Izizathu Ezingu-5 Esingakhulumi Ngodlame

Bambalwa kithi abangakaze bawabone amandla abhubhisayo okuxhashazwa. Futhi akukhona nje ngokujeziswa ngokomzimba noma ukuhlukunyezwa ngokocansi. Ubuxhwanguxhwangu, ukuhlukunyezwa, ukunganakwa kwezidingo zethu ebuntwaneni kanye nokuxhaphaza ngandlela thile kubhekwa "amakhanda" ahlukene ale hydra.

Abantu esingabazi abasilimazi ngaso sonke isikhathi: singahlupheka ngenxa yezenzo zabantu abaseduze nabajwayelene kakhulu - abazali, abalingani, abafowethu nodadewethu, esifunda nabo ekilasini, othisha nozakwethu, abaphathi nomakhelwane.

Lapho isimo sishuba kakhulu futhi singenawo amandla okuthula noma ukufihla imiphumela emibi yokuxhashazwa, izikhulu zomthetho nabantu esibaziyo babuza lo mbuzo: “Kodwa kungani ungakhulumanga ngalokhu ngaphambili?” Noma bahleke: “Ukube yonke into ibikubi kangaka, ubungeke uthule ngakho isikhathi eside kangaka.” Sivame ukuba ofakazi bokusabela okunjalo ngisho nasezingeni lomphakathi. Futhi akuvamile ukuba kwenzeke ukuphendula into eqondakalayo. Sincamela ukuzwa okwenzeka ngendlela yakudala - sodwa nathi.

Kungani abantu befihla iqiniso lokuthi kukhona okubi okwenzeka kubo? Umqeqeshi nombhali uDarius Cekanavičius ukhuluma ngezizathu ezinhlanu zokuthi kungani sithula mayelana nesipiliyoni sodlame (futhi ngezinye izikhathi singazivumi nokuthi sihlangabezane nento embi kakhulu).

1. Ukujwayela kodlame

Ngokuvamile, lokho okubonisa ukuthi ubudlova bangempela abubhekwa njengabo. Isibonelo, uma emphakathini wethu iminyaka eminingi kwakubhekwa njengento evamile ukushaya izingane, khona-ke ukujeziswa ngokomzimba kwabaningi kuhlala kuyinto evamile. Singathini ngezinye, amacala angabonakali: angachazwa ngezindlela ezingamakhulu ahlukene, uma ufuna ngempela ukuthola "i-wrapper enhle" yobudlova noma umane uvale amehlo akho eqinisweni layo.

Ukunganakwa, kuvela, into okufanele iqinise isimilo. Ukuxhashazwa kungabizwa ngokuthi ihlaya elingenangozi. Ukukhohlisa ulwazi nokusabalalisa amahemuhemu kuyafaneleka njengokuthi: «Ukhuluma iqiniso nje!»

Ngakho-ke, okuhlangenwe nakho kwabantu ababika ukuthi babhekane nokuhlukunyezwa ngokuvamile akubhekwa njengento ehlukumezayo, kuchaza uDarius Cekanavičius. Futhi amacala okuhlukunyezwa avezwa ngendlela “evamile,” futhi lokhu kwenza isisulu sizizwe sibi nakakhulu.

2. Ukubukela phansi indima yodlame

Leli phuzu lihlobene eduze nedlule - ngaphandle kwe-nuance encane. Ake sithi lowo esimtshela ukuthi siyahlukunyezwa avume ukuthi lokho kuyiqiniso. Nokho, ayenzi lutho ukusiza. Okusho ukuthi, uvumelana nathi, kodwa hhayi impela - akwanele ukwenza.

Izingane zivame ukubhekana nalesi simo: zikhuluma ngokuxhashazwa esikoleni, abazali bazo bayazwelana nazo, kodwa abahambi ukuxhumana nothisha futhi abadluliseli ingane kwelinye ikilasi. Ngenxa yalokho, ingane ibuyela endaweni efanayo enobuthi futhi ayibi ngcono.

3.Amahloni

Izisulu zodlame zivame ukuzibeka icala ngalokho okwenzeka kuzo. Bazibophezela ngezenzo zomhlukumezi futhi bakholelwa ukuthi bona ngokwabo kufanele: “Kwakungamelwe ucele imali kumama wakho lapho ekhathele”, “Bekufanele uvumelane nakho konke akushoyo ngesikhathi edakiwe.”

