola, bayahleka. Ngaphandle kwabo, kuyisicefe enkampanini, bakulungele ukusiza enkingeni. Bayathandwa futhi baziswa. Babonakala bengabantu abajabule kakhulu emhlabeni. Kodwa lokhu kubonakala nje. Ukudabuka, ubuhlungu, ukwesaba nokukhathazeka kufihliwe ngemuva kwesifihla-buso sokujabula. Yini engalungile ngabo? Futhi ungabasiza kanjani?
Kunzima ukukholelwa, kodwa abantu abaningi babonakala bejabule kuphela, kodwa empeleni, nsuku zonke balwa nemicabango ecindezelayo. Ngokuvamile abantu abaphethwe ukucindezeleka kubonakala ngathi badangele, bakhathele, bengenandaba nayo yonke into. Kodwa eqinisweni, ngokocwaningo olwenziwa yi-US National Institute of Mental Health, izakhamuzi ezingaphezu kuka-10% zihlushwa ukucindezeleka, okuyinani eliphindwe ka-10 lalabo abaphethwe yi-bipolar disorder noma i-schizophrenia.
Futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo, wonke umuntu ubhekana nokucindezeleka ngendlela yakhe. Abanye abazi nokuthi banalesi sifo, ikakhulukazi uma bekholelwa ukuthi bayakwazi ukulawula ukuphila kwabo kwansuku zonke. Kubonakala kungenakwenzeka ukuthi umuntu angamamatheka, ancokole, asebenze futhi aqhubeke ecindezelekile. Kodwa, ngeshwa, lokhu kwenzeka kaningi.
Kuyini "smiling" ukucindezeleka
"Ezimweni zami, iningi lalabo okwatholakala ukuthi "ukucindezeleka" kwaba ukushaqeka bahlushwa ukucindezeleka "okumomotheka". Abanye abakaze bezwe ngakho, ”kusho isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uRita Labon. Umuntu onalesi sifo ubonakala ejabule kwabanye, ehlala ehleka futhi emamatheka, kodwa eqinisweni uzwa ukudabuka okujulile.
"Ukumomotheka" ukucindezeleka ngokuvamile akunakwa. Bazama ukukuziba, baqhube izimpawu ngokujulile ngangokunokwenzeka. Iziguli azazi ngesifo sazo, noma zikhetha ukungakunaki ngenxa yokwesaba ukuthathwa njengobuthakathaka.
Ukumomotheka kanye “ne-facade” ecwebezelayo kuyizindlela zokuzivikela zokufihla imizwa yangempela. Umuntu ulangazelela ukuhlukana nomlingani wakhe, ubunzima emsebenzini, noma ukuntula imigomo ekuphileni. Futhi ngezinye izikhathi uvele ezwe ukuthi kukhona okungahambi kahle - kodwa akazi ukuthi yini ngempela.
Futhi, lolu hlobo lokucindezeleka luhambisana nokukhathazeka, ukwesaba, intukuthelo, ukukhathala okungapheli, umuzwa wokuphelelwa ithemba nokudumazeka kuwe nasempilweni. Kungase kube nezinkinga zokulala, ukuntula injabulo kulokho owawukuthanda, ukuncipha kwesifiso socansi.
Wonke umuntu unezimpawu zakhe, futhi ukucindezeleka kungazibonakalisa njengokukodwa noma konke ngesikhathi esisodwa.
“Abantu abahlushwa ukucindezeleka “okumomothekayo” babonakala begqoke imaski. Bangase bangabonisi abanye ukuthi baphatheke kabi, - kusho uRita Labon. - Basebenza isikhathi esigcwele, benza imisebenzi yasendlini, ezemidlalo, baphila impilo yokuzijabulisa. Ukucasha ngemaski, bakhombisa ukuthi konke kuhamba kahle, ngisho kuhle kakhulu. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, babhekana nokudabuka, babhekana nokuhlaselwa kokwesaba, abazethembi ngokwabo, futhi ngezinye izikhathi bacabanga ngokuzibulala.
