Ababodwa ababodwa

Ngekhulu lesi-XNUMX, abantu bazizwa bebodwa kakhulu kunangaphambili. Lesi isiphetho esifinyelelwe ababhali bocwaningo lwakamuva olwenziwe e-United States. Ngaphezu kwalokho: namuhla umzwangedwa usuwubhubhane.

Kuyavunywa ukuthi labo abahlala bodwa akekho abangaphendukela kuye ngezikhathi ezinzima. Kulolu cwaningo, ababhali bahlanganisa kokubili labo abahlala bodwa nalabo abazizwa benesizungu njengabahlanganyeli. Kwavela ukuthi ungazizwa unesizungu ngisho nasemshadweni.

Umsebenzi womphakathi "yihhashi" labantu ababodwa

Kodwa akugcini lapho: kuvela ukuthi abantu abangashadile, ikakhulukazi labo asebenesikhathi eside bengashadile, banobudlelwane obuhle futhi bakhuthele kakhulu.

Olunye ucwaningo oluhilela izifundo ezingu-300 ezivela emazweni angu-000 lubonise ukuthi abafelokazi nabafelokazi, abadivosile futhi abangakaze bashade, bahlangana nabangane ngo-31% kaningi kunabantu abashadile. Iqiniso liwukuthi ngokuvamile abantu abakhethe ukushada baba inyumbazane emkhayeni wabo, banqamule ubuhlobo nabangane nezihlobo, futhi ngenxa yalokho bazizwe benesizungu.

Isizungu siyinkinga ehlukile okungafanele kudidaniswe nokukhetha isimo: ukushada / ukushada noma ukuhlala wedwa. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ngezinye izikhathi kungaba yisixazululo esihle.

UJohn Cascioppo, umlobi wencwadi ethi Loneliness, uthi: “Ukuba wedwa nokuzizwa uwedwa akuyona into efanayo. Kodwa kokubili kuyizimpawu zesikhathi sethu. Labo abathanda ukuba bodwa basafuna ubudlelwano: baqhutshwa umuzwa wecala. Nokho, baba necala nakakhulu lapho ekugcineni beshada. Ukujabula wedwa kulungile njengokubheka injabulo kwabashadile.

Ingabe ukuba wedwa kuyisinqumo esifanele?

Ukuqhathaniswa kokuziphatha kwemibhangqwana ngo-1980 no-2000 kubonise ukuthi imibhangqwana emodeli ka-2000, ngokungafani nemibhangqwana ngo-1980, ikhulumisana kancane nabangane futhi ayisebenzi kangako emphakathini. Kodwa abantu banamuhla abangashadile bazivumelanisa kangcono nomphakathi. Abanesizungu kakhulu esikhathini sethu abantu abashadile, hhayi abantu abangashadile abahlale bethintana nabangane.

Lokhu kusho ukuthi ukwanda kwesibalo sabantu abakhetha ukungangeni ebudlelwaneni kunethemba, akwethusi, ngoba kulula kubo ukugcina ukuxhumana nabantu.

Ngaphambilini, umndeni wawuyisisekelo sesistimu yokusekela, kodwa ngokuhamba kwesikhathi kuye kwaba nokuguquguquka ekusungulweni "kwenhlanganyelo yesizungu". Ubungane buwumthombo wamandla kubantu abanjalo, futhi ukusekela okwakutholwa emkhayeni manje kuvela kwabanye abantu okungase kusondele nakakhulu ukukhulumisana nabo. “Nginabangane abaningi engixhumana nabo cishe nsuku zonke,” kusho u-Alexander oneminyaka engu-47 ubudala.

Lolu hlobo lobudlelwano nalo lukhethwa yilabo abafuna ukuba bodwa ekupheleni kosuku. Abantu abanjalo babuyela ekhaya ngemva kwephathi nabangane, futhi abakudingayo nje ukuthula nokuthula ukuze bathole ukulinganisela.

“Ngachitha iminyaka engu-17 ngedwa. Kodwa ngangingenaso isizungu,” kukhumbula uMaria oneminyaka engu-44 ubudala. – Lapho ngifuna, ngakhuluma nabangane, kodwa lokhu akuzange kwenzeke nsuku zonke. Ngangikujabulela ukuba ngedwa.”

Kodwa-ke, inkinga ukuthi abaningi basakholelwa ukuthi abantu abanjalo banenhlalo. Lokhu, isibonelo, kufakazelwa yimiphumela yocwaningo lapho abafundi abayi-1000 bebambe iqhaza. Akumangalisi ukuthi bona ngokwabo bakholelwa imibono engavamile ngabo.

Noma ngabe kunjalo, abantu ababodwa abaziphathi ngendlela elindeleke kubo. Kokunye ukuhlola, izihloko ezineminyaka engu-50 nangaphezulu zacelwa ukuba zikhulume ngobuhlobo bazo nomndeni nabangane. Bangaphezu kuka-2000 abantu ababambe iqhaza kulolu cwaningo, futhi luthathe cishe iminyaka eyisithupha. Lezi zifundo bezihlukene ngamaqembu amathathu: abahlala bodwa, asebethandane iminyaka engaphansi kwemithathu, nalabo asebethandane iminyaka engaphezu kwemine. Kuvele ukuthi abantu ababodwa bachitha isikhathi esiningi nabangani, umndeni, abangani nomakhelwane.

EYurophu naseMelika, intsha engaphezu kuka-50% ithi ayihlelile ukushada noma ukushada, futhi ngesizathu esihle. Futhi okubaluleke kakhulu, lokhu akwethusi: ngokuphambene nalokho, uma kukhona abangashadile abaningi emhlabeni, singase sibe nethemba lokuhle kakhulu. Mhlawumbe sizoqala ukusiza abanye kakhulu, ukuxhumana nabangane futhi sihlanganyele kakhulu ekuphileni komphakathi.

Mayelana Nombhali: U-Eliakim Kislev uyi-PhD kuSociology kanye nombhali we-Happy Solitude: On Growing Acceptance and Welcome to the Solo Life.