Okuqukethwe
Naphezu kwemibono yabesifazane, abesifazane basasaba ukuba bodwa, ngaphandle komndeni nomuntu onothando. Yebo, futhi amadoda ayesaba into efanayo, awavamile ukukhuluma ngayo, kusho isazi sezokuhlalisana kwabantu nomlobi uDeborah Carr. Indlela yokubhekana nomuzwa ophazamisayo wesizungu futhi uyeke ukuphatha umshado njengowukuphela kwendlela eqinisekile yokujabula?
Lapho ngisendizeni, kwatholakala izintombi ezimbili engangihamba nazo, ezangenza ngaba isithenjwa sabo esingaqaphile, bexoxa ngemininingwane yokuphila kwami siqu ngokuzwakalayo nangokomzwelo. Engxoxweni yabo, ngafunda ukuthi bobabili sebethandana nentsha futhi banethemba elikhulu ngalobu buhlobo. Njengoba babexoxa izindaba zabo zesikhathi esidlule, kwacaca ukuthi bungakanani ubuhlungu okwakumelwe babubekezelele: “Ngangicabanga ukuthi sindawonye, siyizithandani, wabe esengithumelela i-akhawunti umngane wami endaweni yokuphola, lapho yena, endaweni yakhe yokuphola. amazwi akhe, “Bengifuna uthando”, “Lapho ngithola ukuthi ushadile, angizange ngikholelwe ekuqaleni,” “Angisaqondi ukuthi kungani lowo muntu eyeka ukungishayela ucingo ngemva kokuphola izinsuku ezintathu ezimnandi.”
Kungase kubonakale sengathi akukho lutho olusha - izizukulwane zamadoda nabesifazane zihlushwa uthando olungavunyelwe, imizwa yokungaqondakali nesizungu, ngenxa yokuthi zishiywe ngendlela engcolile kakhulu, ngaphandle kokuhlonipha incazelo namazwi okuvalelisa. Njengoba ngaqonda, bobabili abesifazane babe nabangane abaseduze, izihlobo ezinothando nemisebenzi ephumelelayo. Kodwa-ke, kwakusobala - ngokombono wabo, ukuphila okuphelele kuhlotshaniswa nobudlelwane bothando kanye nomshado owengeziwe. Lesi simo asisisha.
Ngokukhula, sikulungele ukubuka omunye nomunye ngokucophelela, ngokujulile, okusho ukuthi ithuba lokuhlangana nomuntu "wethu" liyakhula.
Uchungechunge lwehlelo elithi "Ubulili Nedolobha" lubonise ngokucacile ukuhlupheka okungokomzwelo nokungakhululeki kwabesifazane, okubonakala sengathi, banakho konke ... ngaphandle kobudlelwane obuphumelelayo. Futhi lokhu akusebenzi kwabesifazane kuphela - isifiso sokuthola umlingani womphefumulo oqondayo, osekelayo nonothando futhi unesikhundla esiholayo ohlwini lwezifiso zangaphakathi zabesilisa. Ukuthi nje amadoda awaphimisi ngokungananazi. Ngangifuna ukunikeza induduzo ethile kulaba besifazane abasebasha imibono yabo yenjabulo nokwaneliseka yayihlobene eduze nombuzo othi, “Kungani engangithandi?” futhi "Ngizoshada?". Ngicabanga ukuthi ngingabakhuthaza abasha engihamba nabo ngokubanikeza umbono ohluke kancane ngenkinga ebakhathazayo.
Amathuba okuthi uzohlangana nophathina wakho maningi
Sivame ukwethuka ngenani labantu abangashadile. Kodwa-ke, asikunaki ukuthi yilabo kuphela abashadile abasemthethweni abangena ngaphansi kwezibalo zegebe. Futhi isibalo sakhe akufanele sidukise. Ngokwesibonelo, isilinganiso salabo abashadayo abaneminyaka ephakathi kuka-25 no-34 sehlile, kodwa lokhu akusho neze ukuthi abantu bahlale bengashadile. Ukuthi nje iphesenti elikhulu liphetha inyunyana esemthethweni ngemva kweminyaka engama-40 noma engu-50, futhi abaningi abakwenzi kube semthethweni ubuhlobo babo futhi izibalo zibabheka njengabanesizungu, nakuba empeleni laba bantu banemikhaya ejabulayo.
