Okuqukethwe
Abaningi bethu bakhuluma kanjani ngokucindezeleka noma okuhlangenwe nakho okubuhlungu—kubangane, esibathandayo, noma ochwepheshe? Njengomthetho, kumuntu wokuqala: "Ngikhumbula ukuthi kwakunjani ...", "Ngaleso sikhathi ngazizwa (a) ...", "Angisoze ngakhohlwa ...". Kodwa kuvela ukuthi ukukhethwa kwesabizwana lapho kuchazwa okwenzekile kungathinta kakhulu inkambo yokwelapha. Umelaphi wezobuciko u-Cathy Malchiodi wabelana ngocwaningo lwakamuva kule ndawo.
Mhlawumbe isu elingcono kakhulu lokunciphisa ingcindezi ukukhuluma, ukubhala, nokuziveza ngobuciko ngendlela yokubuka umuntu ongayena owokuqala. Kunoma yikuphi, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo kanye nochwepheshe bezobuciko uCathy Malchiodi ukholelwa ukuthi ukukhethwa kwesabizwana esisisebenzisa kuma-monologues angaphakathi kungathinta kakhulu isimo sengqondo. Umbono wakhe usekelwa ubufakazi besayensi obunikeza abelaphi ulwazi olubalulekile ukuze basebenzisane namakhasimende ngombhalo nangobuciko.
Kuvela ukuthi ukukhuluma wedwa usuka endaweni “ezinzile” kuthuthukisa ukulawulwa kwemizwelo. Kungani lokhu kwenzeka?
"Mina noma wena"?
Ukukhuluma ngomuntu wokuqala kuhilela ukusetshenziswa kwezabizwana ezithi «Mina», «mina», «yami», «mina». Ochwepheshe bayeluleka ngokufaka igama elithi “wena”, “yena (a)”, noma ufake igama lakho siqu.
UMalchiodi unikeza isibonelo sengxoxo eyakhayo yangaphakathi ayigijima ekhanda lakhe ngaphambi komdlalo ukuze anciphise ukwesaba esiteji: “Qhubeka, Cathy, uzophumelela. Umncane!» Le nqubo kade yaziwa kubasubathi nosopolitiki - isetshenziselwa ukwandisa ukusebenza nokuqinisa ukuzethemba. Izinhlobonhlobo zalolu hlobo lwe-monologue yangaphakathi zingasebenza kwezinye izimo, ikakhulukazi lezo ezihlanganisa izinkumbulo ezibuhlungu noma izenzakalo eziphazamisayo.
Ukugcina ibanga lethu
Ucwaningo lwakamuva olubili lukhombisa ukuthi leli su elilula lingasiza kanjani ekuzilawuleni nasekunciphiseni ingcindezi. Ukuhlolwa kokuqala, okwenziwa e-Michigan State University, kwafakazela ukuthi ukwenqaba ukusebenzisa izabizwana ezithi «Mina», «yami» nokunye okunjalo kuvame ukuholela eqinisweni lokuthi abantu baqala ukuzibona sengathi bangaphandle - njengoba bebona abanye. .
Lokhu kubasiza ukuba bahlukane nokuhlangenwe nakho okungajabulisi, benze ibanga elithile elingokwengqondo, ngenxa yalokho imizwa iyancipha, kunoma yikuphi, lokhu kuqinisekiswa ubuchwepheshe bokuskena ubuchopho obuhilelekile ocwaningweni.
Ukucabanga ngawe kumuntu wesithathu kuyindlela engabizi kakhulu yokusebenza ngemizwa yakho
Olunye ucwaningo lwenziwe eLabhorethri Yemizwa Neziqu Zokuzilawula eNyuvesi yaseMichigan. Besebenzisa i-imaging magnetic resonance esebenzayo, abacwaningi bahlole umehluko emsebenzini wobuchopho kubahlanganyeli ababonise ulwazi lwabo. Izifundo ezigwema imishwana yomuntu wokuqala zinendawo yobuchopho esebenza kancane ehambisana nezinkumbulo ezingemnandi, ekhombisa ukulawulwa okungcono kwemizwa.
Ngakho, womabili amaqembu ocwaningo afinyelela esiphethweni sokuthi ukukhuluma ngawe kumuntu wesithathu kuyindlela efinyelelekayo yokusebenza ngemizwa yakho.
Sebenzisa ekwelapheni kwezobuciko
UCathy Malchiodi ubuza umbuzo: lokhu kungasetshenziswa kanjani ekusebenzeni, isibonelo, ekwelapheni kwezobuciko? "Ukusuka ekuzilandiseni kuye ekulandiseni komuntu wesithathu kuvumela izingane kanye nabantu abadala ukuthi babhekane ngokuphephile nezinkumbulo ezingemnandi," uyabelana. — Ngokwesibonelo, ngingacela ingane ukuba ingibonise ukukhathazeka kwayo ngomdwebo noma umfanekiso oqoshiwe wobumba. Bese ngiyabuza: Uma lokhu kukhathazeka kungakhuluma, bekuzothini? Ngikhuthaza ingane ukuthi igcine ibanga eliphephile kokuhlangenwe nakho futhi igweme imilayezo ethi "I".
Ngokufanayo, ngingacela umuntu omdala ukuthi abhale phansi amagama amahlanu afika engqondweni ngemva kokuqeda umdwebo noma ukuziveza ngokunyakaza. Lawa magama amahlanu angawasebenzisa ukuqamba inkondlo noma indaba echaza isipiliyoni sakhe kumuntu wesithathu.
Indlela akuyona eyawo wonke umuntu
Umbhali ugcizelela ukuthi indaba enjalo mayelana nesipiliyoni ayilona isu elisebenza kahle kakhulu lokufeza imigomo yokwelapha. Lapho sikhuluma ngathi kumuntu wokuqala, kuvame ukuba lula ngathi ukufaneleka kokuhlangenwe nakho okuthile, imibono noma imizwa, futhi lokhu kuholela enqubekelaphambili esheshayo nebonakalayo ekusebenzeni nochwepheshe bengqondo.
Kodwa lapho inhloso yeseshini iwukusekela iklayenti nokubasiza ukuba babhekane nemizwelo evela ekucindezelekeni, izinkumbulo ezibuhlungu, ukulahlekelwa, noma ezinye izinkinga, ukugwema izitatimende ze-«I» kuyisu elihle, okungenani esikhathini esifushane.
"Ochwepheshe kuzodingeka bajule ukuthi yiluphi uhlobo lokuxhumana olusetshenziswa kangcono ekululameni, impilo engokomzwelo kanye nenhlalakahle yonke yeziguli," kuphetha isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo.
Mayelana Nombhali: UCathy Malchiodi uyisazi sokusebenza kwengqondo, uchwepheshe wezobuciko, kanye nombhali wezokwelashwa kwezobuciko.