Okuqukethwe
Ukuzama ukuqonda ozakwethu, kwesinye isikhathi sizahlulela ngokwethu. Futhi lokhu kuyiphutha, kusho isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo u-Alexander Shakhov. Ungalindeli ukuthi ukusabela kwamadoda kufane nokwabesifazane. Izincazelo nezeluleko zochwepheshe zizosiza labo abafuna ukuqondana ebudlelwaneni.
Izinganekwane zifundisa amantombazane ukuthi into esemqoka ukuhlangana "nalowo". Kodwa ubudlelwano kusadingeka bugcinwe futhi buthuthukiswe. Futhi akusekho muntu ofundisa lokhu: akukho zinganekwane, akukho ogogo, akukho sikole. Ngakho ukudumazeka njalo. Indlela yokugwema kubo? Ngokusekelwe kokuhlangenwe nakho kwami kokusebenza nabashadile, ngizonikeza izeluleko ezimbili.
1. Khumbula ukuthi indoda iphambene nawe ngokuphelele.
Ngiyazi ukuthi kunzima ukukwamukela. Izwi elingaphakathi likuhlebela: “Hhayi-ke, awukho umehluko omkhulu kangaka phakathi kwethu, ngoba nazo zinezindlebe ezimbili nezitho ezicishe zifane. Kodwa sihluke ngokuphawulekayo komunye nomunye ngaphandle, futhi isakhiwo sethu sangaphakathi sihluke kakhulu kangangokuthi ukuqhathanisa okufanelekile "kumnyama nokumhlophe"
Mangaki amaphutha abengagwenywa, mingaki imishado ebingasindiswa, ukube abesifazane (namadoda nawo) bebesebenzisa ukuhlakanipha kwezwe okugugile kodwa okufanelekile: “awuzihluleli wena ngokwakho”!
Ungalindeli "okuvamile" ukuziphatha kwabesilisa, ngoba ngokuthi "okuvamile" abesifazane kusho "okuqondakalayo yinoma yimuphi owesifazane." Tadisha kangcono laba «abafokazi». Umqondo wamadoda wokuziphatha awunqunywa ukuziphatha okuphansi noma ukukhuliswa okubi, kodwa isenzo sama-molecule amancane abizwa ngokuthi amahomoni.
Ezimweni lapho owesifazane ezwa uzwela (i-oxytocin inesibopho salokhu), indoda ayizizwa (ikati lakhala ku-oxytocin yakhe). Lapho esaba (i-adrenaline: i-vasoconstriction, impendulo yendiza; ekhiqizwa lapho i-testosterone iphansi), uyathukuthela (i-norepinephrine: i-vasodilation, impendulo yokuhlasela; ekhiqizwa kakhulu lapho i-testosterone iphezulu).
Iphutha elikhulu labesifazane ukulindela ukuthi ukusabela kowesilisa kuzofana nowesifazane. Uma ukuqondisisa lokhu, kuzoba lula kuwe ukuzwana namadoda.
2. Lahla ulwazi lwakho lwangaphambilini
Futhi nakakhulu lahla ezomunye umuntu. UBernard Shaw wathi: “Ukuphela komuntu owenza ngokunengqondo kwakungumthungi wami. Wangilinganisa futhi njalo lapho engibona, kuyilapho bonke abanye beza kimi ngezilinganiso ezindala, belindele ukuthi ngizifanise nazo.
Inhloso yobuchopho bomuntu ukuhlaziya imvelo, ukuthola amaphethini nokwakha ukusabela okuzinzile. Ngamanye amazwi, sakha amaphethini, ama-stereotypes ngokushesha okukhulu. Kodwa akukho okuzosebenza uma usebenzisa isipiliyoni esizuzwe ebudlelwaneni obudlule, noma, okubi nakakhulu, isipiliyoni sezintombi zakho, omama, ogogo kanye "nochwepheshe bethelevishini" ebuhlotsheni bakho.
Indoda yakho yamanje ayifani ne ex yakho. Amadoda awafani (nabesifazane awafani, kodwa nawe uyakwazi lokho). Zama ukubheka umlingani wakho njengomuntu wangaphandle ovela kwelinye izwe (futhi mhlawumbe evela kwenye iplanethi). Ungajahi ukuya eziphethweni.
Ithuluzi lakho elikhulu lokuxhumana umbuzo othi "Kungani?". Akunikezwanga ngesimangalo, kodwa ngentshisekelo, inhlonipho kanye nesifiso sokuqonda isizathu, ukufunda nokwamukela umbono womunye.