Izindaba ziyashintsha, kodwa ingqikithi ihlala injalo - amaqhawe noma amaqhawekazi enoveli elandelayo awenzi ukuphila kwethu kujabulise noma kuzinze, kodwa asenza sihlupheke. Uma sihlala sikhetha laba balingani, khona-ke cishe sesiyimilutha yohlobo oluthile lobudlelwano, kusho isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uSusan Daggis-White.
Ucwaningo lobuchopho lubonisa ukuthi ukulutheka kunoma iyiphi inqubo, kungaba ukugembula, ukudla okungalawuleki noma ubudlelwano obungenampilo, kusithinta ngendlela efanayo.
Okokuqala, injabulo iqala ukuhlotshaniswa kakhulu nesenzo esithile. Kamuva, sizama ukubuyisela umuzwa wethu wenjabulo, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kubiza malini. Futhi uma ubuchopho bufunda isimo sesiphithiphithi esibhubhisayo njengesifiseleka kakhulu, buyolwela ngenkani ngokuphindaphindiwe. Lokhu kuqala isondo lokulutheka, elizuza umfutho ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.
Qaphela ukulutheka
Uma sihlala sikhetha umuntu ongalungile, kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuthi kungani ubuchopho bunquma njengekhandidethi eliphumelele kakhulu. Uma sesiziqonda lezi zizathu, kuzoba lula ukuqeda umlutha futhi ungaphinde uwele kukho. Mhlawumbe lokhu kusikhumbuza imizwelo esasinayo siseyingane noma sisakhula.
Uma isikhathi eside singanakwa futhi sihlaziswa, siqala ukukuthatha ngaphakathi.
Okuxakayo ukuthi ubuchopho buchaza ngokushesha imizwa nemizwelo eyaziwa kakhulu njengelungile futhi iphephile: ngisho naleyo engazange isenze sijabule. Ubuchopho, njengokungathi, buye benza "umsebenzi emaphutheni", buhlaziye ubudlelwano obubalulekile kithi, bakhumbula umbhalo, futhi manje buphendula kuphela emihlanganweni nalabo abathembisa ukuphindaphinda kokuhlangenwe nakho okuthi, ngenxa yezizathu ezihlukahlukene, bathanda kakhulu.
Uma sesiside isikhathi singanakwa futhi sithotshiswe isithunzi, thina noma singavumelani nalesi simo, siqala ukukuthatha kancane ngaphakathi. Cabanga ukuthi kungcono ukubhekana nokungakhululeki kwemikhuba emisha yokuziphatha kunokuhlala ngokukhohlisa ngokulondeka.
Nazi izinyathelo ezine zokusiza ubuchopho ukuthi buguqule i-stereotype eqhubekayo:
1. Cabanga ngabo bonke ubudlelwano obungathokozile kubo. Thembeka kuwe ngokwakho futhi uzame ukuhlaziya lokho okubonakala kukukhanga kakhulu kubantu ongazange uhambisane nabo.
2. Uma njengamanje usenyunyaneni enilimazayo, ukuzihlanganisa nogwayi kuzokusiza. Akunakwenzeka ukuyeka ukubhema uze wazi ngokuqinisekile ukuthi iphakethe le-nicotine liyakulinga ephaketheni lakho. Awusoze wakhululeka ngaphandle kokuthi ukhiphe lokho okufaka ushevu kancane kancane empilweni yakho, kungaba ugwayi noma umfelandawonye nomuntu. Cabanga ngezindlela zokuphuma ebudlelwaneni obunobuthi kuwe.
3. Zikhumbuze ukuthi izidingo zakho zibaluleke njengezomlingani wakho. Kungaba kuhle ukuwabeka ephepheni. Impela ufuna ukuthi izifiso zakho zihlonishwe, amazwi akho azwakale, abongwe, akhathazeke ngawe, athembeke kuwe.
4. Ukushintsha izidingo zobuchopho obuphendula ngokukhetha kuphela kulobo budlelwano lapho bubi khona akulula kangako. Nokho, ingabuye iqeqeshwe kancane kancane. Uma uhlangana nomuntu omusha ombona njengongaba umlingani wakho, qala uqalise futhi ugubhe—noma okungcono nakakhulu, ubhale phansi—iziqephu ezingaphindi okuhlangenwe nakho kwangaphambilini.
Ngokwesibonelo, utshele umuntu ngalokho okukucasule ngokuziphatha kwakhe, ungesabi ukumethusa. Naxoxa ngalokho okwenzekile, futhi wasabela ngokuqonda kulokhu. Waba nesikhathi esinzima, futhi wamsekela (ngezenzo noma ngezwi). Akazange athule, kodwa ukutshele ukuthi kubaluleke kangakanani ukuhlanganyela kwakho kuye.
Ubudlelwano Detox
Kuzodinga ukuzithiba ukuze uzikhiphe enkingeni yokuthatheka ngabantu abakwenza uhlupheke. Konke kufana nohlelo lokuqeda noma yikuphi okunye umlutha. Ngokwesibonelo, ukuze unqobe umkhuba wokudla ukucindezeleka, kubalulekile ukuthi ungagcini ukudla okukhuthaza ukuphindelela esiqandisini.
Ngendlela efanayo, kuyadingeka ukuzikhulula kunoma yiziphi izinto zobuciko ezihlotshaniswa nomuntu onobuhlobo obulimazayo kuwe. Vumela okungenani isikhashana noma yiziphi izikhumbuzo zakhe: izithombe, izincwadi, okuthunyelwe ezinkundleni zokuxhumana - zisuswe emkhakheni wakho wombono.
Akulula kangako ukuyeka ngokuphelele lokho okusilethele injabulo, ngisho noma siwazi umonakalo obangelwa ukulutheka.
Lolu uhlobo lwe-detox yengqondo nengokomzwelo ukuze ukhulule indawo yangaphakathi futhi uqale ukuyigcwalisa ngezinye, izinjabulo ezinempilo. Ngisho noma ngezinye izikhathi umlutha uzokubuyisela isikhala sakho, ungazishayi futhi ubuyele ezikhundleni zakho zangaphambilini. Lesi futhi isigaba semvelo sokukhululeka kuso. Isibonelo, uzoqala ukufunda ama-imeyili e-ex yakho futhi noma ubhale umlayezo.
Ngokuyeka imikhuba yangaphambili kanye nezikhumbuzo zobudlelwane obungajabulisi, wengeza injabulo eyengeziwe nokuqwashisa empilweni yakho. Vuselela ubungane nalabo ababethandeka futhi bethakazelisa kuwe, buyela kuleyo misebenzi eyakuthanda ngempela.
Iba nesineke
Uma ukhuluma nomuntu owayekade ebhema kakhulu wabe eseyeka, cishe uyovuma ukuthi usenezikhathi afuna ngazo ukubhema. Akulula ukuyeka ngokuphelele okuletha injabulo, ngisho noma siqaphela umonakalo obangelwa ukulutheka.
Kungase kungathathi inyanga noma ngisho unyaka ukwakha kabusha umshini wangaphakathi futhi uqale ukuvumela labo abawufanelekela ukuphila. Zinike isikhathi, thembeka kuwena futhi ukunake ukuhlangana nabantu abasha ababa nentshisekelo kuwe.