Umshado namuhla neminyaka eyi-100 edlule: uyini umehluko?

Ukuthuthukiswa kwezimboni, ukukhululwa kwabesifazane, kanye nenguquko yango-1917 kwathuthukisa umphakathi futhi kwacekela phansi imibono emisiwe yomndeni nomshado. Sekuyiminyaka engaphezu kwekhulu, ishintshile kangangokuthi imithetho eminingi ibonakala ingenangqondo.

Yini eguqukile?

Ubudala

ERussia ekuqaleni kwekhulu le-18, umthetho wombuso wawusebenza owasungula iminyaka yokushada: emadodeni yayineminyaka engu-16 ubudala, kwabesifazane - 22. Kodwa abameleli bezigaba eziphansi babevame ukuphendukela kuziphathimandla zesonto ngesicelo. ukushada amadodakazi abo ngaphambi kosuku olusemthethweni. Lokhu kwakuvame ukuchazwa ngokuthi kwakudingeka i-hostess endlini yomkhwenyana. Ngaso leso sikhathi, lapho ineminyaka engu-23-XNUMX, intombazane ngaleso sikhathi yayisivele icatshangwa ukuthi "ihlezi" futhi isiphetho sayo, ukuyibeka kancane, ingenakuvinjelwa.

Namuhla, Ikhodi Yomndeni yamanje eRussia ivumela umshado kusukela eminyakeni engu-18. Ezimweni ezingavamile, ungasayina ku-16, noma ngisho nangaphambi kwalokho. Njengomthetho, isisekelo salokhu ukukhulelwa noma ukuzalwa kwengane. Nokho, izibalo zibonisa ukuthi imishado isencane isiyivelakancane. I-Demographic Yearbook of Russia yakamuva ka-2019 iqinisekisa ukuthi imibhangqwana eminingi ibhalisa ubudlelwano lapho ineminyaka engama-27-29. Amadoda nabesifazane abaningi bashada okokuqala ngemva kweminyaka engu-35. Futhi inkulumo ethi «incekukazi endala» ibangela ukumamatheka okuyindida.

Imibono ngobudlelwano

Ubulili ngaphambi komshado eminyakeni eyi-100 edlule kwakubhekwa njengesono, ilungelo lokuya ocansini lanikezwa kuphela ngesifungo esingcwele, esivalwe isonto. Isiteji sokuqomisana okuvulekile saqala kuphela ngemuva kokuxhumana okusemthethweni. Kodwa ngisho nakulokhu, umakoti nomkhwenyana babengavamile ukuba bodwa. Eduze, umama, u-anti, udadewabo babephotha - ngokuvamile, othile wesithathu. Kwakungenzeka ukushada futhi ushade kuphela ngemvume yabazali: bambalwa abantu ababa nesibindi sokuphambana nentando kayise.

Manje kunzima ngathi ukucabanga ukuthi kungenzeka ukuhlobanisa ukudalelwa nomuntu esingamazi ngempela. Kodwa indlela yokuhlangana, ukukhuluma, ukuhamba ngesandla, ukugona nokuqabula, zama ukuhlala ndawonye, ​​ekugcineni? Kulokhu, ezimweni eziningi, abazali bamane babekwe ngaphambi kweqiniso.

Ukulindela okufanayo

ERussia yangaphambi kokuguquguquka, bekungeke kube khona umbuzo wokulingana komshado. Owesifazane wayethembele ngokuphelele kumyeni wakhe—ngokwezinto ezibonakalayo nangokwenhlalo. Kwakufanele aphathe umuzi, azale abantwana, “okungakanani uNkulunkulu ayokunika,” futhi ahlanganyele ekuzikhuliseni. Imindeni ecebile kuphela eyayikwazi ukukhokhela umzanyana kanye nombusi.

Udlame lwasekhaya lwakhuthazwa buthule, kwaba nesisho esasisetshenziswa: "fundisa umkakho." Futhi lokhu akona nje kuphela «abamnyama» abampofu, kodwa futhi izicukuthwane yizicukuthwane. Kwadingeka ngibekezele, ngaphandle kwalokho kwakungenakwenzeka ukuzondla mina nabantwana. Ukuqashwa kwabesifazane empeleni kwakungekho: inceku, umthungi, isisebenzi sasefekthri, uthisha, umlingisi - yilokho okukhethwa kukho. Eqinisweni, owesifazane wayengenakubhekwa njengozimele futhi, ngokufanele, afune ukuhlonishwa.

