Okuqukethwe
Umelaphi wezithandani nombhali odayisa kakhulu we-Captive Breeding, u-Esther Perel, oselule imibhangqwana iminyaka eminingi, ufinyelele esiphethweni sokuthi ukwehluleka kwethu othandweni kubangelwa imizwa engaguquki. Uzwakalisa imibono eyiphutha evamile evimbela uthando lwangempela ukuba lungatholakali.
1. Abashadile abathandanayo bahlale betshelana iqiniso.
Ingabe kufanelekile ukutshela othandekayo wakho ukuthi unamakhilogremu engeziwe kanye nemibimbi? Noma ululaze owakwakho ngokuvuma ngendaba endala? Ukwethembeka kungaba nonya kakhulu, nolwazi lungalimaza.
Ngincoma ukuthi amaklayenti angabatsheli abalingani bawo ngezinto okungenzeka ukuthi angazigaya ngokushesha futhi azikhohlwe. Ngaphambi kokubeka konke okushiwoyo nokuphumayo, hlola umonakalo ongase ube khona emazwini akho. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukuvuleka okukhulu kunciphisa ukukhangana kwethu futhi kudala umphumela owaziwayo "wezihlobo eziseduze".
2. Izinkinga zocansi zikhomba izinkinga zobudlelwane.
Kuyamukelwa ngokuvamile ukuthi imibhangqwana enempilo engokomzwelo iphila impilo yocansi esebenzayo, futhi ukuntuleka kocansi kuhlotshaniswa nokwehla kwendima yemizwa. Akunjalo ngaso sonke isikhathi.
Uthando nesifiso kungahlotshaniswa, kodwa kungangqubuzana noma kuthuthuke ngokuhambisana, futhi lokhu kuyindida yokukhangwa inkanuko. Abantu ababili banganamathelana kakhulu ngaphandle kwekamelo lokulala, kodwa impilo yabo yobulili ingaba yimbi kakhulu noma ingabi khona.
3. Uthando nothando kuyahambisana
Emakhulwini eminyaka, ubulili emshadweni babubhekwa "njengomsebenzi womshado." Manje sishada ngenxa yothando futhi ngemva komshado silindele ukuthi uthando nokukhanga ngeke kusishiye iminyaka eminingi. Imibhangqwana ihlakulela umuzwa wokusondelana ngokomzwelo, ilindele ukuthi uzokwenza ukuphila kwabo kobulili kukhanye nakakhulu.
Kwabanye abantu, lokhu kuyiqiniso. Ukuvikeleka, ukwethembana, ukunethezeka, ukungaguquguquki kuvuselela ukukhangwa kwabo. Kodwa izinto eziningi zihlukile. Ukusondelana ngokomzwelo kubulala inkanuko: kuvuswa umuzwa wemfihlakalo, ukutholwa, ukuwela ibhuloho elithile elingabonakali.
Ukubuyisana kwenkanuko nempilo yansuku zonke akuyona inkinga okumele siyixazulule, kuyindida okumele yamukelwe. Ubuciko ukufunda indlela yokuba «kude naseduze» emshadweni ngesikhathi esifanayo. Lokhu kungafezwa ngokudala indawo yakho siqu (yobuhlakani, ngokomzimba, ngokomzwelo) - ingadi yakho eyimfihlo, okungangeni muntu kuyo.
4. Ubulili bowesilisa nowesifazane buhluke ngokwemvelo.
Abaningi bakholelwa ukuthi ubulili besilisa buyinto yakudala futhi inqunywa kakhulu umzwelo wemvelo kunemizwelo, futhi isifiso sowesifazane siyashintsha futhi sidinga izimo ezikhethekile.
Eqinisweni, ubulili besilisa buhileleke ngokomzwelo njengobulili besifazane. Ukucindezeleka, ukukhathazeka, intukuthelo, noma, ngokuphambene, umuzwa wokuwela othandweni uthinta kakhulu isifiso sobulili. Yebo, amadoda maningi amathuba okuthi asebenzise ucansi njengesilawuli sokulwa nokucindezeleka nemizwa. Kodwa ngesikhathi esifanayo, bakhathazeke kakhulu ngokusebenza kwabo siqu kanye nokwesaba ukungamjabulisi umlingani wabo.
Ungacabangi ngamadoda njengama-biorobots: ahileleke ngokomzwelo njengawe.
5. Inyunyana ekahle isekelwe ekulinganeni
Ezinyunyaneni ezijabulisayo, abantu bayaphelelisana, futhi abalweli amalungelo namathuba alinganayo. Baphakamisa izimfanelo eziyingqayizivele zabalingani babo ngaphandle kokuzama ukufakazela ukuphakama kwabo kubo.
Siphila enkathini yokuzigxeka futhi sichitha isikhathi esiningi sizijabulisa futhi sibheka ukungapheleli kubantu nasebudlelwaneni. Kodwa ngenxa yenzuzo yethu, kufanelekile ukufunda ukugxeka kancane futhi sazise kakhulu esinakho - ngokwethu, izimpilo zethu, abalingani bethu kanye nomshado wethu.