Izisulu zokuhlukunyezwa ngokocansi zinomuzwa wokuthi azisakufanelekeli ukuthandwa nokuzwelana, futhi isiko lapho ukusola isisulu kuwukusabela okuvamile ezindabeni ezinjalo kuyabasekela kulokhu. “Abantu banamahloni ngesipiliyoni sabo, ikakhulukazi uma bazi ukuthi umphakathi ujwayele ukwenza udlame lube yinto ejwayelekile,” kukhala uCekanavichus.

4. Ukwesaba

Kwesinye isikhathi kuyethusa kakhulu kulabo abahlukunyeziwe ukukhuluma ngokuhlangenwe nakho kwabo, ikakhulukazi ezinganeni. Ingane ayazi ukuthi kuzokwenzekani uma ikhuluma ngalokho ehlangabezane nakho. Ingabe bazomthethisa? Noma mhlawumbe baze bajeziswe? Kuthiwani uma umuntu omphatha kabi elimaza abazali bakhe?

Futhi akulula kubantu abadala ukuthi bathi umphathi wabo noma uzakwabo uyabahlukumeza, umqeqeshi uqinisekile. Ngisho noma sinobufakazi - amarekhodi, ubufakazi bezinye izisulu - kungenzeka ukuthi uzakwabo noma umphathi uzohlala endaweni yakhe, futhi kuzodingeka ukhokhe ngokugcwele "ukulahlwa".

Ngokuvamile lokhu kwesaba kuthatha izinhlobo eziyihaba, kodwa kumuntu ohlukunyezwayo kuyiqiniso futhi kuyaqondakala.

5. Ukukhaphela nokuzihlukanisa

Izisulu zokuhlukunyezwa azikhulumi ngezinto ezidlule kuzo futhi ngenxa yokuthi ngokuvamile azinaye umuntu ongazilalela futhi azisekele. Bangancika kubahlukumezi babo futhi ngokuvamile bazithola bebodwa ngokuphelele. Futhi uma besanquma ukukhuluma, kodwa behlekwa usulu noma bengathathwa ngokungathi sína, khona-ke, sebehlupheke ngokwanele kakade, bazizwa bekhashelwe ngokuphelele.

Ngaphezu kwalokho, lokhu kwenzeka ngisho nalapho sifuna usizo kuma-ejensi zomthetho noma izinsizakalo zezenhlalakahle, okumele zisinakekele.

Ungalimali

Udlame lugqoka izifihla-buso ezihlukene. Futhi umuntu wanoma ibuphi ubulili neminyaka angaba isisulu sokuphathwa kabi. Nokho, kukangaki lapho sifunda elinye icala eliyihlazo lokunukubezwa uthisha womfana oweve eshumini nambili, sikushalazele noma sithi lokhu “kuyisenzakalo esiwusizo”? Kunabantu abakholelwa ngokuqinile ukuthi indoda ayikwazi ukukhononda ngokuhlukunyezwa kowesifazane. Noma ukuthi owesifazane angeke ahlukunyezwe ngokocansi uma umhlukumezi engumyeni wakhe...

Futhi lokhu kukhulisa isifiso sezisulu sokuthula, ukufihla ukuhlupheka kwabo.

Siphila emphakathini obekezelela udlame ngokwedlulele. Ziningi izizathu zalokhu, kodwa ngamunye wethu angaba ngumuntu okungenani ozolalela ngokucophelela lowo ozile ukuzosekela. Labo abangeke bathethelele umdlwenguli (“Hhayi-ke, akahlali enjalo!”) Nokuziphatha kwakhe (“Ngisanda kumshaya ngempama, hhayi ngebhande …”). Labo abangeke baqhathanise isipiliyoni sabo nesipiliyoni somunye («Bavele bahlekise ngawe, kodwa bacwilisa ikhanda lami endishini yangasese…»).

Kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuthi ukuhlukumezeka akuyona into "engalinganiswa" nabanye. Noma yiluphi udlame luwudlame, njenganoma yikuphi ukuhlukumezeka kuwukuhlukumezeka, kukhumbuza uDarius Cekanavichus.

Ngamunye wethu ufanelwe ubulungisa nempatho enhle, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi iyiphi indlela okwakufanele ahambe kuyo.