Ukuzibulala kuyingozi ngempela kubantu abanjalo. Imvamisa, abantu abaphethwe ukucindezeleka kwakudala bangaphinde bacabange ngokuzibulala, kodwa abanawo amandla anele okwenza imicabango ibe ngokoqobo. Labo abahlushwa “smiling” depression banomdlandla ngokwanele ukuhlela nokuzibulala. Ngakho-ke, lolu hlobo lokucindezeleka lungaba yingozi nakakhulu kunenguqulo yalo yakudala.
Ukucindezeleka “okumomothekayo” kungelapheka futhi kufanele
Nokho, kunezindaba ezinhle kulabo abaphethwe yilesi sifo - usizo lutholakala kalula. I-Psychotherapy ibhekana ngokuphumelelayo nokucindezeleka. Uma usola ukuthi othandekayo wakho noma umngane wakho oseduze uhlushwa "smiling" depression, angase akuphike noma asabele kabi lapho uqala ukuveza isimo sakhe.
Lokhu kuhle. Ngokuvamile abantu abavumi ukugula kwabo, futhi igama elithi "ukucindezeleka" lizwakala lisongela kubo. Khumbula ukuthi, ngokombono wabo, ukucela usizo kuwuphawu lobuthakathaka. Bakholelwa ukuthi abantu abagulayo ngempela kuphela abadinga ukwelashwa.
Ngaphezu kokwelashwa, kusiza kakhulu ukwabelana ngenkinga yakho nabantu obathandayo.
Kungcono ukukhetha ilungu lomndeni eliseduze kakhulu, umngane noma umuntu ongamethemba ngokuphelele. Ukuxoxisana njalo ngenkinga kunganciphisa izimpawu zokubonakaliswa kwesifo. Kubalulekile ukuqeda umqondo wokuthi ungumthwalo. Ngezinye izikhathi siyakhohlwa ukuthi abathandekayo bethu nabangane bayokujabulela ukusisekela njengoba nje besiyobasekela. Ithuba lokwabelana ngemizwa linikeza amandla okuqeda imicabango ecindezelayo.
Uma uqhubeka nokuphika ukuxilongwa futhi ugwema inkinga, kuzoba nzima kakhulu ukwelapha lesi sifo. Uma imicabango nemizwa ecindezelayo ingakhulunywa, ingalashwa, iba yimbi nakakhulu, yingakho kubaluleke kakhulu ukufuna usizo ngesikhathi.
Izinyathelo Ezi-4 Zokulawula Ukudangala Okumomothekayo
ULaura Coward, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo nelungu le-National Alliance on Mental Illness, uthi ekucindezelekeni “okumomothekayo,” umuntu ubonakala ejabule kakhulu ngokuphila, kodwa uyamamatheka phakathi nobuhlungu.
Ngokuvamile, iziguli ezinalesi sifo zibuza isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo, “Nginakho konke ongase ukufune. Pho kungani ngingajabule?" Ucwaningo lwakamuva lwabesifazane abangu-2000 luveze ukuthi u-89% wabo uhlushwa wukhwantalala kodwa ukufihlela abangani, umndeni nozakwabo. Okubalulekile, bonke laba besifazane baphila impilo ngokugcwele.
Yini ongayenza uma unezimpawu zokudangala "okumomotheka"?
1. Vuma ukuthi uyagula
Umsebenzi onzima kulabo abaphethwe «smiling» ukucindezeleka. “Bavame ukubukela phansi imizwa yabo, bayicindezele ngaphakathi. Banovalo lokuthi bazothathwa njengababuthaka uma bethola lesi sifo,” kusho uRita Labon. Kodwa imizwa eqhubekayo yokudabuka, isizungu, ukuphelelwa ithemba, ngisho nokukhathazeka kuyizimpawu zokucindezeleka ngokomzwelo, hhayi ubuthakathaka. Imizwa yakho ijwayelekile, iwuphawu lokuthi kukhona okungahambi kahle, kudingeka usizo nokuxhumana.
