“Izinjabulo Ezinqatshelwe”: Ukwenza izinto owawungavunyelwe ukuzenza useyingane

Ngehla ngomgwaqo ngaphatha uphaya. Okumnandi, okufudumele, okusanda kuthengwa ebhikawozi elincane lapho usendleleni eya ekhaya. Futhi lapho nje ngiyiletha emlonyeni wami, izwi likagogo laphakama ekhanda lami: “Ungalumi! Ungadli ekuhambeni!”

Ngamunye wethu unentokozo yakhe encane - injabulo enecala, njengoba ibizwa kanjalo emhlabeni okhuluma isiNgisi. Kukhona okunembayo ngokwengqondo kule nkulumo - enembe kakhulu kunentokozo "enqatshelwe" noma "eyimfihlo". Mhlawumbe "abamsulwa" ngesiRashiya kuseduze, kodwa i-particle "hhayi" ishintsha kakhulu incazelo. Lonke ubuhle bumane nje, kubonakala, kulona kanye umuzwa wecala. Icala lihunyushwa lisuselwa esiNgisini ngokuthi “iwayini”. Lezi izinjabulo esizizwa sinecala ngazo. Ivelaphi?

Yiqiniso, lesi yisithelo esinqatshelwe. Kuvinjelwe futhi kumnandi. Abaningi bethu banikezwa imingcele nemithetho njengabantwana. Ukuziphula, ngokwemvelo sazizwa sinecala - ngokungenzeka, njengoba kwakubonakala kithi, imiphumela emibi kithi noma kwabanye - "ugogo uzophatheka kabi uma ungadli isidlo sakusihlwa asiphekile", "ukudla ekuhambeni kubi ukugaya. ” Ngezinye izikhathi sasizizwa sinamahloni - uma ukwephulwa komthetho kunofakazi, ikakhulukazi labo ababeka ukuvinjelwa kithi.

Ngo-1909, isazi se-psychoanalyst saseHungary uSandor Ferenczi waqamba igama elithi "introjection". Ngakho wabiza inqubo engazi lutho, ngenxa yalokho sithatha ukholo ebuntwaneni, zihlanganisa emhlabeni wethu wangaphakathi "izingeniso" - izinkolelo, imibono, imithetho noma izimo zengqondo ezitholwe kwabanye: umphakathi, othisha, umndeni.

Lokhu kungase kudingeke ukuze ingane ihambisane nemithetho yokuphepha, izinkambiso zokuziphatha emphakathini kanye nemithetho yezwe lakubo. Kodwa ezinye izingeniso zihlobene nemisebenzi yansuku zonke noma imikhuba. Futhi, lapho sikhula, singacabanga kabusha ngazo, silahle noma silinganisele kakade ngokuqaphela. Ngokwesibonelo, lapho sinendaba nokudla okunempilo, “isobho” likamama nelithi “ungawasebenzisi kabi amaswidi” kungaba ukuzikhethela kwethu.

Kubantu abaningi, izingeniso zihlala ngaphakathi, zithonya ukuziphatha. Othile uvele aqhubeke enganakile ukulwa nabo, "ebambeka" embhikishweni wentsha. Futhi othile, engazivumeli ukuba ephule imingcele, ulahla ngonya abanye ngenkululeko yabo yokwenza.

Ngezinye izikhathi, ohlelweni lokucabanga kabusha, ingqondo yomzali noma yothisha inganqatshwa, bese sibhubhisa isingeniso, "sikhafulela" ukuvinjelwa okungasifaneli.

Nakhu abakubhala abasebenzisi benkundla yezokuxhumana mayelana nokuzijabulisa kwabo okunecala:

• “Ngidansela umculo ngifake ama-headphones njengoba ngehla ngomgwaqo.”
• “Ngingenza isaladi ngotamatisi nje! Kuvele ukuthi ukhukhamba uyazikhethela!”
• “Ujamu ngiwudla ngiqonde embizeni, ngaphandle kokuwudlulisela evazini. Ngokubuka kukagogo kuyisono lesi!”
• “Ngingenza okuthile kusihlwa: ukuya esitolo ngo-XNUMX, uqale ukupheka isobho ngehora leshumi nanye. Umndeni wawukholelwa ukuthi konke kufanele kwenziwe ekuseni - ngokushesha kungcono. Ngezinye izikhathi kwakunengqondo. Isibonelo, esitolo, ngokuqinisekile, kusihlwa kwakungenalutho - "baphonsa" okuthile okubalulekile ekuseni. Kodwa-ke isisekelo esinengqondo salibaleka, futhi isimiso sahlala: ekuseni awukwazi ukufunda, ukubukela ifilimu, ukugoqa, ukuphuza ikhofi isikhathi eside ... "
• “Ngicwilisa amapanikuku ngqo embizeni kakhilimu omuncu ngenkathi ngipheka.”
• "Ngikhulile - futhi ngiyakwazi ukuhlanza lapho ngizizwa ngithanda, hhayi ngoMgqibelo ekuseni."
• “Ngiphuza ukhokho ojiyile ethini! Wenza izimbobo ezimbili - futhi voila, umpe uyathulula!
• “Angizeluli” izibiliboco ezifana neparmesan noma ijamoni isikhathi eside, ngizidla ngaso leso sikhathi.
• “Ukuphuma uye esitolo noma nezinja ezigqoke amabhulukwe. Abazali bangashaqeka.”
• “Uma ngifuna ukwenza ukuhlanza okujwayelekile noma ukuwasha amafasitela, ngimema isevisi yokuhlanza: kuwusizi nje ukuchitha isikhathi sakho kulokhu. Ngingakwazi ukuchitha usuku lonke nencwadi ngempelasonto, uma ngifisa, futhi ngingenzi noma yiliphi ibhizinisi.
• “Ngihamba nqunu endlini (ngezinye izikhathi ngidlala isiginci kanjalo).”

