Okuqukethwe
Wonke umuntu unemibono yokuthi umlingani ofanelekile kufanele abe yini. Futhi sihlala sigxeka okhethiwe, sizama ukumfanela ezindinganisweni zethu. Sizizwa sengathi senza ngezinhloso ezinhle kakhulu. Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo emitholampilo u-Todd Kashdan ukholelwa ukuthi ukuziphatha okunjalo konakalisa ubuhlobo kuphela.
U-Oscar Wilde wake wathi, "Ubuhle busesweni lomuntu obukele." Izazi zibonakala zivumelana naye. Okungenani uma kuziwa ebudlelwaneni bothando. Ngaphezu kwalokho, umbono wethu ngozakwethu kanye nendlela esibheka ngayo ubudlelwano kuthinta kakhulu ukuthi bazothuthuka kanjani.
Izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo zaseGeorge Mason University e-United States zanquma ukuthola ukuthi ukuhlolwa kokufaneleka komlingani kuthinta kanjani ubudlelwano esikhathini eside. Bamema imibhangqwana engabantu bobulili obuhlukile engu-159 futhi babahlukanisa ngamaqembu amabili: abokuqala kwakungabafundi, okwesibili imibhangqwana yabantu abadala. Ucwaningo beluholwa uprofesa wezengqondo yezempilo u-Todd Kashdan.
Izinzuzo kanye nokubi
Abahlanganyeli bacelwe ukuthi bakhethe izici zabo zobuntu ezintathu eziqine kakhulu umuntu ngamunye futhi basho “imiphumela engemihle” engemihle yalezo zici. Isibonelo, ujabule ngemibono yokudala yomyeni wakho, kodwa amakhono akhe enhlangano ashiya okuningi okufanele ukwenze.
Khona-ke womabili amaqembu aphendula imibuzo mayelana nezinga lokusondelana ngokomzwelo kumbhangqwana, ukwaneliseka ngokocansi, futhi bahlola ukuthi bajabule kangakanani kulobu budlelwano.
Labo abawazisa kakhulu amandla abalingani babo baneliseke kakhulu ngobudlelwano nempilo yocansi. Ngokuvamile banomuzwa wokuthi umlingani usekela izifiso nemigomo yabo futhi usiza ukukhula kwabo siqu.
Abantu abanaka kakhulu ukushiyeka komlingani wabo mancane amathuba okuba bazizwe besekelwe nguye
Ngaphezu kwalokho, labo abazazisa kakhulu izimfanelo zomunye bazinikele kakhulu, bazizwa besondelene ngokwengqondo kumbhangqwana, futhi batshala amandla engeziwe enhlalakahleni iyonke. Ukufunda ukwazisa amandla omngane wakho womshado kusiza ukwakha ubuhlobo obunempilo. Abalingani abanjalo bazisa izimfanelo zabo ezinhle kakhulu.
Omunye umbuzo uwukuthi isimo sengqondo sabalingani ezicini ezisemaceleni zobuhle bomngane womshado siyithinta kanjani inhlalakahle yombhangqwana. Phela, isibonelo, kunzima ngentombazane yokudala ukugcina ukuhleleka ekamelweni, futhi umyeni onomusa futhi ophanayo uhlala eboshiwe.
Kuvele ukuthi abantu abanaka kakhulu ukushiyeka komlingani mancane amathuba okuba bazwe ukwesekwa kuye. Abafundi ababambe iqhaza ocwaningweni bavumile ukuthi bebengathokozile kakhulu ngobudlelwano kanye nokuziphatha kophathina ovamisile ukuveza uthando noma abagxeke kaningi. Abahlanganyeli bakhala ngokuntula ukusondelana ngokomzwelo kanye nokwaneliseka okuphansi nempilo yabo yocansi.
Amandla ombono
Esinye isiphetho sabacwaningi: umbono womlingani oyedwa mayelana nobuhlobo uthinta ukwahlulela kwesibili. Lapho owokuqala ewazisa amandla omunye kakhulu noma ekhathazeka kancane ngenxa yokushiyeka kwakhe, owesibili uvame ukuqaphela ukusekela kothandekayo.
"Imibono yozakwethu ngomunye nomunye ilolonga iqiniso labo elihlanganyelwe ebudlelwaneni," kusho umholi wocwaningo u-Todd Kashdan. “Abantu bayashintsha indlela yokuziphatha kuye ngokuthi yini ehlonishwayo nebonwayo ebudlelwaneni nokungeyona. Abantu ababili abakunyunyana yothando bazakhela ezabo izimo: indlela yokuziphatha, indlela yokungaziphathi, nokuthi yini elungele umbhangqwana.
Ikhono lokwazisana liyisihluthulelo sobuhlobo obuhle. Uma siwazisa amandla omlingani wethu, sixhumana naye ngakho, futhi simvumela ukuthi asebenzise lawa mandla, sisiza othandekayo ukuthi abone amandla akhe. Kusisiza ukuba sibe ngcono futhi sithuthuke ndawonye. Sikholelwa ukuthi singakwazi ukubhekana nezinkinga nezinguquko ekuphileni.
Mayelana Nochwepheshe: U-Todd Kashdan ungudokotela wezengqondo eGeorge Mason University.