Okuqukethwe
Emsebenzini, ebudlelwaneni, enkampanini yabangane, abantu abanjalo bathi ubuholi futhi benza konke ukuze baphumelele. Ngokuvamile imizamo yabo iyavuzwa, kodwa nokho ayikho impumelelo ebonakala yanele kubo. Kungani lokhu kuthatheka ngemiphumela?
“Umphakathi wanamuhla ugxile ekusebenzeni kahle,” kuchaza isazi sezenhlalo esingumFulentshi u-Alain Ehrenbert, umlobi wencwadi ethi The Labor of Being Yourself. Ukuba inkanyezi, ukuthola ukuthandwa akuselona iphupho, kodwa kuwumsebenzi. Isifiso sokuwina siba umfutho onamandla, kusiphoqa ukuthi siqhubeke sithuthuka. Nokho, kungaholela nasekucindezelekeni. Uma, naphezu kwemizamo yethu emihle, singakaphumeleli, siba namahloni, nokuzethemba kwethu kuyehla.
Hlala uyingane eyingqayizivele
Kwabanye, ukugqobhoza phezulu futhi bathole isisekelo kunendaba yokuphila nokufa. Abantu abahamba phezu kwamakhanda abo futhi abangangabazi ukusebenzisa izindlela ezingcolile ukufeza izinhloso zabo ngokuvamile badinga ukunconywa ngabanye futhi abakwazi ukubona izinkinga zabanye abantu. Zombili lezi zimpawu zobuntu be-narcissistic.
Lolu hlobo luyabonakala kusukela ebuntwaneni. Ingane enjalo kufanele ibe ukuphela kwento ethandwa abazali bayo. Ukuqiniseka ngalolu thando kuyisisekelo sokuzihlonipha kwengane, lapho ukuzethemba kwayo yakhelwe khona.
“Uthando lomzali luyifa esinalo ukuphila kwethu konke,” kusho u-Antonella Montano, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo nomqondisi weSikhungo. AT Beck eRoma. - Kumelwe kungabi nemibandela. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, ukuchichima kothando kungaba nemiphumela elimazayo: ingane izokholelwa ukuthi wonke umuntu, ngaphandle kokukhetha, kufanele amkhonze. Uzozibona ehlakaniphe kakhulu, emuhle futhi enamandla, ngoba yilokho okushiwo abazali bakhe. Lapho bekhula, abantu abanjalo bazibheka njengabaphelele futhi babambelele ngokuqinile kule nkohliso: ukulahlekelwa yibo kusho ukulahlekelwa yikho konke.
Ukuze ube othandwa kakhulu
Kwezinye izingane akwanele ukuthandwa nje, zidinga ukuthandwa kakhulu. Lesi sidingo kunzima ukwanelisa uma kukhona ezinye izingane emkhayeni. Ngokukadokotela wengqondo waseFrance uMarcel Rufo, umbhali wencwadi ethi Sisters and Brothers. Isifo sothando”, lomona awuphephi muntu. Enganeni endala kubonakala sengathi lonke uthando lwabazali luya kwencane. Omncane uzwa sengathi uhlala ebamba abanye. Izingane eziphakathi azazi nhlobo ukuthi zenzeni: zizithola ziphakathi kwezibulo, zibayala "ngelungelo lesikhundla", kanye nengane, wonke umuntu amkhathalelayo futhi ayazisa.
Engakwazi ukuzuza indawo ezinhliziyweni zabazali futhi, umuntu uyilwela ngaphandle, emphakathini.
Umbuzo uthi abazali bazokwazi yini “ukusabalalisa” uthando ngendlela yokuthi ingane ngayinye zizwe ubuhle besikhundla nendawo yayo emkhayeni. Lokhu akwenzeki ngaso sonke isikhathi, okusho ukuthi ingane ingase ibe nomuzwa wokuthi indawo yakhe isithathiwe.
Engakwazi ukuzuza indawo ezinhliziyweni zabazali bakhe futhi, uyakulwela ngaphandle, emphakathini. "Maye, kaningi kuvela ukuthi endleleni eya kulesi siqongo umuntu walahlekelwa izithakazelo zakhe, ubudlelwano nabathandekayo, walahla impilo yakhe," kukhononda uMontano. Ungahlushwa kanjani yilokhu?
Okufanele ngikwenze
1. Linganisa okuhlosiwe.
Empini yokuthola indawo elangeni, kulula ukulahlekelwa izinto eziza kuqala. Yini ebalulekile futhi ebalulekile kuwe? Yini ekushayelayo? Yini oyitholayo ngokwenza lokhu hhayi ngenye indlela?
Le mibuzo izosiza ukudweba umugqa phakathi kwezinjongo ezishiwo yingxenye ye-narcissistic yobuntu bethu kanye nezifiso ezinempilo.
2. Yenza ngobuhlakani.
Ukwenza ngaphansi kwethonya lemizwelo nemizwa, gxoba indawo okuzungezile isikhathi esifushane, ungashiyi itshe elingashintshiwe. Ukuze ukunambitheka kokunqoba kungagcini ngokuba khona ubuthi, kuyasiza ukulalela izwi lokucabanga kaningi.
3. Kwazise ukunqoba.
Sifinyelela phezulu, kodwa asizizwa sinelisekile, ngoba umgomo omusha usuvele usondele phambi kwethu. Ungawuphula kanjani lo mbuthano ononya? Okokuqala - ukuqaphela umzamo osetshenzisiwe. Isibonelo, ngokutadisha idayari kanye nohlu lwemisebenzi esiyiqedile ukuze sithole esikufunayo. Kubaluleke kakhulu futhi ukuthi uzinike isipho - sikufanele.
4. Yamukela ukwehlulwa.
Zama ukuthi ungabi nemizwa. Zibuze: “Ungenza kangcono?” Uma impendulo inguyebo, cabanga ngesu lokuzama elinye. Uma unegethivu, yekela lokhu kwehluleka futhi uzibekele umgomo ongafinyeleleka kakhudlwana.
Amathiphu kwabanye
Ngokuvamile umuntu ofisa ukuba "inombolo yokuqala" uzibheka njengesehluleki, "owokuqala kusukela ekugcineni." Into engcono kakhulu ongamenzela yona wukumqinisekisa ukuthi uyigugu kithi kuyena, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi impumelelo kanye nezimpumelelo zingakanani, nokuthi indawo akuyo ezinhliziyweni zethu ngeke iye ndawo.
Kubaluleke kakhulu futhi ukumphazamisa emncintiswaneni waphakade futhi uvule kuye injabulo yezinto ezilula.