Kuvela ukuthi emindenini ehlukene izimo zengqondo zingaphikiswa kakhulu:

• “Ngaqala ukugqoka iziketi kanye nezimonyo!”
• “Ngisemncane ngangingavunyelwe ukuhamba ngigqoke ijean namabhulukwe, ngoba #uyintombazane. Akudingeki ukuthi, empilweni yami yomuntu omdala ngigqoka iziketi nezingubo ezinhle kakhulu kanye noma kabili ngonyaka.

Kuyathakazelisa ukuthi amazwi athandwa kakhulu ahlanganisa athi “Angi-ayina,” “Ngihlanza lapho ngithanda, noma angihlanzi isikhathi eside,” nokuthi “Angiwendluli umbhede wami.” Mhlawumbe ebuntwaneni bethu lezi zimfuno zabazali zaziphindaphindwa kaningi.

• “Ngabulala ingxenye yobuntwana bami ngenxa yalokhu! Uma ngikhumbula intaba yelineni okwakudingeka ngiyi-ayine, ngivele ngiqhaqhazele!”
• “Angizange ngenze amashalofu namakhabethe ngivule endlini yami ukuze ngingasuli uthuli lapho, ngicoshe yonke into.”

Ukwenqatshelwa esikubona njengokufanelekile kuyathakazelisa, kodwa sisayephula ngamabomu, sithola injabulo ekhethekile kulokhu:

• “Uma ngiya endaweni ehloniphekile ngiyobuka ifilimu yongqondongqondo, ngihlale ngifaka isitsha se-Riga Balsam nesikhwama sikashokoledi noma amantongomane esikhwameni sami. Futhi ngihubhuza ngama-candy wrappers.
• “Ngisula phansi ngozwane ngemva kokuchitha itiye elimnandi. Injabulo engabazekayo, yeqiniso, inyathela endaweni enamathelayo.
• “Ngithosa amadombolo ngaphandle kwesivalo esitofini esisanda kuwashwa.”
• “Angiwongi ugesi. Ukukhanya kukhanyise ifulethi lonke.
• “Angikuhambisi ukudla emabhodweni nasemabhodweni kodwa ngikubeka nje esiqandisini. Nginesikhala esanele, ngokungafani nomama.

Ukwenqatshwa kokwenqatshelwa nakho kungavezwa ekukhulisweni kwezingane:

• "Izinkolelo-mbono eziyinhloko ezenzeka ngesikhathi sokuvela kwezingane. Ubavumela lokho abazali bakho abangazange bakuvumele wena kanye nawe: ukondla lapho ufuna, ulale ndawonye, ​​unga-ayina izingubo (futhi ngisho nangaphezulu kusuka ezinhlangothini zombili), ugingqike emgwaqweni odakeni, ungagqoki ama-slippers, gqoka isigqoko kunoma yisiphi isimo sezulu. .
• “Ngivumele indodana yami ukuthi ipende iwallpaper ngendlela ethanda ngayo. Wonke umuntu ujabule.”

Futhi ngezinye izikhathi kuphakathi nenqubo yemfundo lapho sikhumbula khona izimo zengqondo zabazali, sibone ukufaneleka kwazo futhi sizidlulisele ezinganeni zethu:

• “Uma usungumzali ngokwakho, yonke le mikhawulo iyabuya, ngoba kumele ube yisibonelo. Futhi gqoka isigqoko, namaswidi - kuphela ngemva kokudla.
• “Ngokufika kwezingane, imingcele eminingi iba nengqondo ngokushesha. Nokho, ngokuvamile, kuwubuwula ukuhamba ngaphandle kwesigqoko lapho kubanda, futhi ungagezi izandla zakho ngaphambi kokudla. ”

Okunye ukuzijabulisa kumane kwephule amasiko athile ajwayelekile:

• “Nginentokozo eyodwa enecala, kodwa akekho ongenqabele. Mina ngokwami ​​ngafunda ngakho eminyakeni embalwa edlule ochungechungeni lwe-TV yaseMelika. Injabulo ilele ekutheni isidlo sakusihlwa udla ... ibhulakufesi. I-Cereal enobisi, i-toast enojamu nezinye izinjabulo. Kuzwakala kuwuhlanya, kodwa labo ukudla kwasekuseni okuwukudla abakuthandayo kufanele bakujabulele.”

