Iyiphi indima edlalwa usizo lwezengqondo ezimpilweni zethu? Kungani abantu abaningi besaba ukwelapha? Yimiphi imithetho, ukuvinjelwa, izincomo ezilawula umsebenzi we-psychotherapist?
Ake siqale kusukela ekuqaleni. Ngazi kanjani uma ngidinga usizo lwe-psychotherapist?
U-Anna Varga, I-Systemic Family Therapist: Isibonakaliso sokuqala sokuthi usizo lwe-psychotherapist luyadingeka ukuhlupheka kwengqondo, ukudabuka, umuzwa wokuphazamiseka lapho umuntu eqaphela ukuthi izihlobo zakhe nabangane bakhe abamnikezi iseluleko esifanele.
Noma ukholelwa ukuthi akakwazi ukuxoxa ngemizwa yakhe nabo - khona-ke kufanele azame ukuthola udokotela wakhe wengqondo futhi akhulume naye mayelana nokuhlangenwe nakho kwakhe.
Abantu abaningi bacabanga ukuthi uchwepheshe abazosebenza naye uzohlasela indawo yabo yomuntu siqu. Ungachaza kanjani ukuthi lolu usizo, hhayi nje ingxoxo ebuhlungu yezinkinga?
Noma ilukuluku elibi lesazi sokusebenza kwengqondo… Uyabona, ngakolunye uhlangothi, le mibono incoma udokotela wokusebenza kwengqondo: iphakamisa ukuthi isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uhlobo oluthile lwesidalwa esinamandla esingangena ekhanda lothile. Kuhle, kunjalo, kodwa akunjalo.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, akukho okuqukethwe okukhethekile kokuqaphela kwakho - okukhona «emashalofini» ekhanda lakho, ngemuva komnyango ovaliwe, futhi lowo owelapha angakubona. Lokhu okuqukethwe akukwazi ukubonakala ngaphandle noma, ngendlela, ngaphakathi.
Yingakho abantu ababhekene nezinkinga ezingokwengqondo badinga i-interlocutor.
Okuqukethwe okungokwengqondo kuyakhiwa, kwakhiwe futhi kucace kithi (kokubili emazingeni obuhlakani nawomzwelo) kuphela phakathi nengxoxo. Sinjena.
Okusho ukuthi, asizazi thina, ngakho-ke akekho udokotela wengqondo ongangena ...
…Yebo, ukungena kulokho thina esingakwaziyo. Usizi lwethu luba sobala kithi (ngakho-ke singasebenza nabo ngandlela thize futhi sihambe endaweni ethile) lapho sixoxa, lapho sakha, sithola impendulo, futhi sicabangela isimo ndawonye sivela ezinhlangothini ezahlukene.
Ukudabuka ngokuvamile akubonakali ngamazwi, hhayi emizweni, kodwa ngohlobo lwemizwa yangaphambili, imicabango yangaphambili. Okusho ukuthi, ngokwezinga elithile, isaqhubeka iyimfihlakalo.
Kukhona okunye ukwesaba: kuthiwani uma i-psychotherapist ingilahla - ithi angazi ukuthi ngingaziphatha kanjani noma ngenze izinqumo?
Umelaphi uhlale ehlangothini lweklayenti. Usebenzela iklayenti, ukuze amsize. Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo esifunde kahle (hhayi umuntu owacosha endaweni ethile, wazibiza nge-psychotherapist futhi waya emsebenzini) wazi kahle ukuthi ukulahlwa akusizi muntu, akukho mqondo wokwelapha kuwo.
Uma wenze into ozisola ngayo ngempela, kusho ukuthi usinde kakhulu ngaleso sikhathi, futhi akekho onelungelo lokukwahlulela.
"Umelaphi ofunde kahle": yini oyifaka kuyo? Imfundo iyimfundo futhi iyasebenza. Ucabanga ukuthi yini ebaluleke kakhulu kumelaphi?
