Okuqukethwe
Ingabe uqinisekile ukuthi ukuzethemba kwakho kwenele? Ukuthi ungakwazi ukuhlola amakhono akho ngokunembile futhi wazi ukuthi ubukeka kanjani emehlweni abanye? Eqinisweni, yonke into ayilula kangako: isithombe sethu somuntu siqu sihlanekezelwe kakhulu.
"Ngingubani?" Abaningi bethu bacabanga ukuthi siyayazi kahle impendulo yalo mbuzo. Kodwa ingabe kunjalo? Kumelwe ukuba uhlangane nabantu abazibheka njengabahlabeleli abavelele futhi abangaweli engxenyeni yamanothi; bayaziqhenya ngokuhleka kwabo futhi babangele kuphela ukungakhululeki ngamahlaya; zicabange njengezazi zokusebenza kwengqondo ezicashile - futhi abazi mayelana nokukhashelwa umlingani. “Lokhu akuphathelene nami,” ungase ucabange. Futhi cishe unephutha.
Lapho sifunda okwengeziwe ngobuchopho kanye nokwazi, kulapho kucaca ngokwengeziwe ukuthi isithombe sethu somuntu siqu sihlanekezelwe kangakanani nokuthi likhulu kangakanani igebe phakathi kokuzizwa kwethu nokuthi abanye basibheka kanjani. Benjamin Franklin wabhala: “Kunezinto ezintathu okunzima kakhulu ukuzenza: ukuphula insimbi, ukuchoboza idayimane, nokuzazi.” Lona wakamuva ubonakala kuwumsebenzi onzima kakhulu. Kodwa uma siqonda ukuthi yini ehlanekezela umuzwa wethu wobumina, singathuthukisa amakhono ethu okuzihlola.
1. Siphila ekuthunjweni kokuzethemba kwethu.
Ucabanga ukuthi ungumpheki ophambili, unezwi elithandekayo lama-octave amane futhi ungumuntu ohlakaniphe kakhulu endaweni yangakini? Uma kunjalo, cishe unenkimbinkimbi ekhohlisayo yokuphakama—inkolelo yokuthi ungcono kunabanye kukho konke kusukela ekushayeleni imoto kuye emsebenzini.
Sithambekele kakhulu ekuweleni kulokhu kukhohlisa lapho sahlulela lezo zici zethu esizinaka kakhulu. Ucwaningo olwenziwa nguSolwazi Simin Wazir waseNyuvesi yaseCalifornia luthole ukuthi ukwahlulela kwabafundi ngekhono labo lobuhlakani akuzange kuhambelane namaphuzu abo okuhlolwa kwe-IQ. Labo okuzethemba kwabo kwakuphakeme babecabanga ngezingqondo zabo kuphela ngezinga eliphezulu. Futhi abafundi abakanye nabo ababenokuzethemba okuphansi babekhathazekile ngenxa yobuwula babo bokucatshangelwa, ngisho noma babengabokuqala eqenjini.
Sibona indlela abanye abasiphatha ngayo, futhi siqala ukuziphatha ngokuvumelana nalesi simo sengqondo.
Ukuphakama okukhohlisayo kunganikeza izinzuzo ezithile. Uma sizicabangela kahle, kusenza sizinze emoyeni, kusho uDavid Dunning waseCornell University (USA). Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukubukela phansi amakhono ethu kungasivikela emaphutheni nasezenzweni zokuxhamazela. Nokho, izinzuzo ezingaba khona zokuzethemba okukhohlisayo azilutho uma ziqhathaniswa nenani esilikhokhela ngakho.
“Uma sifuna ukuphumelela empilweni, kumele siqonde ukuthi yini okumele siyifake futhi sihlole imiphumela ngayiphi indlela,” kusho isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uZlatana Krizana wase-University of Iowa (USA). "Uma i-barometer yangaphakathi ingasebenzi kahle, ingaholela ezingxabanweni, ezinqumweni ezimbi futhi ekugcineni yehluleke."
2. Asiyicabangeli indlela esibukeka ngayo emehlweni abanye.
Sifinyelela iziphetho mayelana nobuntu bomuntu ngemizuzwana yokuqala yokumazi. Kulesi simo, ama-nuances wokubukeka - ukuma kwamehlo, ukuma kwekhala noma izindebe - kubaluleke kakhulu. Uma sinomuntu okhangayo phambi kwethu, simbheka njengonobungane, okhuthele emphakathini, ohlakaniphile futhi o-sexy. Amadoda anamehlo amakhulu, ibhuloho elincane lekhala nobuso obuyindilinga kubhekwa ngokuthi «omatilasi». Abanikazi bomhlathi omkhulu, ogqamile maningi amathuba okuthi bathole idumela "njengendoda".