“Injabulo yecala ingaletha ukuzenzela okwengeziwe ekuphileni kwethu”

Elena Chernyaeva - isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo, isazi sokulandisa

Imizwa yecala ingahlukaniswa cishe zibe izinhlobo ezimbili - enempilo futhi engenampilo, enobuthi. Singase sibe nomuzwa wecala onempilo lapho senze into engafanele noma elimazayo. Lolu hlobo lwecala luyasitshela ukuthi, “Wenze iphutha. Yenza okuthile ngakho.” Kusisiza ukuba siqaphele izenzo zethu ezingalungile, kusishukumisele ukuba siphenduke futhi silungise umonakalo owenziwe.

Icala elinobuthi umuzwa ohlotshaniswa nesethi yemithetho ethile, okufanele ngabe ivele kulokho okulindelwe abazali, amasiko noma umphakathi. Ngokuvamile sibafaka ebuntwaneni, asiqapheli ngaso sonke isikhathi, asizifaki ekuhlolweni okubucayi, asihloli ukuthi zihambisana kanjani nezimo zokuphila kwethu.

Icala aliziveleli lona ngokwalo - sifunda ukulizwa sisebancane, okuhlanganisa nalapho sigxekwa, sithethiswa ngalokho esikwenza kabi ngokombono wabantu abadala: abazali, ogogo nomkhulu, othisha, othisha.

Ukubhekana necala elinobuthi kuqhutshwa yizwi "lomgxeki wangaphakathi", elisitshela ukuthi senza okuthile okungalungile, asihambisani nesethi yemithetho kanye nokufanele. Leli zwi liphindaphinda amagama nemisho esake sayizwa kwabanye abantu, ngokuvamile abantu abadala.

Umgxeki wangaphakathi uhlala ehlola amazwi ethu, izenzo kanye nemizwa yethu, esiqhathanisa nenganekwane futhi engenakufezeka. Futhi njengoba singafinyeleli kuwo: asikhulumi, asenzi, futhi asizizwa “njengoba kufanele,” umgxeki uyohlale enezizathu ezingapheli zokusihlambalaza.

Ngakho-ke, kufanelekile ukunaka imizwa yecala. Sesikuzwile, kubalulekile ukuthi sizitshele ukuthi “sime” futhi sifunde okwenzeka ezingqondweni zethu nokuthi lithini izwi lomgxeki. Kuyafaneleka ukuzibuza ukuthi leli zwi linenjongo kangakanani, futhi hlobo luni lomsebenzi noma umthetho obangela umuzwa wecala. Ingabe le mithetho, okulindelekile esahlulelwa ngakho umgxeki wangaphakathi, isiphelelwe yisikhathi? Mhlawumbe manje sesakhe imibono emisha mayelana nendlela yokwenza.

Futhi, yiqiniso, kubalulekile ukunquma imiphumela yokusebenzisa umthetho esimweni esithile. Imiphi imiphumela yako yesikhathi esifushane neyesikhathi eside kithi nakwabanye abantu abahilelekile? Ingabe lo mthetho unengqondo, uma unikezwe ukuthi uzolimaza futhi usize bani? Umuntu angazibuza ukuthi iyasifanelekela yini lamuhla, ukuthi iyasinceda yini ukuthi sanelise izidingo zethu eziqakatheke kakhulu.

Lapho siqaphela ukuthi yini futhi kanjani enethonya ekuziphatheni kwethu, kuba nokwenzeka ukuzikhethela, ngokuhambisana nalokho esikuthandayo kanye nezindinganiso zethu. Ngenxa yalokho, singase sibe nomuzwa wenkululeko eyengeziwe kanye nekhono lokuthonya ukuphila kwethu. Ngakho-ke, ukuzijabulisa okunecala kungaletha injabulo eyengeziwe kanye nokuzenzekela ezimpilweni zethu futhi kube izinyathelo eziya ekuphileni esiziklama ngokwethu, ukwenqaba lokho osekuphelelwe yisikhathi futhi okungasizuzisi, kususe okwakunengqondo esikhathini esidlule, futhi kulethe lokho-okuthile okusha.

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Ngakhula kudala, futhi imingcele enezisusa ezinhle eyabekwa ekhanda lami isankenteza engqondweni yami. Futhi mina, kakade ngingumuntu omdala, ngingenza ukukhetha okuqaphelayo: yiba nesineke futhi ulethe i-pie ekhaya ukuze uyidle ngokuzenzela (ugogo, uzoziqhenya ngami!) I-Borscht, noma uyibhubhise lapho uhamba, uthole injabulo enkulu, kukhuliswa umuzwa ofanayo wobungane wombungu owenqatshelwe. Umzwelo, njengoba wazi, ngezinye izikhathi uyisinongo esingcono kakhulu senjabulo encane.