Umbono wami lapha awunandaba nhlobo: isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo esifunde kahle siyingcweti ehlangabezana nemibandela ethile.
Asibuzi ukuthi yini isazi sezibalo esifunde kahle! Siyaqonda ukuthi kufanele abe nemfundo ephakeme yezibalo, futhi wonke umuntu ubuza lo mbuzo izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo kanye psychotherapists.
Sivame ukubuza lo mbuzo ngodokotela: kungenzeka ukuthi uneziqu zobudokotela, kodwa ngeke siye kuye ukuze athole ukwelashwa.
Yebo kuyiqiniso. Ibukeka kanjani imfundo eyamukelwa ngokuvamile kadokotela wengqondo osizayo, i-psychotherapist? Lena imfundo eyisisekelo yengqondo, yezokwelapha noma idiploma kasonhlalakahle.
Imfundo eyisisekelo ithatha ukuthi umfundi uthole ulwazi oluyisisekelo mayelana nengqondo yomuntu ngokujwayelekile: mayelana nemisebenzi ephakeme yengqondo, inkumbulo, ukunaka, ukucabanga, amaqembu omphakathi.
Khona-ke imfundo ekhethekile iqala, ngaphakathi kohlaka lapho befundisa khona umsebenzi wokusiza ngempela: ukuthi ukungasebenzi kahle kwabantu kuhlelwa kanjani nokuthi yiziphi izindlela nezindlela lapho lokhu kungasebenzi kungadluliselwa esimweni sokusebenza.
Kunezikhathi empilweni yomuntu noma umndeni lapho usesimweni sokugula, futhi kunezikhathi lapho zisebenza kahle. Ngakho-ke, umqondo we-pathology kanye nokujwayelekile awusebenzi.
Futhi kukhona elinye iphuzu elibalulekile lapho uchwepheshe osizayo ezilungiselela umsebenzi wobuchwepheshe.
Lokhu ukwelashwa komuntu siqu okumele akwenze. Ngaphandle kwawo, akakwazi ukusebenza ngempumelelo. Kungani uchwepheshe edinga ukwelashwa komuntu siqu? Ukuze yena, okokuqala, aqonde ukuthi iklayenti linjani, futhi okwesibili, ukuthola usizo, ukwamukele, okubaluleke kakhulu.
Abafundi abaningi bamakhono angokwengqondo bakholelwa ukuthi, lapho sebeqale lo mkhuba, bazosiza kakhulu futhi basindise wonke umuntu. Kodwa uma umuntu engakwazi ukuthatha, ukuthola, ukucela usizo, ngeke akwazi ukusiza muntu. Ukupha nokuthatha kuyizinhlangothi ezimbili zohlamvu lwemali olufanayo.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, kumele alashwe ngokwakhe ohlelweni lwe-psychotherapy: "kudokotela, zelaphe." Lahla ezakho izinkinga wonke umuntu anazo, lezo zinkinga ezingase ziphazamise ukusiza omunye umuntu.
Isibonelo, iklayenti liza kuwe, futhi linezinkinga ezifanayo nezakho. Ngokubona lokhu, uphenduka into engelutho kuleli klayenti, ngoba ucwile emhlabeni wokuhlupheka kwakho siqu.
Enkambweni yomsebenzi, i-psychotherapist ihlangabezana nokuhlupheka okusha, kodwa kakade uyazi ukuthi angabhekana kanjani nabo nokuthi angaya kuphi, unomphathi, umuntu ongasiza.
Ungakhetha kanjani i-psychotherapist yakho? Yiziphi izimo? Uthando lomuntu siqu? Uphawu lobulili? Noma ingabe kunengqondo ukusondela ohlangothini lwendlela: i-existential, i-systemic family noma i-gestal therapy? Ingabe iklayenti lize libe nethuba lokuhlola izinhlobo ezahlukene zokwelapha uma lingeyena uchwepheshe?
