Iminyaka yesikole iyithinta kanjani impilo yabantu abadala? Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo sibheka ukuthi yini evela kokuhlangenwe nakho kwasebusheni okusisiza ukuba sithuthukise amakhono obuholi.
Ngivame ukucela amaklayenti ami ukuthi akhulume ngeminyaka yawo yesikole. Lezi zinkumbulo zisiza ukufunda okuningi mayelana ne-interlocutor ngesikhathi esifushane. Phela, indlela yethu yokubona umhlaba nokusebenza kwayo yakhiwa eminyakeni engu-7-16. Iyiphi ingxenye yokuhlangenwe nakho kwethu kwentsha enethonya elinamandla isimilo sethu? Zithuthukiswa kanjani izimfanelo zobuholi? Ake sibheke izici ezimbalwa ezibalulekile ezithinta ukukhula kwazo:
Ukuhamba
Ukulangazelela okuhlangenwe nakho okusha kukhula ngenkuthalo enganeni engaphansi kweminyaka engu-15 ubudala. Uma ngalesi sikhathi kungekho sithakazelo sokufunda izinto ezintsha, khona-ke esikhathini esizayo umuntu uzohlala enelukuluku, elondolozayo, enomqondo omncane.
Abazali bahlakulela ilukuluku enganeni. Kodwa okuhlangenwe nakho kwesikole nakho kubaluleke kakhulu: uhambo, ukuhamba ngezinyawo, ukuvakashela iminyuziyamu, amathiyetha. Kwabaningi bethu, konke lokhu kubonakale kubaluleke kakhulu. Lapho umuntu eba nemibono ecace ngokwengeziwe phakathi neminyaka yakhe yesikole, kulapho evuleka khona futhi nombono wakhe uguquguquka ngokwengeziwe. Lokhu kusho ukuthi kulula kuye ukuthi athathe izinqumo ezingajwayelekile. Yile mfanelo ehlonishwayo kubaholi banamuhla.
Umsebenzi womphakathi
Abaningi, lapho bekhuluma ngeminyaka yabo yesikole, bagcizelela ukufaneleka kwabo kwezenhlalakahle: "Ngangiyinduna", "Ngangiyiphayona elikhuthele", "Ngangingusihlalo weqembu". Bakholelwa ukuthi umsebenzi womphakathi osebenzayo uwuphawu lwezifiso zobuholi nezimfanelo. Kodwa le nkolelo ayilona iqiniso ngaso sonke isikhathi.
Ubuholi bangempela bunamandla ezindaweni ezingakahleleki, ngaphandle kohlelo lwesikole. Umholi weqiniso yilowo ohlanganisa ontanga ngezikhathi ezingakahleleki, kungaba izenzo eziwusizo noma imigilingwane.
Kodwa induna ivamise ukuqokwa ngothisha, kugxilwe kulabo abalawuleka kakhulu. Uma izingane zibamba iqhaza okhethweni, indlela yazo ilula: ake sinqume ukuthi ubani okulula ukumsola. Yebo, kukhona okuhlukile lapha futhi.
Ezemidlalo
Iningi labantu abasezikhundleni zobuholi belibambe iqhaza elikhulu kwezemidlalo ngesikhathi lisafunda. Kuvela ukuthi ukudlala imidlalo ebuntwaneni cishe kuyimfanelo ephoqelekile yempumelelo yesikhathi esizayo. Akumangalisi: ezemidlalo zifundisa ingane isiyalo, ukukhuthazela, ikhono lokukhuthazela, "ukuthatha i-punch", ukuncintisana, ukubambisana.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukudlala ezemidlalo kwenza umfundi ahlele isikhathi sakhe, ahlale esesimweni esihle, ehlanganisa ukutadisha, umsebenzi wesikole, ukuxhumana nabangane nokuqeqeshwa.
Lokhu ngikwazi ngokuhlangenwe nakho kwami. Ngikhumbula ukuthi ngemva nje kwezifundo, ngilambile, ngithuthumela, ngaphuthuma esikoleni somculo. Futhi-ke, egwinya i-apula ohambweni, washesha waya kolunye uhlangothi lwaseMoscow esigabeni sokucibishela imicibisholo. Lapho ngifika ekhaya, ngenza umsebenzi wami wesikole. Futhi kanjalo kathathu ngesonto. Iminyaka eminingana. Futhi emva kwakho konke, konke kwakusesikhathini futhi akazange akhononde. Ngangifunda izincwadi esitimeleni futhi ngihamba nezintombi zami egcekeni. Ngokuvamile, ngangijabule.
