Uchwepheshe wethu ulungiselele uhlu lwemilayezo yomzali esebenza njengesipelingi. Bonke bayesaba, behlisa futhi bacekele phansi ubuntu.
Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo, i-gestalt Therapist, umqeqeshi womsebenzi
“Muva nje bengicabanga ukuthi kuye kwabhalwa amakhulu, uma kungenjalo izinkulungwane zezihloko ezikhuluma ngendlela nokuthi yini okumelwe isho futhi yenziwe ukuze kuthuthukiswe ubuntu enganeni. Kodwa ubani oyidingayo uma ufuna ukuthi uhlale unengane ezolile futhi elalelayo?! Konke okwenzayo nokusho enganeni manje, ngokuhamba kwesikhathi izozenzela. Ngakho ungachithi isikhathi sakho! “
Into yokuqala engifuna ukuyisho ayimayelana nemishwana, kodwa mayelana ukuthula. Lokhu kwanele ukuba ingane yethuke futhi iqale ukwenza okuthile. Okwakho, hhayi ngokwakho. Ngokutshala zonke izinsiza ukuze uthole uthando lwakho futhi. Akukhulunywa ngentuthuko lapha, kodwa wawungekho umsebenzi onjalo.
Ukuqhubeka okunengqondo kuyoba ukwesatshiswa… Ukuhlupheka kwengane kufana nokuphonsa i-Imperius phezu kwayo, iresiphi yokuzithoba okuphelele nokuba namandla onke. Inqubo yokuphonsa isipelingi iyahlukahluka kuye ngeminyaka: uma wesabisa ingane eneminyaka engaba ngu-3 ubudala, yeka izifiso zayo, kamuva nje, uzokwakha umphuphi ongasebenzi. Cishe eminyakeni engu-6 ubudala, uzobona izithelo zokuqala zomsebenzi wakho: ingane izoqala ukuzijezisa, ihlale ekhaya futhi izenze sengathi ayikho. Uze uyidinga.
Izibonelo zemisho:
• “Akekho umuntu oyoba umngane nendoda engcolile kangaka!”
• “Ungalidli uphuthu – kuzomele ubhekane noBaba Yaga / Grey Wolf / Terminator.”
• “Uma ungalali manje, kuzondiza i-Canterville Ghost.”
• “Uma ungalaleli – ngizokuthumela ekhaya lezintandane!”
Ithuluzi lokuphatha elilandelayo amahloni… Kumzali, kufana neshizolo lomqophi: ususa imizwa engadingekile yokuzethemba, ukuzethemba, ukubaluleka kanye nesidingo ngezinjongo zakho.
Ungaba namahloni...
• izenzo (“Ungihlazile phambi kwabo bonke othisha besikole ngokuphula ibhodwe lezimbali”);
• ukubukeka (“Zibheke, ukuthi ufana nobani”);
• amakhono obuhlakani (“Uphinde waletha ideuce? Ingabe ujwayele ukwenza okunye okwengeziwe?!”);
• ingqikithi (“Ingabe kukhona ongakwenza ngokujwayelekile?”).
Bayohlale besiza ihlazo ukuhlolwa… Azokuvumela ukuthi ugcwalise isithombe ku-TK yasekuqaleni. Futhi i-psyche yengane ihlelwe kangangokuthi ngokushesha noma kamuva kuzodingeka ibhale.
Izibonelo zemisho:
• “Awukwazi nokunyathela ngaphandle kwami!”
• “Uthembele!”
• "Umubi!"
• “Ngomlingiswa ofana nowakho, akekho oyokudinga ngaphandle kukamama wakho!”
Uma ufuna ukuqinisa iphuzu langaphambilini - ungangabazi iziqhathaniso, ukwengeza izibonelo ezimpilweni zabantu abamangalisayo emaqinisweni. Ngokwesibonelo, eyakho. Kumele ube wuphawu lwakho konke okuhle enganeni. Futhi-ke nakanjani uzolwela okuthile. Nokho, akunakwenzeka ukufeza okuningi. Kodwa yini umehluko – uhlala eduze kwenganekwane!