Ngicabanga ukuthi konke kuyasebenza. Uma wazi okuthile mayelana nendlela yokusebenza kwengqondo futhi kubonakala kunengqondo kuwe, bheka uchwepheshe oyilolongayo. Uma uhlangana nodokotela wezengqondo futhi kwakungekho ukwethembana, umuzwa wokuthi uyakuqonda, bheka umuntu ozovela naye umuzwa onjalo.
Nomelaphi wesilisa noma owesifazane… Yebo, zikhona izicelo ezinjalo, ikakhulukazi ekwelapheni komndeni, uma kukhulunywa ngokungasebenzi kahle kwezocansi. Indoda ingasho ukuthi: "Ngeke ngiye kowesifazane, ngeke angiqonde."
Ake sithi sengingenile ekwelashweni, sekunesikhathi kuqhubeka. Ngingaqonda kanjani uma ngithuthuka noma, ngokuphambene, ngifinyelele ekugcineni? Noma ukuthi sekuyisikhathi sokuqeda ukwelashwa? Ingabe ikhona imihlahlandlela yangaphakathi?
Lena inqubo eyinkimbinkimbi kakhulu. Imibandela yokuqeda i-psychotherapy kufanele, ngokombono, kuxoxwe ngayo kule nqubo. Inkontileka ye-psychotherapeutic iphetha: isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo kanye neklayenti bayavumelana ngalokho okuzoba umphumela omuhle womsebenzi ohlangene kubo. Lokhu akusho ukuthi umbono womphumela awukwazi ukushintsha.
Kwesinye isikhathi isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo sisho into amakhasimende angathandi ukuyizwa.
Isibonelo, umndeni ufika nentsha, futhi le nsizwa iyaqonda ukuthi umeluleki udale isimo sokuxhumana esilula nesiphephile kuye. Futhi uqala ukusho izinto ezingemnandi kubazali bakhe, ezicasulayo nezinzima kubo. Baqala ukuthukuthela, bakholelwa ukuthi umelaphi uchukuluze ingane. Lokhu kuvamile, into ebaluleke kakhulu ukutshela umelaphi ngakho.
Ngokwesibonelo, nganginombhangqwana oshadile. Owesifazane uthule, uyazithoba. Ngesikhathi sokwelashwa, waqala "ukusukuma emadolweni akhe." Indoda yangithukuthelela kakhulu: “Kuyini lokhu? Kungenxa yakho ukuthi waqala ukungibekela imibandela! Kodwa ekugcineni, uthando ababenalo ngomunye nomunye lwaqala ukwanda, lwajula, ukunganeliseki kwanqotshwa ngokushesha.
I-Psychotherapy ngokuvamile iyinqubo engathandeki. Kuyinto efiseleka kakhulu ukuthi ngemva kweseshini umuntu ahambe esesimweni esingcono kunalokho angena khona, kodwa lokhu akunjalo ngaso sonke isikhathi. Uma kukhona ukuthembela ku-psychotherapist, umsebenzi weklayenti awukona ukufihla ukunganeliseki kwakhe naye, ukudumazeka, intukuthelo.
I-psychotherapist, ngakolunye uhlangothi, kufanele ibone izimpawu zokunganeliseki okufihliwe. Ngokwesibonelo, wayefika ngesikhathi esimisiwe, futhi manje wayeseqala ukufika sekwephuzile.
Umelaphi kufanele abuze iklayenti lo mbuzo: “Ngenzeni kabi? Ngikholelwa ukuthi njengoba uphuzile, ngakho-ke, ngaphezu kwesifiso sokuza lapha, nawe unokungabaza. Kusobala ukuthi kukhona okwenzekayo phakathi kwethu okungakuphathi kahle. Ake sithole.»
Iklayenti elinomthwalo wemfanelo alifihli uma kukhona okungahambisani naye ohlelweni lwe-psychotherapy, futhi litshela ngokuqondile umelaphi ngakho.
