Ungasinda kanjani isehlukaniso esinzima: Amathiphu ama-5

“Uma uke waba nobudlelwano obunzima nowakwakho, cishe unethemba lokuthi isehlukaniso sizokukhulula. Ngakho-ke, izinga lokucindezeleka eliyohambisana nenqubo yesehlukaniso lizokumangalisa,” kusho umelaphi womndeni waseCalifornia uKrysta Dancy. Uzozizwa ukhathele ngokuphelele, uzohlushwa ukukhathazeka nokucindezeleka.

“Uzoqala ukungabaza ukulunga kwesinqumo sakho,” kusho umelaphi womndeni u-Amy Broz. Ngokuvamile lokhu kuba yimiphumela yobudlova basekhaya emshadweni. U-Amy Broz uthi: “Kuvamile ukuba amakhasimende ami athole ukudivosa kunzima ngenxa yokuthi aye axhashazwa ngokomzimba, ngokwengqondo, noma ngokomzwelo kwabashade nabo emshadweni wabo.

Sihlala kanjani sizolile lapho isehlukaniso siguqula izimpilo zethu? Nawa amathiphu amahlanu avela ku-Christa Dancy no-Amy Broz.

1. Dala “indawo engenasehlukaniso”

Ucabanga ukuthi isehlukaniso sidinga ukunakwa njalo? Noma ingabe unomuzwa wokuthi udinga ukuhlala uqaphile? UChrista Dancy uthi: “Abantu abaningi bayesaba ukugwema izingxabano ngoba bacabanga ukuthi kuzonikeza lowo owayeshade naye uhlobo oluthile lokunqoba ngokuziphatha.

Phezu kwalokho (sibonga ubuchwepheshe besimanje) kukhona ama-imeyili nemiyalezo engapheli. Uma uxhumeke njalo, akunakwenzeka ukuphumula. Ngenxa yalesi sizathu, ngokusho kukaDancy, "isehlukaniso sidla impilo yakho yonke." Akumangalisi ukuthi uhlale ucindezelekile futhi ukhathazekile.

Kubalulekile ukubeka imingcele enempilo. “Udivosa ukuze nje lo muntu abe nethonya elincane empilweni yakho, uyakhumbula? Ngokuhlala uhileleka ezingxabanweni nowayeshade naye, uyaqhubeka nokulondoloza ubuhlobo naye, ”kusho uChrista Dancy.

Isho ukuthini “indawo engenasehlukaniso” ekusebenzeni? U-Dancy weluleka ukuthi ubeke eceleni amahora athile lapho uzobhekana nezinkinga zedivosi - lesi kube yisikhathi lapho ulungele kahle ngokwengqondo nangokomzwelo ukwenza imisebenzi edingekayo. Hhayi-ke, ngezikhathi zokungcebeleka kungcono ukuvala ifoni bese uvala izaziso zemiyalezo.

2. Nquma ngezinhloso zakho futhi uthathe isinyathelo

Yini ofuna ukuyizuza ngedivosi? Ubukeka kanjani umphumela wakho omuhle? UDancy utusa ukwenza uhlu lwemigomo nezinto eziza kuqala futhi singanaki imininingwane engabalulekile engase ibe imbangela yamahlazo. Isibonelo, okubaluleke kakhulu kuwe kungaba:

- dala uhlelo olungokoqobo olunquma ukuthi ubani futhi nini ozobhekana nengane, imyise esikoleni / ekhaya,

- qedela inqubo yesehlukaniso ngokushesha futhi ngaphandle kobuhlungu ngangokunokwenzeka,

- ukubuyisela ukuthula, ukuthula kanye nemingcele efanele empilweni yakho.

Lapho kuphakama ingxabano elandelayo, zibuze: “Ingabe lokhu kungqubuzana kungisondeza ekufinyeleleni imigomo yami noma kungisusa?” Ngale ndlela ungagwema ukungena ezimpini ezincane (okuzofaka isiphithiphithi empilweni yakho) futhi wonge amandla akho kulokho okubaluleke ngempela. Ungavumi ukunqotshwa imizwa engemihle futhi uhlole ngokucophelela ukuthi ngabe uhamba ngendlela oyidingayo yini.

3. Funda ukuphumula

Thola izindlela zokuphumula zokukusiza wehlise umoya futhi uqede ingcindezi noma kunini, noma kuphi. Noma ngabe izindlela ezijulile zokuphumuza imisipha noma ukuzindla, kunamavidiyo amaningi okufundisa ku-Youtube. Bhalisela i-yoga, hamba ngezinyawo ngemva komsebenzi, thola isilwane esifuywayo, noma thola umsebenzi wokuzilibazisa owuthandayo.

4. Nquma ukuthi ukhetha luphi uhlobo lokuxhumana (nowawushade naye).

Nquma ukuthi uzizwa ukhululekile kanjani ukuxhumana kungomunye wemingcele ebalulekile oyibekayo. Ngokwesibonelo, ungase unqume ukuxhumana nowayeshade naye nge-imeyili kuphela kusukela manje kuqhubeke. “Ngaleyo ndlela ungakwazi njalo ukulungiselela ngokwengqondo kusenesikhathi futhi ucabange ngempendulo yakho,” kusho uDancy. Kungase futhi kukufanelekele ukuyeka ukuxhumana naye ngemiyalezo yombhalo. “Ukuxhumana ngombhalo kuvame ukuba umthombo wokungqubuzana nokungezwani, futhi akwenzeki ukuthi uthathe ikhefu kukho ngisho nasebusuku kakhulu nasebusuku.”

5. Phatha i-ex yakho njengozakwenu "onzima".

Uma unobudlelwano obuqinile nozakwenu, kufanele nisebenzisane, kodwa ningakwazi ukukhawulela ukuxhumana nje kwezamabhizinisi, kusho uDancy. Lokhu kusho ukuthi uphendula yonke imibuzo, izicelo kanye nezicelo ngokucacile futhi ngokuqondile, futhi ungakunaki konke okunye.

Ibukeka kanjani ekusebenzeni? Ake sithi lowo owawushade naye ukubhalele umlayezo wokuthi ubani futhi nini ozozilanda izingane, kuyilapho engamelani nokugwazwa okumbalwa kuwe. Ukuze ungangeni kwenye ingxabano, phendula kuphela umbuzo ophathelene nezingane. Khumbula ukuthi ukucela usizo nokusekelwa kuyinto evamile ngokuphelele, sonke siyakudinga ngezikhathi ezithile, futhi ikakhulukazi phakathi nezikhathi ezinzima kangaka.

“Ngezinye izikhathi kuyasiza ukuthola umelaphi oqeqeshiwe ongakusiza ubhekane nesehlukaniso esinzima,” kusho uBroz. Khumbula ukuthi impilo yakho nenhlalakahle yinto ebaluleke kakhulu.