Okuqukethwe
Hyper mothering: intensive mothering in question
Ukuzala okujulile kwabanye, ukuba umama osondelene nabanye … Ukulala ngokuhlanganyela, ukuncelisa ibele isikhathi eside, ukuphatha indwayimane, akubonakali kuyi-epiphenomenon. Ingabe lo mbono wokuba umama uyenelisa ngempela enganeni? Sisuke kanjani esibonelweni sowesifazane okhuthele saya ekuvukeni komama onqobayo? Isihloko esibucayi sokukholelwa ochwepheshe kanye nobufakazi obuningi bomama ababenzayo ...
Ukuba ngumama okujulile, incazelo engacacile
Laba omama “bemvelo” omama abakhethe ukuphila ukukhulelwa kwabo, ukuzalwa komntwana wabo nendlela yabo yokuyifundisa ngegama elilodwa elithi: ukuzinikela ngokuphelele enganeni yabo nasezidingweni zayo. Ukuqiniseka kwabo: isibopho esilukwa nomntwana phakathi nezinyanga zokuqala siyisisekelo esingokomzwelo esingenakuqedwa. Bakholelwa ekunikezeni ingane yabo ukulondeka kwangempela kwangaphakathi, futhi lokhu kuyisihluthulelo sebhalansi yakhe yesikhathi esizayo. Lokhu okuthiwa ukuzala okukhethekile noma okujulile kukhuthaza imikhuba ethile ekhuthaza isibopho esiyingqayizivele “sikamama nengane”. Sithola lapho i-pell-mell: ukucula ngaphambi kokubeletha, ukuzalwa kwemvelo, ukubeletha ekhaya, ukuncelisa ibele sekwephuzile, ukulunyulwa kwemvelo, ukugqokiswa ingane, ukulala ndawonye, isikhumba nesikhumba, amanabukeni awashekayo, ukudla kwemvelo, inhlanzeko yemvelo, imithi ethambile nehlukile, imfundo. ngaphandle kodlame, nezinye izindlela zemfundo ezifana noFreinet, Steiner noma Montessori, ngisho nemfundo yomndeni.
Umama uyafakaza ezinkundleni: “Njengomama wamawele, ngawancelisa ngenjabulo, endaweni ebizwa ngokuthi “impisi ”, elele ngohlangothi embhedeni. Bekukuhle impela. Ngenza okufanayo enganeni yami yesi-3. Umyeni wami uyangeseka kulolu hlelo. Ngike ngahlola nengquza yengane, yinhle futhi iyabathoba izingane. “
Ukusuka ekunakekelweni kwezingane “ngendlela enzima” kuye “kuma-hypermaternantes”
Umkhuba we proximal mothering iye yavela ngaphesheya kwe-Atlantic. Omunye wezibalo ezihamba phambili ngudokotela wezingane waseMelika uWilliam Sears, umbhali wenkulumo ethi "okunamathiselwe komzali". Lo mqondo usekelwe kumbono wokunamathiselwe othuthukiswe nguJohn Bowlby, udokotela wengqondo oyiNgisi kanye nodokotela wengqondo, owashona ngo-1990. okunamathiselwe ingenye yezidingo eziyinhloko zengane encane, njengokudla noma ukulala. Kulapho izidingo zakhe zokusondelana sezihlangatshezwana naso lapho angakwazi ukuqhela esimeni somzali esimvikelayo ukuze ahlole umhlaba. Sekuyiminyaka eyishumi nanhlanu sibona ushintsho : kusukela kumodeli okhuthaza ukuvumela usana ukuba lukhale, lungalufaki embhedeni walo, kancane kancane siye sathuthela kumkhuba ohlukile. Ukuzala ingane, ukuncelisa ibele sekwephuzile noma ukulala ndawonye kunabalandeli abaningi kakhulu.
Umama ufakaza ngesicelo sakhe sokuphendula isithombe esivamile sikamama ongumama: “Ukugoqa, yebo ngikwenzile, ngincelisa ibele, ngilala esikhwameni sokulala yebo futhi, ngaphezu kwalokho, sobabili nobaba, isikhafu cha ngancamela ukuba naso. ezingalweni zami noma engutsheni yami. Ngolimi lwezandla lukhethekile, i-Naïss isemaqenjini amabili "uphawu ngezandla zakho" kanye "nezandla ezincane" zesibili, kanti nokho angisona isithulu noma isimungulu. “
Ukuhlangabezana nezidingo zezingane
Uchwepheshe uClaude Didier Jean Jouveau, owayengumongameli we-Leche League nombhali wezincwadi ezimbalwa ezikhuluma ngokuncelisa ibele, sekuyiminyaka eqonda futhi ebasekela laba omama ababizwa “nge-hyper maternal”. Uyachaza: “Laba omama bamane basabela esidingweni sosana lokuthwalwa nokuphakelwa lapho lufunwa. Angiyiqondi le nto yaseFrance ngenkathi kwamanye amazwe kubonakala kujwayelekile ”. Uqhuba uthi: “Uma ingane yomuntu izalwa siyazi ukuthi ukukhula kwayo akuphelele. Izazi ze-anthropologists ziyibiza ngokuthi "i-ex-utero fetus". Kusengathi ingane yabantu yazalwa singakafiki isikhathi yize empeleni yaphela ngamasonto e-amenorrhea. Uma kuqhathaniswa nenzalo yezilwane, usana lomuntu luzodinga iminyaka emibili lapho luzothola khona ukuzimela, kuyilapho inkonyane ngokwesibonelo lizilawula ngokushesha ngemva kokuzalwa ”.
