Sitshela abantu kanye nathi ngezindaba zokuphila kwethu—mayelana nokuthi singobani, kwenzekani kithi, nokuthi umhlaba unjani. Ebudlelwaneni obusha obusha, sikhululekile ukukhetha ukuthi yini esingakhuluma ngayo nokuthi yini engeyiyo. Yini eyenza siphindaphinde okubi ngokuphindaphindiwe? Phela, indaba yokuphila, ngisho nenzima kakhulu, ingaxoxwa ngendlela yokuthi izosinika amandla, iphefumule, hhayi ukuthukuthela noma iphenduke isisulu.
Bambalwa abaqaphelayo ukuthi izindaba esizixoxayo mayelana nesikhathi esidlule zishintsha ikusasa lethu. Zakha imibono nemibono, zibe nomthelela ekukhetheni, izenzo ezengeziwe, ezigcina zinquma ikusasa lethu.
Isihluthulelo sokuphila ngaphandle kokucasuka kukho konke ukuhlehla ukuthethelelwa, kusho u-Tracey McMillan, umbhali wezengqondo othengiswa kakhulu futhi owine Indondo Ye-Writingers Guild of America for Outstanding Writing for a Psychological Series. Funda ukucabanga ngendlela ehlukile futhi ukhulume ngokwenzeka empilweni yakho - ikakhulukazi ngezenzakalo ezibangela ukukhungatheka noma intukuthelo.
Unamandla aphelele endabeni yakho. Ngokungangabazeki, abanye abantu bazozama ukukukholisa ukuthi wamukele inguqulo yabo yalokho okwenzekile, kodwa ukukhetha kungokwakho. UTracey McMillan ulandisa ukuthi lokhu kwenzeka kanjani empilweni yakhe.
Tracy Macmillan
Indaba yempilo yami (isimo #1)
“Ngakhuliswa ngabazali abangikhulisayo. Ngaphambi kokuba ngiqale ukudala indaba yami yokuphila, yayibukeka kanje. Ngazalwa. Umama, uLinda, wangishiya. Ubaba, uFreddie, waya ejele. Futhi ngadlula ochungechungeni lwemikhaya yokutholwa, ngaze ngagcina ngizinze emkhayeni omuhle, lapho ngahlala khona iminyaka emine.
Wabuya ubaba, wangithatha, wangisusa kulowo mndeni wayohlala naye nentombi yakhe. Ngokushesha ngemva kwalokho, waphinde wanyamalala, futhi ngahlala nentombi yakhe ngaze ngaba neminyaka engu-18, okwakungelula neze ukuhlala nayo.
Shintsha umbono wakho ngendaba yakho yokuphila futhi intukuthelo izonyamalala ngokwemvelo.
Umbono wami ngempilo wawumangalisa futhi uhambisana nenguqulo yendaba yami yangemva kwesikole samabanga aphezulu: «Tracey M.: Ongafunwa, Engathandwa, Futhi Onesizungu.
Ngangibathukuthelele kakhulu uLinda noFreddie. Babengabazali abanenhliziyo embi futhi bengiphatha kabi nangokungalungi. Kulungile?
Cha, akulungile. Ngoba lokhu kuwumbono owodwa nje wamaqiniso. Nansi inguqulo ebuyekeziwe yendaba yami.
Indaba yempilo yami (isimo #2)
“Ngazalwa. Lapho ngikhula kancane, ngabuka ubaba, ngokungananazi, owayeyisidakwa, ebuka umama owayengilahlile, futhi ngathi kimi: “Yebo, ngingenza kangcono kunabo.”
Ngaphuma esikhumbeni sami futhi ngemva kwemizamo eminingana engaphumelelanga, lapho ngafunda khona ulwazi oluningi oluwusizo mayelana nokuphila nabantu, ngakwazi ukungena emndenini omnandi kakhulu wompristi wamaLuthela.
Wayenenkosikazi nezingane ezinhlanu, futhi lapho ngathola ukunambitha ukuphila kwesigaba esiphakathi, ngafunda esikoleni esikhulu esizimele, futhi ngaphila lokho kuphila okunokuthula, okuzinzile engangingeke ngibe nakho noLinda noFreddie.
Ngaphambi kokuba ngibe nokungezwani kwami kwentsha nalaba bantu abamangalisayo kodwa abalondoloza kakhulu, ngagcina ngisekhaya lomuntu wesifazane owangibonisa imibono eminingi eqinile kanye nomhlaba wobuciko futhi - mhlawumbe okubaluleke kakhulu - wangivumela ukuthi ngibukele i-TV amahora amaningi, ngaleyo ndlela ngilungiselela isizinda somsebenzi wami wamanje njengombhali wethelevishini.”
Zama ukubheka yonke imicimbi ngendlela ehlukile: ungase ukwazi ukushintsha ukugxila
Qagela ukuthi iyiphi inguqulo yale movie enesiphetho esihle?
Qala ukucabanga ngokuthi ungayibhala kanjani kabusha indaba yakho yempilo. Naka iziqephu lapho ubusezinhlungwini ezinkulu: ukwehlukana okungajabulisi ngemva kwekolishi, uchungechunge olude lwesizungu eminyakeni yakho engu-30, ubungane obuwubuwula, ukudumazeka okukhulu komsebenzi.
Zama ukubheka zonke izehlakalo ngendlela ehlukile: ungase ukwazi ukugudluza ukugxilisa ingqondo futhi ungatholi isipiliyoni esinamandla esingajabulisi. Futhi uma ukwazi ukuhleka ngesikhathi esifanayo, kungcono kakhulu. Zivumele udale!
Lena impilo yakho futhi uphila kanye kuphela. Shintsha umbono wakho wendaba yakho, bhala kabusha isikripthi sempilo yakho ukuze sikugcwalise ngogqozi namandla amasha. Intukuthelo eyisisekelo izoshabalala ngokwemvelo.
Uma okuhlangenwe nakho okudala kubuya futhi, zama ukungakunaki — kubalulekile kuwe ukuthi udale indaba entsha. Akulula ekuqaleni, kodwa maduze uzobona ukuthi izinguquko ezinhle ziqala ukwenzeka empilweni yakho.