Okulindelwe kwethu kuyashintsha futhi kuhle lokho.
Okulindelwe kwethu kothandekayo kanye nendlela yokukhetha kwakhe iyashintsha. Omunye wentsha engangihamba naye wakhuluma ngentshiseko ngomunye wabalandeli bakhe. Ngendlela amchaza ngayo, izimfanelo zakhe ezinhle zazisobala - ukwakheka kwezemidlalo namehlo aluhlaza. Akungabazeki ukuthi abagibeli besilisa abasebasha, uma kwenzeka bekhuluma ngesihloko esifanayo, bazophinde baqaphele, okokuqala, ukufaneleka kwangaphandle kwabalingani abangaba khona. Lokhu ngokwengxenye kungenxa yezindinganiso ezibekwe kithi, kuhlanganise maqondana nokubukeka. Ngokukhula, siba ngokuzimela futhi silungele ukubukana ngokucophelela, sijule. Bese ukubukeka kozakwethu kufiphala ngemuva. Ukuhleka, umusa, nekhono lokuzwelana kuza kuqala. Ngakho, ithuba lokuhlangana nomuntu "owakhe" ngempela liyakhula.
Iphesenti elikhulu labantu abashadile liyavuma ukuthi ukube bekufanele bakhethe manje, bebengeke bakhethe ukukhetha umaqondana.
Uthando aluwona umncintiswano wabangcono kakhulu
Ngezinye izikhathi, ngezisusa ezinhle, abangane bethu bathi: “Yeka ukuthi wena, ntombi enhle nehlakaniphe kangaka, usewedwa kanjani.” Futhi kuqala ukubonakala sengathi kumelwe sibe nezimfanelo ezithile ezikhethekile ukuze sikhange uthando. Futhi njengoba sisodwa, kusho ukuthi senza okuthile noma sibukeka singalungile. Ukuthola umaqondana akukona mayelana nokukhetha imoto noma umsebenzi, nakuba amasayithi okuphola aphakamisa lezi zinhlangano. Phela sifuna umuntu, hhayi iqoqo lezimfanelo. Buza imibhangqwana ehlala ndawonye isikhathi eside ukuthi yini ethandekayo kubo kumlingani, futhi ngeke ikutshele ngomholo ophezulu noma isibalo esihle kakhulu, kodwa izokhumbula izithakazelo ezivamile, izinjabulo nosizi olwabelwana ngazo kanye nokwabelwana ngalo, a umuzwa wokwethembana. Futhi abaningi ngeke bathinte izimfanelo ezithile futhi bazothi: "Lona ngumuntu wami nje."
Umshado awulona ikhambi lezinkinga
Umshado ungasinika izinzuzo ezingokomzwelo, ezingokwengqondo nezingokwenhlalo. Nokho, lokhu kungenzeka kuphela, futhi akusho nhlobo ukuthi sizojabulela lezi zici ezinhle. Kuphela ubudlelwano obusondelene ngempela, obujulile nokwethembana lapho sibona khona umuntu ozimele kumlingani osenza sijabule. Abantu abakulezi zinyunyana bazizwa benempilo futhi baphila isikhathi eside. Kodwa uma kungahlangani, konke kwenzeka ngokuphambene. Ucwaningo lubonisa ukuthi abantu abaningi asebeneminyaka engaphezu kweyishumi beshadile bayavuma ukuthi uma kufanele bakhethe manje, bebengeke bakhethe umngane womshado futhi ngeke baqale umkhaya naye. Ngoba abazizwa ukuxhumana ngokomzwelo. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, umngane noma isihlobo ongaxoxa naso ngokuhlangenwe nakho okuseduze singase sibe umuntu oseduze kakhulu kunomngane womshado.