Ubudlelwano nothisha
Igunya likathisha libalulekile kuyo yonke ingane. Lona ungumuntu wesibili obaluleke kakhulu ngemva kwabazali. Indlela ingane eyakha ngayo ubuhlobo nothisha isho lukhulu ngekhono layo lokulalela igunya nokuvikela umbono wayo.
Ukulingana okunengqondo kwalawa makhono esikhathini esizayo kusiza umuntu ukuba abe isisebenzi esimatasa, esithembekile, esinezimiso futhi esizimisele.
Abantu abanjalo abakwazi nje ukuvumelana nobuholi, kodwa baphinde baphikisane nabo uma izithakazelo zecala zidinga lokho.
Omunye wamakhasimende ami wathi esikoleni esiphakathi wayesaba ukuveza noma yimuphi umbono owawungahambisani nothisha, futhi wakhetha ukuthatha isikhundla "sokuyekethisa". Ngolunye usuku waya ekamelweni likathisha eyofuna umagazini wekilasi. Yakhala insimbi, seziqhubeka izifundo, uthisha we-chemistry uhlezi yedwa ekamelweni likathisha wakhala. Lesi sigameko esingahleliwe samethusa. Waqaphela ukuthi "usokhemisi" oqinile ungumuntu ofanayo nje ojwayelekile, ukuhlupheka, ukukhala futhi ngezinye izikhathi ngisho engenakuzisiza.
Leli cala labonakala linamandla: kusukela ngaleso sikhathi, le nsizwa iyeka ukwesaba ukuphikisana nabadala bayo. Lapho omunye umuntu obalulekile emfaka ukwesaba, wakhumbula ngokushesha ukukhala «usokhemisi» futhi wangena ngesibindi kunoma yiziphi izingxoxo ezinzima. Lalingekho igunya elalingasenakunyakaziswa kuye.
Ukuvukela abantu abadala
Ukuhlubuka kwentsha ngokumelene "nabadala" kuyisigaba semvelo sokukhula. Ngemuva kwalokho okubizwa nge-"positive symbiosis", lapho ingane "ingekabazali", ilalela imibono yabo futhi ilandela iseluleko, osemusha ungena enkathini ye-"negative symbiosis". Lesi yisikhathi somzabalazo, ukucinga izincazelo ezintsha, izindinganiso zomuntu siqu, imibono, ukukhetha.
Ezimweni eziningi, osemusha udlula ngempumelelo lesi sigaba sokuthuthukiswa: uthola isipiliyoni sokumelana ngokuphumelelayo nokucindezela kwabadala, uzuza ilungelo lokwahlulela okuzimele, izinqumo nezenzo. Futhi udlulela esigabeni esilandelayo "sokuzimela": ukuphothula esikoleni, ukuhlukana kwangempela nomndeni wabazali.
Kodwa kwenzeka ukuthi osemusha, bese kuba umuntu omdala, "ubambeka" ngaphakathi esigabeni sokuhlubuka.
Umuntu omdala onjalo, ezimweni ezithile zempilo ezenza «ukuqala kwakhe kwentsha», uba nokungabekezeleli, amawala, categorical, engakwazi ukulawula imizwa yakhe futhi iqondiswe ukucabanga. Bese-ke ukuhlubuka kuba indlela yakhe ayikhethayo yokufakazela kubadala bakhe (isibonelo, ukuphatha) ukubaluleka kwakhe, amandla, namakhono.
Ngazi ngamacala amaningana ahlabayo lapho abantu bebonakala benele futhi beqeqeshiwe, sebethole umsebenzi, ngemuva kwesikhashana baqala ukuxazulula zonke izinkinga ngezingxabano, ukuhlubuka, nokuphikisa okusebenzayo kuyo yonke imiyalo evela kubaphathi babo. Kugcine kukhale izinyembezi - "bashaya umnyango" bahambe bodwa, noma baxoshwe ngehlazo.