Okuqukethwe
Umngane ocabangayo, umngane ozokhula
Lapho uClémentine ehlala phansi etafuleni, ubeke uLilo isihlalo. Isihlalo sihlala singenalutho? Kuvamile: uClémentine kuphela ongabona uLilo, abantu abadala abakwazi. ULilo ungumngane wakhe amcabango. |
“Lapho ingane eneminyaka emi-4 noma engu-5 ubudala isungula umngane womcabango, ibonisa ikhono lokusungula izinto: ayikhathazi nakancane”, kuqinisekisa u-Andrée Sodjinou, udokotela wezengqondo. Umngane ocatshangelwayo ungumngane iyawusekela ekuthuthukisweni kwawo, i-alter ego ingane engaveza kuyo izinkinga engakwazi ukubhekana nazo iyodwa. Ingane inobuhlobo obukhethekile naye, njengoba engakwazi nodoli wakhe noma i-teddy bear yakhe, ngaphandle kwalokho umngane owumcabango untanga, ngakho-ke angase athi ukwesaba kwakhe siqu, imizwelo yakhe siqu. Umngani lo utshalwe kakhulu ngokomzwelo : akubuzwa ukuthi unenhliziyo embi naye, noma kwesinye isikhathi ekucasula. Kungafana nokuphula into ingane ebambelele kuyo.
Umuntu adlala naye nomethembayo
Thatha isinyathelo emuva. Kuyo yonke imidlalo yakhe, ingane yakho eqondiswa umcabango wakhe. Ingubo yakhe yokulala ayimduduzi yini umngane wangempela? Ungase umkhumbuze ngezikhathi ezithile ukuthi umngane wakhe “akayena ngempela ongokoqobo,” kodwa ungazami ukumkholisa. Kuyinkulumompikiswano eyinyumba. Ingane yale minyaka ayihlukanisi ngokucacile phakathi kwangempela nokucatshangelwayo, futhi noma kunjalo, lo mngcele awunalo nhlobo inani elingokomfanekiso elifana nelakithi abadala. Enganeni, ngisho noma ingekho “yangempela”, ikhona enhliziyweni yayo, endaweni yonke, futhi yilokho okubalulekile.
“Umngane” omsizayo ukuba akhule
Uma ingane yakho ikukhuthaza ukuthi uhlanganyele emdlalweni, landela umzwelo wakho kanye nesifiso sakho. Kungase kujabulise ukuxoxa nalo Lilo, kodwa uma lokho kukukhathaza, yenqaba. Umngane ongokomfanekiso akufanele angabaze imithetho yokuphila komndeni, i Indlela yokuphila wengane. Uma kuba ihlazo, isithiyo, lokho kubangela inkinga. Qala ngokukhuluma ngakho neloulou yakho, ukuze ubone indlela abona ngayo izinto. Kodwa angakunikeza kuphela izizathu ezikhona lapho ingane ingafinyelela khona. U-Andrée Sodjinou uyachaza: “Umngane ongazicabangeli othatha isikhathi esiningi uyafika azokhuluma ngenkinga engenakushiwo, kodwa ethatha indawo enkulu ekuphileni kwengane.
Uma lo mlingani eba umthombo wokungqubuzana, cela iseluleko. Okokuqala, hamba uyobonana nabantu abadala: “Inkinga yengane ngokuvamile ithinta izindawo ezimpunga zabazali,” kukhumbula isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo. Mhlawumbe ungathola okumele kushiwo noma kwenziwe ukuze isimo sibuyele kwesijwayelekile. Umngane ongokomfanekiso ukhona ukusiza ingane ukuba ikhule, hhayi ngokuphambene.