Ubudlelwano bomshado besimanje, ngokufanelekile, bakhelwe phezu kokwethembana, ukwehlukana ngokulinganayo kwezibopho, kanye nombono wezwe ofanayo. Akumangalisi ukuthi indoda nomfazi bavame ukubizwa ngokuthi abalingani: abantu balindele inhlonipho, ukuqonda, ukusekelwa, ukuhlonipheka komunye nomunye. Akuyona indima yokugcina edlalwa inhlalakahle yezezimali, lapho kokubili kutshalwe khona. Futhi uma ngokuzumayo ukuphila komkhaya kungahlangani, lokhu akuyona inhlekelele, abantu ababili abaphumelelayo bayakwazi ukuzibona bengashadile.

Washada ngani pho?

Kwakungacabangeki ngenye indlela. Ukuziphatha okungokwenkolo kwabusa umphakathi, kwaphakamisa ukubaluleka komshado. Kusukela zisencane, izingane zafundiswa ukuthi ukuba nomkhaya kuwumsebenzi oyinhloko ekuphileni. Abantu abanesizungu babebhekwa ngokulahlwa. Ikakhulukazi kwabesifazane - phela, baba umthwalo ezihlotsheni.

Indoda eyayingajahile ukushada yayiphathwa ngokweyisa: bathi mayihambe. Kodwa entombazaneni, ukushada ngokuvamile kwakuyindaba yokuphila. Isimo somfazi asiqinisekisanga nje kuphela ukuthi siwusizo, kodwa futhi saqinisekisa ukuba khona okubekezelelekayo noma okuncane.

Okubaluleke kakhulu kwakuwukuba sekilasini elithile. Izingane ezihlonishwayo zenza imifelandawonye ngenxa yesikhundla, ukuzala, noma ukuthuthukisa isimo sazo sezimali esintengantengayo. Emindenini yabahwebi, into enqumayo yayivame ukuba inzuzo yezohwebo: isibonelo, ithuba lokuhlanganisa imali kanye nokwandisa ibhizinisi.

Abalimi abashadile ngokuyinhloko ngenxa yezizathu zezomnotho: umndeni kamakoti walahla umlomo owengeziwe, owesifazane wathola uphahla phezu kwekhanda lakhe kanye "nocezu lwesinkwa", indoda yathola umsizi wamahhala. Yebo, imishado yothando nayo yenziwa ngaleso sikhathi. Kodwa ezikhathini eziningi, kwahlala kuyiphupho nje lothando, elavulela izithakazelo ezingokoqobo kuphela.

Ushadelani manje?

Abanye bathambekele ekukholelweni ukuthi isisekelo somndeni nomshado sesiphelelwe yisikhathi futhi sekuyisikhathi sokuthi siqedwe njengokungadingeki. Njengengxabano, kucashunwa inani elikhulayo lemibhangqwana ekhetha ubudlelwano bomphakathi, imishado yezivakashi noma ubudlelwano obuvulekile.

Ngaphezu kwalokho, isiko elingenabantwana manje liyakhula (isifiso esiqaphelayo sokungabi nabantwana), imibono yokubekezelela abantu abashintsha ubulili, izinyunyana zobulili obufanayo kanye namafomethi angewona ajwayelekile njengokuthi, isibonelo, i-polyamory (ubudlelwane lapho, ngokuhlanganyela imvume yokuzithandela yabalingani, wonke umuntu angaba nezindaba zothando nabantu abambalwa).

Nokho, abaningi basasekela imibono evamile yokuba nomfazi oyedwa ngezindinganiso zomkhaya. Kunjalo, imishado yokunethezeka, imishado engalingani futhi engelona iqiniso isaqhutshwa. Kodwa-ke, izithakazelo ze-mercantile zikude nesizathu esiyinhloko sokuthola isitembu kupasipoti yakho.