Esinye isihloko esibalulekile ukuziphatha ebudlelwaneni phakathi komelaphi neklayenti. Kulabo abaya e-aphoyintimenti, kubalulekile ukucabanga ngaphakathi kwemiphi imingcele abazosebenzisana nayo. Ayini amalungelo eklayenti kanye nezibopho ze-psychotherapist?
Izimiso zokuziphatha zibucayi ngempela. I-psychotherapist inolwazi mayelana neklayenti, unegunya, isibalo esibalulekile seklayenti, futhi akakwazi ukuhlukumeza lokhu. Kubalulekile ukuvikela iklayenti ekuhlukunyezweni ngokuzithandela noma ngokuzenzakalelayo yi-psychotherapist.
Okokuqala ubumfihlo. Umelaphi uyabuhlonipha ubumfihlo bakho, ngaphandle uma kuza ekuphileni nokufa. Okwesibili - futhi lokhu kubaluleke kakhulu - akukho ukusebenzisana ngaphandle kwezindonga zehhovisi.
Leli yiphuzu elibalulekile futhi elibonakala lincane kakhulu. Siyathanda ukuba abangani nawo wonke umuntu, ukuxhumana ngokwethukela ...
Amaklayenti athanda ukusifaka ebudlelwaneni: ngaphezu kokuba ngumelaphi wami, nawe ungumngane wami. Futhi lokhu kwenzelwa ukuthuthukisa ezokuphepha. Kodwa lapho nje ukuxhumana ngaphandle kwehhovisi kuqala, ukwelashwa kwengqondo kuyaphela.
Iyayeka ukusebenza ngoba ukuxhumana kweklayenti nomelaphi kuwukusebenzelana okucashile.
Futhi amagagasi anamandla othando, ubungane, ucansi abugeza ngaso leso sikhathi. Ngakho-ke, awukwazi ukubheka izindlu zomunye nomunye, ukuya kumakhonsathi nemidlalo ndawonye.
Olunye udaba olubaluleke kakhulu emphakathini wethu. Ake sithi ngiyaqonda ukuthi umngane wami, umfowethu, indodakazi, ubaba, umama udinga usizo. Ngiyabona ukuthi bazizwa kabi, ngifuna ukusiza, ngibancenga ukuba baye kudokotela wengqondo, kodwa abahambi. Yini okufanele ngiyenze uma ngikholelwa ngobuqotho ekwelashweni, kodwa othandekayo wami akakholelwa kukho?
Buyisanani nilinde. Uma engakholwa, akakakulungeli ukwamukela lolu sizo. Kukhona umthetho onjalo: ubani ofuna i-psychotherapist, udinga usizo. Ake sithi umama ocabanga ukuthi izingane zakhe zidinga ukwelashwa cishe iklayenti uqobo.
Ngabe ucabanga ukuthi ukwelashwa kwengqondo akukaziwa kahle emphakathini wethu? Ingabe kufanele ithuthukiswe? Noma ingabe kwanele ukuthi kukhona ama-psychotherapists, futhi noma ubani obadingayo uzothola indlela yakhe kubo?
Ubunzima wukuthi asikho isidingo sokukhuluma ngomphakathi onobunye. Eminye imibuthano iyazi ngama-psychotherapist futhi isebenzisa izinsizakalo zabo. Kodwa kukhona nenani elikhulu labantu ababhekana nokuhlupheka kwengqondo futhi i-psychotherapist engasiza, kodwa abazi lutho ngokwelashwa. Impendulo yami, yiqiniso, kuyadingeka ukufundisa, ukusabalalisa nokutshela.
Inhlolokhono yaqoshwa iphrojekthi ehlangene yomagazini we-Psychologies nomsakazo "Isiko" "Isimo: Ebudlelwaneni" ngoJanuwari 2017.