Ngine-phobia yangaphambi konyaka omusha

“Ngize ngiphuphe ngisho nendlela engilungiselela ngayo uNyaka Omusha,” kuvuma uLinda oneminyaka engu-41, onguthisha. “Kuthiwani uma ungazithandi izipho?” Hlobo luni lwesidlo sakusihlwa ukupheka? Ingabe abazali bomyeni bazofika? Futhi kuthiwani uma wonke umuntu exabana?" Kulabo abangakwazi ukuziqhayisa ngokuzola ekuphileni kwansuku zonke, amaholide asebusika aba uvivinyo olunzima. "Lapho umfutho wangaphandle unamandla, ukukhathazeka kwangaphakathi kunamandla," kuchaza isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uNatalia Osipova, "futhi iholidi linomsindo, ukuphithizela, izixuku nokulindela okukhulu: phela, uNyaka Omusha kanye ne-spruce ehlala njalo ifanekisela ukuvuselelwa naphakade. ukuphila. Izindleko ziphezulu kakhulu. " Kwabaningi, ngisho kakhulu.

Bangifakela ingcindezi

“Singaphansi kokucindezela okukhulu kwezenhlalo,” kusho isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uJuliette Allais. “Kudinga ukuthi sitshale isikhathi nemali ethinta ukuzethemba kwethu (ingabe ngizokwazi ukwenza yonke into?) kanye nokuzethemba (abanye bazongihlola kanjani?).” Uma ukuzethemba kwethu kubuthakathaka, isidingo sokwenza konke okulungile, okubekwe kithi kokubili ngokukhangisa nabathandekayo bethu, ekugcineni kusincisha ubuthongo. Futhi siyeka ngokwethu ukuthi uNyaka Omusha unzima. Uyenqaba ukugubha? “Imiphumela iyingozi kakhulu: umuntu angabizwa ngokuthi “isihlubuki”, cishe imbuka,” kuphendula uJuliette Allais.

Ngihlukaniswe izingxabano

Unyaka omusha udala izingxabano zangaphakathi ezidala imizwa yecala. “Lo mkhuba wokuba ngowomphakathi,” kuqhubeka umhlaziyi, “uvumela ubudlelwano obuqinile futhi wakhe ukuzethemba: ngoba sinendima yethu siqu emndenini, sikhona.” Kodwa umphakathi wethu uncike kumuntu ngamunye kanye nokuzimela: ukungqubuzana kwangaphakathi kokuqala.

“Iholide lidinga ukuthi sikhululeke futhi sikwazi ukulinda (izivakashi, imikhosi, isidlo sakusihlwa, izipho…). Kodwa unyaka wonke, siye saba imilutha yehlelo lokuphuthuma futhi silahlekelwa amandla okunciphisa: ukungqubuzana kwesibili. "Ekugcineni, kukhona ukungqubuzana phakathi kwezifiso zethu, isidingo sokuqonda, kanye ne-asphalt roller ukuthi la maholide angasidlula." Ikakhulukazi uma imizwa yethu ingahambelani nokukhuphuka okuvamile.

Ngiyayeka ukuba yimi

Imibuthano yomndeni iwumkhosi wokuxoxisana: sigwema izihloko ezibucayi, ukumamatheka futhi sizame ukuba mnandi, okuholela ekudumaleni. "Kunzima kakhulu kulabo okuthe unyaka ophumayo walethe ukwehluleka noma ukulahlekelwa ukubukeka bejabule," kuphawula u-Natalya Osipova. “Ithemba ngekusasa eligcwele umgubho liyabalimaza.” Kodwa ukuze kuzuze iqembu, kufanele sicindezele okuqukethwe kwethu kwangaphakathi. “Lo mgubho wobuntwana usibuyisela esimweni sobungane, asisalingani nathi,” kugcizelela uJuliette Allais. Ukuhlehla kuyasixaka kakhulu size sikhaphele ubuthina bethu, sikhohlwe ukuthi sakhula kudala. Kodwa kuthiwani uma, ngemva kwakho konke, sizama ukuhlala sibadala kulo nyaka omusha?

Okufanele ngikwenze?

1. Shintsha imikhuba yakho

Kuthiwani uma sizivumela izinto ezincane? Akumele ulandele isiko kukho konke. Futhi uNyaka Omusha, naphezu kokubaluleka kwawo, awuseyona indaba yokuphila nokufa. Zibuze ukuthi yini engakunika injabulo. Uhambo oluncane, kusihlwa etiyetha? Zama ukubuyela eholidini incazelo yalo, kude nezwe lokusetshenziswa. Leli yithuba lokujabula nabanye abantu futhi uphinde uxhume (noma udale) ukuxhumana okujabulelayo.

2. Khuluma nobathandayo kusenesikhathi

Ngaphambi kokubuthana etafuleni elivamile, ungahlangana nezihlobo ezithile umuntu oyedwa endaweni epholile nenesibopho. Lokhu kuzokusiza uzizwe ungokwemvelo ngokuzayo. Ngendlela, uma unesithukuthezi nge-monologue yomunye umalume eholidini, ungamtshela ngenhlonipho ukuthi, ngokombono wakho, manje akusona isikhathi esifanele sezambulo ezinjalo.

3. Ziqonde

Unyaka Omusha ubonisa ngokucacile uhlobo lobudlelwane bethu nomndeni. Ingabe uzizwa ukhululekile? Noma ingabe kufanele ulalele okulindelwe abantu obathandayo? Imihlangano nomelaphi ingasiza ekucaciseni indima yakho emndenini. Mhlawumbe ungumzali oyingane onomthwalo wemfanelo wokulingana nokuzwana komndeni. Amalungu omkhaya anjalo anomthwalo wemfanelo omkhulu okungabelwa abanye kangcono.