Ozakwethu bathethelele amaqhinga amabi kakhulu. Iziphathimandla zihlala ngasohlangothini lwazo. Nalabo ababakhaphelayo sebekulungele ukubamela ngentaba. Iyini imfihlo ye "bastards brilliant"?
Muva nje, siya ngokuya sifunda izindaba zezihlabani zethu mayelana nabayeni ababebagcona, bebalulaza futhi bebashaya. Lokhu kuphakamisa umbuzo: owesifazane ophumelelayo futhi omuhle angakhetha kanjani umuntu onjalo njengomlingani? Kungani engazange akuqaphele ukuthambekela kwakhe?
Mhlawumbe, abayeni bangaphambili banezimfanelo izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo ezibhekisela ku-"triad emnyama" - i-narcissism, i-Machiavellianism (ukuthambekela kokukhohlisa abanye) kanye ne-psychopathy. Ucwaningo lwakamuva lunikeza ukukhanya kokuthi kungani kuyilezi zimfanelo ngokunembile, naphezu kwemvelo yazo elimazayo, ezenza abanikazi bazo bathandeke.
UNicholas Holtzman noMichael Strube baseNyuvesi yaseWashington (USA)1 iseshe isixhumanisi phakathi kokukhanga ngokomzimba kanye nokuthambekela kwe-narcissism, psychopathy, kanye ne-Machiavellianism. Bameme abafundi abangu-111 elabhorethri. Okokuqala, bathwetshulwa, bese becelwa ukuba bashintshe izingubo zabo ezilungiselelwe kusengaphambili - njengento elula futhi engathathi hlangothi ngangokunokwenzeka.
Abesifazane baphinde bacelwa ukuthi bageze zonke izimonyo, ubucwebe, futhi bagcine izinwele zabo emsila wehhashi. Base bethwetshulwa futhi ngesithombe esisha. U-Holtzman no-Strube babonise i-video eqoshiwe eqenjini labantu abangabazi, bebacela ukuthi balinganisele mayelana nokukhanga ngokomzimba. Babefuna ukuqonda ukuthi yimuphi kubafundi okwazile ukuzenza abangenakuvinjelwa ngosizo lwezingubo, izimonyo nezinye izinto.
Ama-Covert narcissists kanye nama-manipulators abakhangi kakhulu kunabanye, kodwa bangcono ekuzethuleni.
Abacwaningi base benza isithombe esingokwengqondo sabahlanganyeli, futhi baphinde baxoxisana nabajwayelene nabangane babo ngocingo nange-imeyili. Ngokuhlanganisa ibanga labo kanye namabanga abanye abantu, baqhamuke nephrofayili yomfundi ngamunye.
Abanye babo babonisa izici zakudala ze-"triad emnyama": uzwela oluphansi, ukuthambekela kokwephula imingcele nokusebenzisa abanye ukufeza umgomo wabo, isifiso sesimo nokuvelela. Kuvele ukuthi laba bantu bathathwa njengabakhanga kakhulu ngabantu abangabazi.
Bekunelukuluku lokuthi igebe phakathi kwezilinganiso zezithombe zabo zangaphambili nangemuva lalilikhulu. Okusho ukuthi, ama-narcissists ayimfihlo kanye nama-manipulators abazange badlule abanye ngokuheha lapho begqoke izikibha ezingenalutho nama-sweatpants. Ngakho-ke, iphuzu liwukuthi bayakwazi kangcono ukuziveza. Le datha ihambisana nemiphumela yezifundo zangaphambilini: ama-narcissists athandeka kakhulu kunabanye ekuqaleni - ngokoqobo.
Ososayensi basikisela ukuthi izici ezimbili zihlanganiswe lapha: "ubuhlakani" bomphakathi obuthuthukisiwe bama-manipulators kanye namaphutha ethu okuqonda. Ama-Narcisists abonakala ethandeka kithi ngenxa yekhono lawo lokuhlaba umxhwele: abukeka emangalisa, amamatheke kakhulu, asebenzisa ulimi lomzimba ngobuchule. Singasho ukuthi bangompetha bokuziveza. Bayazi kahle indlela yokuthola ukunakwa nokuvusa isithakazelo kubo.
Uma othile ebonakala emuhle futhi ethandeka kithi, sivele sicabange ukuthi unomusa, uhlakaniphile futhi uyazethemba.
Ukukhanga komuntu ngokomzimba kuvame ukuhlotshaniswa nohlu lwezinye izimfanelo ezinhle, into eyaziwa ngokuthi «umphumela we-halo. Uma othile ebonakala emuhle futhi ethandeka kithi, sivele sicabange ukuthi unomusa, uhlakaniphile, futhi uyazethemba. Lokhu, ikakhulukazi, kusiza abakhohlisi ukuthi bazitholele izisulu zabo, bathathe izikhundla zobuholi futhi bathole abasekeli abathembekile.
Ama-Narcissists kanye ne-sociopaths abaqondi ingqikithi yobudlelwane, ngakho benza umzamo omkhulu ekwakheni isithombe esimangalisayo. Futhi lokhu kuyaqinisekisa: umphumela wombono wokuqala awuhlali unomphela. Uthuli abaluphonsa emehlweni abo luzodamba ngokushesha noma kamuva. Isipelingi sizophuka. Ngeshwa, ngokuvamile abalingani nabangane banamathela kakhulu kubo kangangokuthi abawatholi amandla okugqashula ubudlelwano.
Kodwa ngokuvamile, intuition ibamba okuthile okungahambisani nesithombe esifanele emakhanda ethu: ukubukeka okubandayo, ukushintsha kwephimbo ngokushesha, ukuthopha okungacashile ... Lalela imizwa yakho: uma ikunikeza izimpawu ze-alamu, mhlawumbe kufanele uqhelelane nalo muntu.
1 Isayensi Yezengqondo Nezobuntu, 2013, vol. 4, №4.