Thatha ingane yakho ngokumelene nawe, amncelise, yigqoke njalo, igcine iseduze nawe ebusuku… kuyena, lokhu kuzala okuseduze kuyadingeka futhi kubalulekile. Uchwepheshe akaqondi ukungabaza kwabanye ochwepheshe. , “Ngonyaka wokuqala kudingeka kube khona ukuqhubeka ngemva kokukhulelwa, usana kumelwe sizwe ukuthi unina uyalusiza ukuba lukhule”.
Izingozi ze-hypermaternage
USylvain Missonnier, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo kanye noprofesa we-psychopathology yomtholampilo wokunakekelwa kwezibeletho eNyuvesi yaseParis-V-René-Descartes, ugodliwe kakhulu lapho ebhekene nalokhu kuba umama okunzima. Encwadini yakhe ethi “Becoming a parent, born human. I-diagonal ebonakalayo ”eshicilelwe ngo-2009, udalula omunye umbono: kuye, ingane kufanele iphile uchungechungeizilingo zokuhlukana as ukuzalwa, ukulumula, ukuqeqeshwa endlini yangasese, okuyizinyathelo ezibalulekile zokulungiselela ingane ukuthi ithathe ukuzimela kwayo. Lo mbhali uthatha isibonelo "sesikhumba esikhumbeni" esenziwe isikhathi eside kakhulu, esithathwa njengebhuleki ekufundeni okuyisisekelo kwezingane, lokho kokuhlukana. Kuye, inqubo yemfundo ayinakuba khona ngaphandle kokubeka lokhu kuhlukaniswa esivivinyweni. Eminye imikhuba ibuye iveze ingozi engokomzimba. Ukulala ndawonye ngokwesibonelo, okwandisa ingozi yokufa kungazelelwe lapho ingane ilele embhedeni wabazali. I-French Pediatric Society ikhumbula ngale ndaba imikhuba emihle yokulala kwezinsana: ngemuva, esikhwameni sokulala kanye nombhede ongenalutho ngangokunokwenzeka kumatilasi oqinile. Ochwepheshe nabo bakhathazekile ngezigameko ezimbalwa zokufa okuzumayo ezenzeke ngesikhathi ingane ithwelwe ngendwayimane.
Abanye omama bafakaza ngentshiseko ngokumelene nale mikhuba ezinkundleni hhayi kuphela ngengozi ebulalayo engase ibe khona yokulala ndawonye: “Angizange ngilusebenzise lolu hlobo lwendlela futhi ngisho nokuncane “ukulala ndawonye”. Ukwenza ingane ilale embhedeni owodwa nabazali ukunikeza izingane imikhuba emibi. Wonke umuntu unombhede wakhe, indodakazi yami inowakhe nathi sinowethu. Ngicabanga ukuthi kungcono ukugcina ukusondelana kombhangqwana. Igama elithi umama engxenye yami ngiyalithola liyinqaba, ngoba leli gama alibandakanyi ngokuphelele ubaba futhi kungesinye sezizathu ezenza ngingancelisi. “
Isimo sabesifazane ku-hypermaternage
Lesi sihloko siphakamisa imibuzo mayelana nemiphumela yale mikhuba, ethinta kakhulu omama, esimweni esijwayelekile sabesifazane. Obani omama abayengwa yi umama ojulile ? Abanye babo baneziqu futhi bavame ukushiya umhlaba wokusebenza belandela a ilivu yokubeletha. Bachaza ukuthi kunzima kanjani kubo ukuvumelanisa impilo yomndeni wabo nezingqinamba zomsebenzi kanye nombono onzima kakhulu wokuba ngumama neminye imisebenzi. Ingabe lesi isinyathelo sokuhlehla njengoba kwasho u-Elisabeth Badinter encwadini yakhe ethi “The conflict: the woman and the mother” eyanyatheliswa ngo-2010? Isazi sefilosofi sigxeka a inkulumo yokusabela okuvalela abesifazane endimeni yabo njengomama, ngokwesibonelo nalokho akubheka njenge-diktat ephathelene nokuncelisa. Ngakho-ke isazi sefilosofi sigxeka imodeli yomama elayishwe izinto eziningi ezilindelwe, izithiyo, nezibopho kwabesifazane.
Ngempela singazibuza ukuthi ngezinga elingakanani labomama “abanamandla” abafuni ukubalekela izwe lomsebenzi elibhekwa njengokucindezelayo futhi elingavuzi kangako, futhi elingasicabangeli ngokwanele isimo sabo somama. Ukuba ngumama we-hyper okuhlangenwe nakho ngendlela njengesiphephelo ezweni elibucayi futhi eligcwele ukungaqiniseki.