2. Khuluma nabantu obathembayo
Inkinga enkulu kulabo ababhekene nalolu hlobo lokucindezeleka ukuthi bazama ukufihla izimpawu kwabanye. Ubuhlungu kodwa usaba ukuthi abangani nomndeni ngeke bayiqonde imizwa yakho, bazophatheka kabi badideke ngoba bengazi ukuthi benzeni. Noma unesiqiniseko sokuthi akekho ongakusiza.
Yebo, abanye ngeke bakwazi “ukuyisusa” imizwa yakho engemihle, kodwa kubalulekile ukuyibeka ngamazwi, ukhulume nothile omethembayo, ozizwa ukhululekile kuye. Lesi yisinyathelo esikhulu sokululama. Yingakho, sikhuluma ngezinkinga nge-psychotherapist, sizizwa singcono.
“Okokuqala udinga ukukhetha umuntu oyedwa: umngane, isihlobo, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo – futhi umtshele ngemizwa yakho,” kweluleka uRita Labon. Chaza ukuthi ngokujwayelekile konke kuhamba kahle empilweni yakho, kodwa awuzizwa ujabule ngendlela obukeka ngayo. Mkhumbuze nawe ukuthi awuceli ukususa izinkinga ngokuphazima kweso. Ubheka nje ukuthi ukuxoxa ngesimo sakho kuzokusiza yini."
Uma ungajwayele ukuxoxa ngemizwa yakho, ungase uzizwe ukhathazekile, ungakhululeki, ucindezeleke.
Kodwa zinike isikhathi sakho kanye nesithandwa sakho, futhi uzomangala ukuthi umphumela wengxoxo elula ungaba ophumelelayo futhi ohlala njalo.
3. Nakekela ukuzethemba kwakho
Ngezinye izikhathi ukungabaza okuncane kuvamile, kodwa hhayi lapho yonke into isivele iyimbi kakhulu. Ezikhathini ezinjalo, “siqeda” ukuzethemba kwethu. Phakathi naleso sikhathi, ukuzethemba kufana nesimiso somzimba sokuzivikela ezifweni, kuyasiza ukubhekana nezinkinga, kodwa futhi kudinga ukuqiniswa nokugcinwa.
Enye indlela yokwenza lokhu iwukuba uzibhalele incwadi, futhi kuyo, uzidabukele, usekele futhi ujabule ngendlela obungasekela ngayo umngane wakho. Ngakho-ke, uzosebenzisa ukuzisekela, ukuzihawukela, okushodayo kakhulu kulabo abahlushwa ukucindezeleka "okumomotheka".
4. Uma umngane wakho ehlupheka, myeke akhulume, alalele.
Kwesinye isikhathi ubuhlungu bomunye umuntu bulukhuni ukubuthwala kunobakho, kodwa usengasiza uma ulalela omunye. Khumbula - akunakwenzeka ukususa imizwa nemizwa engemihle. Ungazami ukududuza futhi ulungise konke, vele ukwenze kucace ukuthi uyamthanda othandekayo wakho, noma ngabe akaphelele ngendlela afuna ukuba ngayo. Avele akhulume.
Ukulalela ngentshiseko kusho ukukhombisa ukuthi uyezwa ngempela futhi uyakuqonda okushiwoyo.
Yisho ukuthi uyazwelana, buza ukuthi yini engenziwa. Uma ngemva kokukhuluma nawe kubonakala sengathi udinga ukwenza okuthile, qala ngokuxoxa ngakho nothandekayo ophethwe ukucindezeleka. Veza uzwela, chaza ngokuningiliziwe lokho ohlela ukukwenza nokuthi kungani, futhi ulalelisise impendulo.
Uma kuziwa osizweni oluchwepheshile, yabelana ngolwazi oluhle kwezokwelapha, uma unalo, noma umane ujabule. Ngokuvamile abangani beza nesiguli noma iziguli beza ngokutuswa ngabangane, bese behlangana ukuze bahambe noma bayophuza inkomishi yekhofi ngokushesha ngemva kokwelashwa.
Angeke kudingeke ukuthi ulinde ngemva kweseshini noma uxoxe ngomphumela wengxoxo nodokotela wezengqondo. Ukuze uqalise, vele usekele umngane - lokho kuzokwanela.