Ziyiqiniso kangakanani izahlulelo ezinjalo? Ngempela, kukhona ukuxhumana phakathi kokukhiqizwa kwe-testosterone nezici zobuso. Abesilisa ababukeka njengobudoda bangase empeleni babe nolaka futhi babe luhlaza. Kungenjalo, ama-generalizations anjalo akude kakhulu neqiniso. Kodwa lokhu akusivimbeli ukuba sikholelwe eqinisweni labo futhi senze ngokuvumelana nemizwa yethu.
Ukuvimbela okuhle ukucela impendulo kwabanye.
Bese kuqala ubumnandi. Sibona indlela abanye abasiphatha ngayo, futhi siqala ukuziphatha ngokuvumelana nalesi simo sengqondo. Uma ubuso bethu bukhumbuza umuntu oqasha umsebenzi ngogebhezi lwe-Neanderthal, singase sinqatshelwe umsebenzi odinga umsebenzi wobuhlakani. Ngemva kweshumi nambili lalokhu kunqatshwa, singase «sibone» ukuthi asiwufanele ngempela umsebenzi.
3. Sicabanga ukuthi abanye bayazi esikwaziyo ngathi.
Abaningi bethu basahlola ngokunengqondo indlela abanye abasibheka ngayo. Amaphutha aqala uma kukhulunywa ngabantu abathize. Esinye isizathu siwukuthi asikwazi ukuhlukanisa phakathi kwalokho esikwaziyo ngathi nalokho abanye abangase bakwazi ngathi.
Ingabe uzichithele ikhofi? Yiqiniso, lokhu kwaqashelwa yizo zonke izivakashi ezivakashele esitolo. Futhi wonke umuntu wacabanga: “Nansi inkawu! Akumangalisi ukuthi unezimonyo ezigwegwile esweni elilodwa.” Kunzima ngabantu ukunquma ukuthi abanye bababheka kanjani, ngoba nje bazi kakhulu ngabo.
4. Sigxila kakhulu emizweni yethu.
Lapho singene shí emicabangweni nasemizweni yethu, singakwazi ukubamba ushintsho oluncane nje lwemizwa yethu nasenhlalakahleni yethu. Kodwa ngesikhathi esifanayo, silahlekelwa ikhono lokuzibuka ngaphandle.
“Uma ungibuza ukuthi nginomusa futhi ngibanaka kangakanani abantu, cishe ngizoqondiswa umuzwa wami wobumina nezinhloso zami,” kusho uSimin Wazir. "Kodwa konke lokhu kungenzeka kungahambisani nendlela engiziphatha ngayo."
Ubunikazi bethu bakhiwe izici eziningi ezingokomzimba nezingokwengqondo.
Ukuvimbela okuhle ukucela impendulo kwabanye. Kodwa kukhona nezihibe lapha. Labo abasazi kahle bangase bacheme kakhulu ekuhloleni kwabo (ikakhulukazi abazali). Ngakolunye uhlangothi, njengoba sibonile ekuqaleni, imibono yabantu abangabazi ngokuvamile ihlanekezelwa umbono wabo wokuqala nesimo sabo sengqondo.
Kungaba kanjani? U-Simin Wazir weluleka ukuthi ungazethembi kancane izahlulelo ezijwayelekile njengokuthi "okunengwayo" noma "ukuvilapha", futhi ulalele kakhulu ukuphawula okuthile okuhlobene namakhono akho futhi okuvela kochwepheshe.
Ngakho kungenzeka yini ukuzazi?
Ubuthina bethu buhlanganisa izici eziningi ezingokomzimba nezingokwengqondo—ukuhlakanipha, ulwazi, amakhono, imikhuba, ubulili, nokukhanga ngokomzimba. Kodwa ukucabangela ukuthi isamba zonke lezi zimfanelo «I» yethu yeqiniso futhi akulungile.
Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uNina Stormbringer nozakwabo baseYale University (USA) babheke imindeni lapho kwakunabantu abadala abanokuwohloka komqondo. Isimilo sabo sashintsha sangabonwa muntu, balahlekelwa inkumbulo bangabe besabona izihlobo zabo, kodwa izihlobo zaqhubeka zikholelwa ukuthi baxhumana nomuntu ofanayo ngaphambi kokugula.
Enye indlela yokuzazi kungaba ukuzidalela wena. Uma sizama ukudweba i-self-portrait yethu engokwengqondo, kuba sengathi ephusheni - kufiphele futhi kuguquguquka njalo. Imicabango yethu emisha, okuhlangenwe nakho okusha, izixazululo ezintsha zihlala zivutha izindlela ezintsha zentuthuko.
Ngokuyeka lokho okubonakala “kukolunye uhlanga” kithi, sizifaka engozini yokuphuthelwa amathuba. Kodwa uma siyeka ukuphishekela ubuqotho bethu futhi sigxile emigomweni, siyovuleka ngokwengeziwe futhi sikhululeke.