Umsuka wanoma yiziphi izinkinga zomkhaya ubhekwa njengezinkinga zokukhulumisana phakathi kwendoda nomkayo. Imibhangqwana eshadile ibeka izinkinga zokukhulumisana phezulu ohlwini lwayo lwezimbangela zokungezwani. Kodwa izizathu ziyajula, kusho isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uKelly Flanagan.
Izinkinga zokukhulumisana komkhaya aziyona imbangela, kodwa ziwumphumela wenkinga ethile, ukusabela kuyo. Kodwa abashadile ngokuvamile beza ehhovisi le-psychotherapist ngenhloso ecacile yokuxazulula izinkinga zokuxhumana, hhayi ukuthi yini eyabangela.
Cabanga ngengane ixhashazwa ezinye izingane ebaleni, kwagcina sekuliwa. Phakathi nokulwa, uthisha ufika futhi enze isiphetho esingalungile: umfana ungumshoshozeli, kufanele ajeziswe, nakuba aphendule kuphela ezenzweni zabanye abantu. Kwenzeka okufanayo nasebudlelwaneni bomkhaya. Ubunzima ekukhulumisaneni — umfana ofanayo, kodwa instigators weqiniso «fight».
1. Sishada ngoba sithanda okhethiwe. Kodwa abantu bayashintsha. Cabanga ngalokhu. Uma wehla ngendlela, ungacabangi ngokuthi ungowakuphi manje noma ufuna ukumbona esikhathini esizayo, kodwa ucabange ngalokho ahlose ukuba yikho. Msize kulokhu abe njengoba naye ezokusiza kowakho.
2. Umshado awusona ikhambi lesizungu. Isizungu siyisimo somuntu esingokwemvelo. Umshado awukwazi ukusisusa ngokuphelele, futhi lapho sizizwa, siqala ukusola umlingani wethu noma sifune ukusondelana eceleni. Empilweni yomshado, abantu bamane bahlanganyele isizungu phakathi kwababili, futhi kuleli hlanganiso kuyaphela. Okungenani isikhashana.
3. Umthwalo wehlazo. Sonke siyamdonsa. Esikhathini esiningi sobusha, sizama ukwenza sengathi ayikho, futhi uma uzakwethu ngephutha eletha inkumbulo yokuhlangenwe nakho kwethu kwehlazo, siyabasola ngokubangela lo muzwa ongajabulisi. Kodwa umlingani akahlanganise lutho nakho. Akakwazi ukukulungisa. Kwesinye isikhathi ukwelashwa komndeni okungcono kakhulu kuwukwelashwa komuntu ngamunye, lapho sifunda khona ukusebenza sinamahloni kunokuba sikuveze kulabo esibathandayo.
4. Ego yethu ifuna ukunqoba.. Kusukela ebuntwaneni, i-ego iye yasebenza njengesivikelo kithi, yasiza ukusinda ekuthunjweni namagalelo okudalelwa. Kodwa emshadweni wudonga oluhlukanisa abashadile. Sekuyisikhathi sokuyibhubhisa. Shintshanisa amaqhinga okuzivikela ngobuqotho, impindiselo ngokuthethelela, ukusola ngokuxolisa, amandla okuba sengozini, negunya ngesihe.
5. Impilo jikelele iyinto edidayo, futhi umshado unjalo. Uma izinto zingahambi ngendlela yethu, sivame ukusola umlingani wethu ngakho. Yekani ukukhombana ngeminwe, kungcono nibambane ngezandla nibheke indlela yokuphuma esimeni ndawonye. Khona-ke ningakwazi ukudlula ebuhleni nasebubini ndawonye. Akukho cala noma amahloni.
6. Uzwela lunzima. Ukuzwelana phakathi kwabantu ababili akwenzeki nje, ngokwako. Othile kufanele akubonise kuqala, kodwa lokhu kusesengasona isiqinisekiso sempendulo. Kufanele uthathe izingozi, wenze imihlatshelo. Ngakho-ke, abaningi balinda ukuthi omunye athathe isinyathelo sokuqala. Ngokuvamile, abalingani bama ngokumelene nomunye ngokulindela. Futhi lapho omunye wabo nokho enquma, cishe njalo ungena echibini.
Okufanele sikwenze: labo esibathandayo abaphelele, abasoze baba isibuko sethu esiphelele. Ngeke yini sibathande ngalokho abayikho futhi sibe ngabokuqala ukubonisa uzwela?
7. Sizikhathalela kakhulu izingane zethu.kunalabo ababonga abazalwa kubo. Kodwa izingane akufanele zibaluleke kakhulu noma zibe ngaphansi kunomshado - neze! Esimweni sokuqala, bayozizwa ngokushesha futhi baqale ukuyisebenzisa, bedala ukungezwani phakathi kwethu. Okwesibili, bazozama ukukuthatha. Umndeni uwusesho oluqhubekayo lokulinganisa.
8. Ukulwela amandla okucashile. Izingxabano zomndeni ngokwengxenye ziyizingxoxo mayelana nezinga lokuthembela komunye nomunye kwabashadile. Ngokuvamile amadoda afuna ukuba kuncane. Abesifazane baphambene. Kwesinye isikhathi bashintsha izindima. Uma ubheka ukulwa okuningi, ungabona umbuzo ofihliwe: ngubani onquma ukuthi sinikezana inkululeko engakanani kulobu budlelwano? Uma lo mbuzo ungabuzwa ngokuqondile, uzovusa izingxabano ngokungaqondile.
9. Asisaqondi ukuthi singahlala kanjani sinentshisekelo kokuthile noma kothile uwedwa. Ezweni lanamuhla, ukunaka kwethu kuhlakazekile ezintweni eziyisigidi. Sijwayele ukugxumela phezulu ngaphandle kokuhlolisisa ingqikithi yezinto, futhi siqhubekele phambili lapho sinesithukuthezi. Kungakho ukuzindla kudingekile kakhulu kithina - ubuciko bokuqondisa konke ukunaka kwethu entweni eyodwa, bese kuthi lapho siphazamiseka singathandi, sibuyele kukho kaningi.
Kodwa ngemva kwakho konke, ukuphila emshadweni kungaba ukuzindla ngomuntu esimthandayo. Lokhu kubaluleke kakhulu ukuze inyunyana ibe yinde futhi ijabule.
Umelaphi angafundisa umbhangqwana ukuxhumana ngendlela evamile ngehora. Akunzima. Kodwa kungathatha ukuphila konke ukulwa nezimbangela zangempela zezinkinga zomkhaya.
Nokho impilo isifundisa uthando. Isiphendulela sibe yilabo abakwazi ukuthwala isizungu, abangasabi ihlazo, bakha amabhuloho ezindongeni, bajabulele ithuba lokudideka kuleli zwe elihlanyayo, babeka engcupheni yokuthatha isinyathelo sokuqala futhi bathethelele amathemba angenasisekelo, uthando. wonke umuntu ngokulinganayo, ufuna futhi athole ukuvumelana, futhi futhi uzinikela entweni ethile noma kothile.
Futhi leyompilo ikufanele ukuyilwela.