Izibonelo zemisho:
• “Nangu-ke sengintanga yakho!”
• “Kodwa sasiphila kanjani phakathi nempi? Futhi nakhu namathoyizi akho! “
Uma uqaphela ngokuzumayo ukuthi ingane isaqala ukuthola okuthile, sebenzisa ngokushesha… Ngayo, uzoqeda ngokuphelele kokubili isifiso sokuqhubeka kanye nekhono lokufeza izimpumelelo ezifanele.
Izibonelo zemisho:
• “Woza ngokushesha, ufana nani njengephoyisa?”
• “Ihora lesibili ubuxazulula lesi sibonelo!”
• “Uzogcina uyitholile nini indawo yokuqala emqhudelwaneni?”
Ingane ayifuni yehlisa isithunzi wena kanye nemizamo yakho? Futhi-ke kungani umdinga? Kufanele umbonise ukuthi akukho neyodwa imininingwane efihlekile kuwe: ukhula ukuphelela, futhi akufanele kube khona ukuzinelisa ngaye.
Izibonelo zemisho:
• “Uhlulekile futhi!”
• “Awu, ubani owenza lokho?”
• “Ngiyazi ukuthi ubungazama kakhudlwana.”
Izikhundla eziqinisiwe - ungakhohlwa mayelana ukucindezelwa yigunya… Ungumuntu omdala, futhi abantu abadala bahlale beqinisile. Khona-ke, ngemva kokuvuthwa ngokomzimba, ingane isazobona umbono wakho njengowodwa olungile, ikhiphe izinhlayiya zothuli ezivela kuwe, futhi yesaba ukubonakaliswa kwanoma yimaphi amandla kuze kube yilapho amadolo eqhaqhazela.
Izibonelo zemisho:
• “Akunandaba kimi ukuthi ufunani, yenza njengoba ngishilo!”
• “Ubani okubuzayo?”
• “Kufanele uziphathe kahle nezivakashi ngoba ngishilo!”
Ukuhluka kwengcindezi, igunya lingaba isikhalazo sobuntwana… Ingane kufanele ngaso sonke isikhathi ihlale iyingane – incike futhi ilawulwa nguwe.
Izibonelo zemisho:
• “Usemncane kakhulu ukwenza lokhu!”
• “Lokhu kunzima kakhulu kuwe!”
• “Lapho usumdala, bese …”
Ithuba lakho lokugcina lokugcina ingane yakho ilawulwa iwukumqinisekisa ukuthi, eqinisweni, iqiniso layo alilona iqiniso. Ukuze wenze lokhu, sebenzisa ukuphika imizwa nezidingo… Nguwe kuphela owaziyo ukuthi udingani ngempela. Manje, ngaphandle kwakho (futhi cishe, nawe), ukuhlaselwa kokukhathazeka, ngezinye izikhathi ukuhlaselwa ukwesaba, kuzoqala ukumboza.
Izibonelo zemisho:
• “Awu, kungani wesaba lapho? Akwethusi neze! “
• “Kungani uhlukile, kuncane kangakanani?”
• “Awulidingi nhlobo leli thoyizi.”
• “Awunangqondo futhi wonakele, ngakho uhlala ufuna okuthile.”
Ingabe usukwenzile? Khona-ke kufanelekile ukukhuluma ngokuthi konke lokhu kungenxa yani - isidingo sezikweletu… Ngawo wonke amathuba, ngitshele ukuthi ibuphi ubunzima nobunzima owabekezelela ukukhulisa ingane. Lokhu kuzoqinisekisa ukuthi uhlale ekubeka kuqala. Ukukhetha nje phakathi komuzwa omkhulu wecala phambi kwakho kanye nempilo yakhe, okuyinto, ngendlela, angeke abe nayo nhlobo.
Izibonelo zemisho:
• “Mina nobaba sibeka impilo yethu yonke kuwe!”
• “Sengihlale nalesi silima iminyaka eminingi ngenxa yakho!”
• “Yebo, ngilima imisebenzi emithathu ukuze ngikulethe kubantu!”