Ukuziphatha kwethu njengabantu abadala kuthonywa kakhulu ukuhlukumezeka kwasebuntwaneni kanye nokuhlangenwe nakho kobudlelwane ebuntwaneni. Akukho okungashintshwa? Kuvele ukuthi konke kunethemba elikhulu.
Kunefomula enhle, umbhali wayo ongaziwa: "Umlingiswa yilokho okwakuvame ukuba sebudlelwaneni." Okunye okutholwe u-Sigmund Freud ukuthi ukuhlukumezeka kwangaphambi kwesikhathi kudala izindawo zokungezwani kwengqondo yethu, kamuva okuchaza isimo sempilo yokuqaphela.
Lokhu kusho ukuthi ebudaleni sizithola sisebenzisa indlela engazange imiswe yithi, kodwa ngabanye. Kodwa awukwazi ukuwubhala kabusha umlando wakho, awukwazi ukuzikhethela obunye ubudlelwano.
Ingabe lokhu kusho ukuthi yonke into inqunywa kusengaphambili futhi singakhuthazela ngaphandle kokuzama ukulungisa noma yini? UFreud ngokwakhe waphendula lo mbuzo ngokwethula umqondo wokuphoqelela ukuphindaphinda ku-psychoanalysis.
Kafushane, ingqikithi yayo imi kanje: ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukuziphatha kwethu kwamanje kuvame ukubukeka njengokuphindaphinda ukunyakaza okuthile kwangaphambilini (lokhu kuyincazelo ye-neurosis). Ngakolunye uhlangothi, lokhu kuphindaphinda kuphakama ukuze sikwazi ukulungisa okuthile okwamanje: okungukuthi, indlela yokuguqula yakhelwe esakhiweni se-neurosis. Sobabili sincike esikhathini esedlule futhi sinensiza okwamanje yokukulungisa.
Sivame ukungena ezimeni eziphindaphindayo, silingise ubudlelwano obungazange buphele esikhathini esidlule.
Ingqikithi yokuphindaphinda ivamise ukuvela ezindabeni zamaklayenti: ngezinye izikhathi njengesipiliyoni sokuphelelwa ithemba nokungabi namandla, ngezinye izikhathi njengenhloso yokuzikhulula ekuzibophezeleni ngempilo yomuntu. Kodwa kaningi kunalokho, umzamo wokuqonda ukuthi kungenzeka yini ukuqeda umthwalo wesikhathi esidlule kuholela embuzweni walokho iklayenti lenzani ukuze lihudule lo mthwalo ngokuqhubekayo, ngezinye izikhathi ngisho nokwandisa ubukhulu bayo.
Lapho kuboniswana uLarisa oneminyaka engu-29 uthi: “Ngijwayelana kalula, ngingumuntu okhululekile. Kodwa izibopho eziqinile azisebenzi: amadoda asheshe anyamalale ngaphandle kwencazelo.
Kwenzakalani? Sithola ukuthi uLarisa akaqapheli izici ezingavamile zokuziphatha kwakhe - lapho umlingani ephendula ekuvulekeni kwakhe, unqotshwa ukukhathazeka, kubonakala kuye ukuthi usengozini. Khona-ke uqala ukuziphatha ngobudlova, ezivikela engozini ecatshangelwayo, futhi ngaleyo ndlela axoshe umuntu ojwayelene naye. Akazi ukuthi uhlasela into eyigugu kuye.
Ukuba sengozini kwakho kukuvumela ukuthi ubone ubungozi bomunye, okusho ukuthi ungaqhubekela phambili kancane useduze
Sivame ukungena ezimeni eziphindaphindayo, silingise ubudlelwano obungazange buphele esikhathini esidlule. Ngemuva kokuziphatha kukaLarisa ukuhlukumezeka kwasebuntwaneni: isidingo sokunamathiselwe okuvikelekile kanye nokungakwazi ukukuthola. Lesi simo singaqedwa kanjani esikhathini samanje?
Phakathi nomsebenzi wethu, uLarisa uqala ukuqonda ukuthi isenzakalo esisodwa esifanayo singabhekana nemizwa ehlukene. Ngaphambili, kuye kwakubonakala sengathi ukusondela kwenye kwakusho ubungozi, kodwa manje uthola kulokhu ukuthi kungenzeka inkululeko enkulu ezenzweni nasezizweni.
Ukuba sengozini kwakho kukuvumela ukuthi uthole ubungozi bomunye, futhi lokhu kuncikelana kukuvumela ukuthi uqhubekele phambili kancane ekusondelaneni - ozakwethu, njengezandla eziqoshiwe ezidumile zika-Escher, badonsana ngokunakekela nangokubonga ngenqubo. Okuhlangenwe nakho kwakhe kuba kwehlukile, akusaphindi okwedlule.
Ukuqeda umthwalo wesikhathi esidlule, kuyadingeka ukuqala kabusha futhi ubone ukuthi incazelo yalokho okwenzekayo ayikho ezintweni nezimo ezisizungezile - kithi ngokwethu. I-Psychotherapy ayishintshi ikhalenda elidlule, kodwa ivumela ukuthi ibhalwe kabusha ezingeni lezincazelo.