Okuqukethwe
Abazali abavikela ngokweqile: imuphi umthelela ezinganeni?
“Indodakazi yami ihlale igxumagxuma, nokho nginomuzwa wokuthi ngiyinika yonke into, angiqondi. “Ziningi izinto esizihlelele kulo nyaka kodwa ubukeka edangele, ngani? Sifunda inqwaba nenqwaba yalezi zinhlobo zobufakazi ezingosini zezingxoxo kanye nezinkundla zokuxhumana. Abazali abazwakalisa ukukhathazeka kwabo ngabantwana babo abanomuzwa wokuthi bayanelisa. Omama abakhathazekile, abakhathele sebezoqhuma.
Yiziphi izikhathi ezihlekisayo esiphila kuzo? Abazali namuhla bangaphansi kwengcindezi evela emphakathini okubaphoqa ukuthi baphumelele kuzo zonke izici. Bazizwa benesibopho sokuba abangcono kakhulu emsebenzini wabo futhi bafuna ukuba abazali abayisibonelo. Ukwesaba ukwenza okubi, ukwahlulelwa abanye kuyabakhubaza. Ngokungazi, badlulisela wonke amathemba abo empumelelo ezinganeni zabo. Kodwa ziphelelwa yisikhathi. Ngakho-ke, bedliwe yicala lokungaboni okwanele ngenzalo yabo, balwela ukuphendula futhi balindele imizwelo yabo emincane kanye nezifiso zabo. Akubalwanga kahle...
Izingane ezingasenaso isikhathi sokuphefumula
U-Liliane Holstein uye waqaphela lesi simo iminyaka eminingi emsebenzini wakhe wokuhlaziya ingqondo lapho amukela khona abazali nezingane bedidekile. “Abazali namuhla bathwele kanzima. Bacabanga ukuthi benza kahle ekuhlangabezaneni nazo zonke izidingo ezicatshangwayo zezingane zabo, kodwa empeleni banephutha. Ngokuvikela izingane zabo ngokweqile, zibenza buthaka ngaphezu kwanoma yini enye. “ Ku-psychoanalyst, izingane azisenaso isikhathi sokuphupha ngalokho okungabajabulisa njengoba izifiso zabo zigcwaliseka ngokushesha futhi ngezinye izikhathi zilindelwe. “Lapho othile ekwenzela yonke into, awukakulungeli ukubhekana nokwehluleka noma ngisho nobunzima obulula,” kuqhubeka lo chwepheshe. Izingane azazi ukuthi kuyenzeka ukufeyila zizithole sezilahlekile. Kumele zilungiswe kusukela zisencane. Ujahidada ojikijela into phansi uhlola umuntu omdala. Kumele aqonde ukuthi noma yini ayenzayo, umzali ngeke ahlale ekhona ukuze ayithathe. Lapho sijwayela ingane ukubhekana nokukhungatheka, siyisiza nakakhulu ukuthi ikwazi ukuzimela. Ngeke uyicabange injabulo etholwa ingane lapho ikwazi ukwenza okuthile yodwa. Kunalokho, ngokumsiza, ngokuveza izifiso nezifiso zakhe kuye, sigcina simcindezela. Njengoba nje kungenamsebenzi ukumshukumisa ngokweqile, ukufuna ngazo zonke izindlela ukuthuthukisa amakhono akhe ngokumphoqelela ijubane elimatasatasa ngemisebenzi engapheli.
Ukukhathazeka, ukucindezeleka, intukuthelo ... izimpawu zokungakhululeki
“Iyangihlaba umxhwele indlela izingane ezikhathele ngayo,” kuphawula uLiliane Holstein. Umyalezo abawutholayo wukuthi abasakwazi ukuwuzwa. Abasiqondi lesi sigqi abathweswe sona futhi lokhu kubuka kwabazali kuhlale kugxile kubona. ” Inkinga ukuthi isikhathi esiningi abazali bacabanga ukuthi benza kahle uma bebenzela yonke into noma ukuthi bathatha yonke imizuzu yeshejuli yabo. Isikhathi sokubuza imibuzo Ngokuvamile, kuba yingane ngokwayo ekhala izinsimbi ze-alamu. “Ukuze asuse ukungakhululeki kwakhe, uphoqeleka ukuba aziphathe ngendlela eyeqisayo, ugcizelela isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo. Uqala ukukhala okungokomfanekiso kokuqaphile ngokudangala, ukujabha noma ngokuphambene nobudlova nabazali bakhe. »Ngenye indlela, angaveza ubuhlungu obuphindaphindiwe: ubuhlungu besisu, izinkinga zesikhumba, izinkinga zokuphefumula, ubunzima bokulala.
Abazali banezikhiye zokunqamula umgqigqo
Kulezi zimo, kuyaphuthuma ukusabela. Kodwa uthola kanjani ukulinganisela okufanele: thanda, vikela ingane yakho ngaphandle kokuyicindezela, futhi uyisize ikwazi ukuzimela. “Abazali banamandla okuxazulula izinkinga eziningi ezingokwengqondo ezinganeni zabo uma nje beqaphela ukuba khona kwenkinga,” kuchaza isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo. Lapho bebonisana, bavame ukuqonda ngokushesha ukukhathazeka abakuletha emindenini yabo. ” Ngaphezu kwakho konke, ingane encane idinga ububele, obubalulekile ekulinganiseni kwayo.. Kodwa kufanele futhi simnike isikhala nesikhathi esidingekayo ukuze akwazi ukuphupha futhi aveze ubuhlakani bakhe.