Esikudingayo ebuntwaneni uthando lukamama. Lapho umuntu obaluleke kakhulu ekuphileni kwengane eyishiya noma ehlukaniswa ngokomzwelo, ayibe isasekelwa. Futhi lokhu kubonakala ngokuyinhloko ekuziphatheni kwakhe kokudla.
Kungani ukudla? Ngoba liyikhambi elilula elingaletha ukwaneliseka ngokushesha. Sikhumbula ukuthi ukudla kwakutholakala ngesikhathi sibakhumbula kakhulu abazali bethu. Ngisho noma yayiyindlala futhi ilinganiselwe.
Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo, uchwepheshe wesayensi yezokudla okunempilo u-Ev Khazina uphawula ukuthi isithombe sikamama lapho eqala ukondla usana sihlotshaniswa nokwanelisa indlala nokuphila:
“Akusizi lutho ukuthi ingane izame ukubophela unina kuyena. Lesi isingathekiso sokudala kabusha ipharadesi elilahlekile lokuthuthukiswa kokubeletha. Silwela ukuyigcina futhi siyinwebe kuze kube ikusasa. Kodwa kumelwe kukhunjulwe ukuthi abazali banganikeza ingane yabo kuphela izinga lokwaneliseka bona ngokwabo elikuqongelele. Ukushoda kwabazali othandweni nasekumukeleni kuwufuzo.”
Ucwaningo luqinisekisa ukuthi izingane ezintula uthando lukamama zibonakala zilambile. Umphumela uba ukufuduka: ukungabi nalutho ngokomzwelo endaweni yothando kusiqhubezela esenzweni esilula sokufuna induduzo ngokudla.
Indaba ecashile yothando
Izilimi Ezinhlanu Zothando zikaGary Chapman (Izincwadi Ezikhanyayo, 2020) wethula imodeli yothando engokomzwelo ehlanganisa:
ukusekela,
ukunakekelwa
ukuzidela,
imvume,
ukuthinta ngokomzimba.
Ngaphandle kokungabaza, singangeza ulimi lwesithupha lothando kulolu hlu - ukudla. Siyalukhumbula futhi siyalwazisa lolu limi lothando lukamama impilo yethu yonke. Ngeshwa, imindeni ihlukene. U-Ev Khazina uqinisekile ukuthi ukuntuleka kothando lwabazali kuphendula empilweni yabantu abadala ngezinkinga zokudla. Amadoda nabesifazane abakhuluphele ngokweqile bavame ukukhumbula ukuthi ebuntwaneni abazange bazizwe benakekelwa futhi besekelwa kakhulu.
Njengoba zikhula, zincishwa uthando nokunakekelwa, izingane ziqala ukunxephezela ukuvinjelwa okuqinile ngokudla ukuhlukaniswa nento emnandi. Isifiso esinjalo “sokuthola” uthando lukamama siyaqondakala, lo chwepheshe ukholelwa ukuthi: “Njengoba ikhula futhi izenzela umathanda, ingane ithola ukuthi “umama ongekho” angathathelwa indawo ukudla “okuhlala kutholakala” kalula. . Njengoba engqondweni yengane, umama nokudla kucishe kufane, khona-ke ukudla kuba yisixazululo esikhulu esilula.
Uma umama enobuthi futhi engabekezeleleki, ukudla, njengengxenye esindisayo, kungase kube isivikelo ekuthinteni okunjalo.
Indlela yokunqanda ukwanga kukamama kokudla
Uma sinomuzwa wokuthi sisusa uthando lwabathandekayo ngokudla, khona-ke isikhathi sesifikile sokuthatha isinyathelo. Yini engenziwa? Umelaphi uphakamisa ukwenza eziyisikhombisa izinyathelo zokusiza ukuguqula ukudla okungokomzwelo kube "ubudlelwane obusangulukile nokudla."
Qonda umsuka womkhuba wakho wokudla ukucindezeleka. Cabanga ngalokhu: kwaqala nini, ngaphansi kwaziphi izimo zokuphila, yiziphi idrama nokukhathazeka okuhambisana nakho okuyisisekelo salokhu kuziphatha kokugwema?
Hlola izenzo ezidingekayo ukuze ushintshe. Zibuze ukuthi yiziphi izinzuzo ezizolethwa ukushintsha? Bhala phansi impendulo.
Yenza uhlu lwezenzo ezingase zibe khona esikhundleni sokudla ngokweqile. Kungaba ukuphumula, ukuhamba, ukugeza, ukuzindla okufushane, ukuzivocavoca.
Hlangana ubuso nobuso noMgxeki wakho oyinhloko. Mazi njengomngane wakudala. Hlaziya, izwi likabani elakudala elikaMgxeki? Yini wena, umuntu omdala, ongayiphendula ezicelweni zakhe nokwehla kwenani?
Yenza lokho okwesabayo nsuku zonke. Okokuqala zicabange ukwenza engqondweni yakho. Bese uqalise empilweni yangempela.
Zincome, vuma, uziklomelise ngaso sonke igxathu eliyingozi osithathayo. Kodwa hhayi ukudla!
Khumbula, ukudla okungokomzwelo kuyilungelo lengane, hhayi umuntu omdala nonomthwalo wemfanelo osunguye manje. Nikeza umuntu omdala ukwenqaba izihloko zempilo ezikucindezelayo futhi ubuke izimangaliso ezizongena empilweni yakho.