Kunezithiyo eziningi endleleni yokufezekisa ubuciko. Kwabaningi bethu, okubi kakhulu kwalokhu "umgxeki wethu wangaphakathi." Inomsindo, iqinile, ingakhathali futhi iyakholisa. Uza nezizathu eziningi zokuthi kungani kungafanele sibhale, sidwebe, sithwebule, sidlale izinsimbi zomculo, sidanse, futhi ngokuvamile sizame ukuqaphela amandla ethu okudala. Indlela yokunqoba lesi sihluthulelo?
“Mhlawumbe kungcono ukuzilolonga kwezemidlalo? Noma udle. Noma lala… akunangqondo noma kunjalo, awazi ukuthi kwenziwa kanjani noma yini. Uzama ukukhohlisa bani, akekho onendaba nokuthi ufuna ukuthini ngobuhlakani bakho!” Lizwakala kanje izwi lomgxeki wangaphakathi. ngokwencazelo yomculi, umqambi kanye nomdwebi uPeter Himmelman. Ngokusho kwakhe, yileli zwi elingaphakathi elimvimbela kakhulu phakathi nenqubo yokudala. UPetru waze wamqamba igama — Marv (Marv — short to Majorly Afraid of Revealing Vulnerability — «Ukwesaba kakhulu ukukhombisa ubuthakathaka»).
Mhlawumbe umgxeki wakho wangaphakathi naye uhleba into efanayo. Mhlawumbe uhlala enesizathu sokuthi kungani manje akusona isikhathi sokuqamba. Kungani kungcono ukugeza izitsha nokulenga izingubo. Kungani kungcono ukuyeka ngaphambi kokuthi uqale? Phela, umbono wakho awukabi owokuqala. Futhi nawe awuyena uchwepheshe. Kodwa awazi lutho!
Ngisho noma umgxeki wakho ekhuluma okuhlukile, kulula kakhulu ukuwela ngaphansi kwethonya lakhe.
Kulula ukumvumela alawule izenzo zethu. Cindezela ubuhlakani, injabulo, isifiso sokudala, uziveze futhi wabelane ngemicabango nemibono nomhlaba. Futhi konke ngoba sikholelwa ukuthi umgxeki ukhuluma iqiniso. Iqiniso elimsulwa.
Ngisho noma umgxeki wakho ongaphakathi esho okungenani uhlamvu lweqiniso, akudingekile ukuba umlalele.
Kodwa noma ngabe amazwi omhloli aqukethe okungenani uhlamvu lweqiniso, awudingi ukulalela! Awudingi ukuyeka ukubhala, ukudala, ukwenza. Akumele uthathe ngokungathi sína ukugxeka kwakho kwangaphakathi. Ungamphatha ngokudlalayo noma ngendlela exakayo (lesi simo sengqondo siphinde sibe usizo enqubweni yokudala).
Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, uPeter Himmelman waqaphela ungathini kumgxeki wakho wangaphakathi into efana nokuthi “Marv, ngiyabonga ngezeluleko. Kodwa manje ngizohlala phansi ngibhale ihora noma amabili, bese ngifika futhi ungicasula ngendlela othanda ngayo ”(Kuhle, akunjalo? Kushiwo ngokuqinile futhi kusiza ukukhulula. Kubonakala njengempendulo elula, kodwa ngesikhathi esifanayo. isikhathi asikho). U-Himmelman waqaphela ukuthi uMarv wayengeyena ngempela isitha. Futhi “izimangaliso” zethu zizama ukusiphazamisa ngezisusa ezinhle.
Ukwesaba kwethu kudala umhloli oza nezizathu ezingapheli zokungabi nobuchule.
“Ngabona ukuthi uMarv akazami ukugxambukela emizamweni yamiukuthi lokhu kuwukusabela kokuzivikela okudalwa indawo ye-limbic yobuchopho bomuntu oyi-uXNUMXbuXNUMXbour. Uma inja egayayo ibisijaha, bekungaba uMarv “ozobhekana” nokukhishwa kwe-adrenaline, okudingeka kakhulu kithi esimweni esiphuthumayo.
Uma senza okuthile okusisongela “ngokulimala” okungokwengqondo (ngokwesibonelo, ukugxeka okusilimazayo), uMarv uzama futhi ukusivikela. Kodwa uma ufunda ukuhlukanisa phakathi kokwesaba izinsongo zangempela (njengenja ebomvu) nokukhathazeka okungenangozi mayelana nokululazeka okuncane okungenzeka, khona-ke izwi eliphazamisayo lizothuliswa. Futhi singabuyela emsebenzini,” kusho uPeter Himmelman.
Ukwesaba kwethu kudala i-censor ukuqhamuka nezizathu ezingapheli zokungabi wubuciko. Kuyini ukwesaba ukugxekwa? Yehlulekile? Ukwesaba ukungashicilelwa? Yini ebizwa ngomlingisi omaphakathi?
Mhlawumbe udala ngoba nje ujabulela inqubo ngokwayo. Uletha injabulo. Injabulo emsulwa. Isizathu esihle kakhulu
Lapho umgxeki wangaphakathi eqala ukuthukuthela, vuma ukuthi ukhona. Ziqaphele izinhloso zakhe. Mhlawumbe ngisho umbonge uMarv wakho njengoba kwenza u-Himmelman. Zama ukwenza amahlaya ngakho. Yenza lokho okubona kulungile. Bese ubuyela ekudaleni. Ngoba umgxeki wangaphakathi ngokuvamile akaqondi ukujula, ukubaluleka, namandla esifiso sakho sokudala.
Mhlawumbe ubhala okuthile okuzobaluleke kakhulu ukuba umuntu akufunde. Noma dala okuthile okuzosiza abantu bangahlushwa isizungu. Mhlawumbe wenza okuthile okuzokusiza ukuthi uziqonde kangcono wena noma umhlaba wakho. Noma mhlawumbe udala ngoba uthanda inqubo ngokwayo. Uletha injabulo. Injabulo emsulwa. Isizathu esihle kakhulu.
Ngamanye amazwi, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kungani udala, ungayeki.Qhubekani ngomoya ofanayo!