I-Psychology

Ingabe sidlala ngesifiso sendodakazi yethu esanda kweva eshumini nambili sokwehlisa isisindo/sidle okunye ukuphakelwa kwespaghetti? Ingabe sibala ama-calories ekudleni kwethu? Cabanga ngakho: yimuphi umqondo womzimba esiwushiya njengefa enganeni? I-Blogger u-Dara Chadwick uphendula le mibuzo neminye evela kubafundi be-Psychologies.

“Into engcono kakhulu umama angayenza iwukuqala ngomzimba wakhe,” kusho umlobi uDara Chadwick. Ngo-2007, wawina umncintiswano phakathi kwama-blogger agcina idayari yokuncipha kwesisindo kuwebhusayithi yephephabhuku elidumile lase-US lokuqina. Lapho u-Dara elahlekelwa isisindo ngokwengeziwe, ukukhathazeka kwakhula kuye ngokwengeziwe: ukukhathazeka kwakhe njalo ngamakhilogremu nama-calories kuzoyithinta kanjani indodakazi yakhe? Wabe esecabanga ukuthi ubudlelwano bakhe obunezingqinamba nesisindo somzimba wakhe bube nomthelela ebuhlotsheni bakhe nomzimba kamama wakhe. Ngenxa yalokhu kuzindla, wabhala incwadi yakhe.

Sicele u-Dara Chadwick ukuthi aphendule imibuzo ethandwa kakhulu kubafundi be-Psychologies.

Wenzani uma indodakazi yakho ithi isikhuluphele? Ineminyaka eyisikhombisa ubudala, yinde futhi intombazane enamandla, futhi inomzimba wokusubatha. Futhi uyenqaba ukugqoka ijakhethi epholile, ebizayo ephansi engalithenga ngoba ecabanga ukuthi limenza akhuluphale nakakhulu. Waze waqhamukaphi nalento?"

Ngincamela ukusola izingubo ezimbi ngokubukeka kabi kunomzimba wami. Ngakho uma indodakazi yakho ilizonda leli bhantshi eliphansi, libuyisele esitolo. Kodwa yazisa indodakazi yakho: ubuyisela ibhantshi ngoba ayikhululekile kulo, hhayi ngoba "imenza akhuluphale." Mayelana nombono wakhe wokuzigxeka, wawungaqhamuka noma yikuphi. Zama ukubuza ngokuqondile: "Kungani ucabanga kanjalo?" Uma ivula, kuyoba ithuba elihle kakhulu ukukhuluma mayelana «okulungile» bobunjwa nobukhulu, mayelana imibono ehlukene mayelana ubuhle kanye nempilo.

Khumbula ukuthi amantombazane asebusheni bawo anemibandela yokuzigxeka nokuzilahla, futhi ungasho lokho okucabangayo ngokuqondile.

“Kwakumele manje ngiyodla ukudla ukuze ngehlise isisindo. Indodakazi yami ibukela ngesithakazelo njengoba ngibala ama-calories futhi ngikala izingxenye. Ingabe ngimbeka isibonelo esibi?

Lapho ngincipha unyaka wonke, ngatshela indodakazi yami ukuthi ngifuna ukuba nempilo enhle, hhayi ukuba nomzimba omncane. Futhi sikhulume ngokubaluleka kokudla ukudla okunempilo, ukuzivocavoca kanye nokukwazi ukulawula ingcindezi. Naka ukuthi indodakazi yakho iyibona kanjani intuthuko yakho ngokudla okusha. Khuluma kabanzi mayelana nokuzizwa ungcono kunamakhilogremu amangaki olahlekelwe. Futhi ngokuvamile, zama ukukhuluma ngawe kahle ngaso sonke isikhathi. Uma ngolunye usuku ungayithandi indlela obukeka ngayo, gxila engxenyeni oyithandayo. Indodakazi mayizwe ukuncoma kwakho. Ngisho nokulula okuthi “Ngiwuthanda kakhulu umbala waleli bhulawuzi” kungcono kakhulu kunokuthi “Hhayi, ngibukeka ngikhuluphele kakhulu namuhla.”

“Indodakazi yami ineminyaka engu-16 futhi ikhuluphele kancane. Angifuni ukumlethela lokhu kakhulu, kodwa uhlala ephinda egcwalisa lapho sidla, ngokuvamile entshontsha amakhukhi ekhabetheni, kanye nokudla okulula phakathi kokudla. Umtshela kanjani ukuthi adle kancane ngaphandle kokwenza into enkulu ngakho?

Okubalulekile akukhona lokho okushoyo, kodwa lokho okwenzayo. Ungakhulumi naye mayelana nesisindo esiningi nama-calories. Uma ekhuluphele, ngikholwe, useyazi ngakho. Ingabe unendlela yokuphila ematasa? Mhlawumbe udinga nje amandla engeziwe, ukushajwa. Noma ubhekene nesikhathi esinzima esikoleni, ebudlelwaneni nabangane, nokudla kuyamthoba. Uma ufuna ukushintsha indlela adla ngayo, phakamisa indaba yokubaluleka kokudla okunempilo. Yisho ukuthi uzimisele ukwenza ukudla komkhaya wonke kube nokulinganisela, futhi umcele ukuba akusize ekhishini. Khuluma ngokwenzeka empilweni yakhe. Futhi umbekele isibonelo, bonisa ukuthi wena ngokwakho uthanda izitsha ezinempilo futhi ungadli phakathi kwezikhathi.

“Indodakazi ineminyaka engu-13 futhi iyekile ukudlala i-basketball. Uthi usephumelele ngokwanele futhi akafuni ukwenza umsebenzi wezemidlalo. Kodwa ngiyazi ukuthi unamahloni okugqoka izikhindi ezimfishane, njengoba kuwumkhuba lapho. Indlela yokuxazulula inkinga? »

Okokuqala, mbuze ukuthi angathanda yini ukungenela omunye umdlalo. Amantombazane avame ukuzizwa enamahloni ngawe ebusheni, lokhu kuvamile. Kodwa mhlawumbe uvele wakhathala nge-basketball. Into ebaluleke kakhulu wonke umama okufanele ayikhumbule ukugwema noma yikuphi ukulahlwa futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo uzama ukufaka izingane uthando lwendlela yokuphila esebenzayo, ukukhombisa ukuthi umsebenzi womzimba awuwona amarekhodi kanye nokunqoba, kodwa injabulo enkulu. Uma ezemidlalo zingaseyona intokozo, sekuyisikhathi sokuzama okunye.

“Umama uyathanda ukuziqhathanisa nami nodadewethu. Kwesinye isikhathi unginika izinto athi akasakwazi ukungilingana, futhi zihlale zincane kakhulu kimi. Ngeke ngifune ukwenza okufanayo endodakazini yami eneminyaka engu-14 ubudala.”

Amantombazane amaningi anomuzwa wokuthi isibalo sawo asikwazi ukuncintisana nemilenze emide/ukhalo oluncane lonina, athatha noma yikuphi ukuphawula kwawo njengokuwagxeka. Futhi ngokuphambene. Kukhona omama ababa nesikhwele esibi uma bezwa kunconywa amadodakazi abo. Cabanga ngalokho okushoyo. Khumbula ukuthi amantombazane asemancane anemibandela yokuthi azigxeke futhi azenqabe, futhi angasho lokho okucabangayo, ngisho noma ecela umbono wakho. Kungcono umlalele ngokucophelela, futhi uzoqonda ukuthi hlobo luni lwempendulo aludingayo.

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