Okuqukethwe
Kulula ukonakalisa umbono wokuqala lapho uhlangana. Ikakhulukazi uma u-introvert futhi i-interlocutor yakho iyi-extrovert. Sixoshana kanjani futhi kamuva singashintsha imiqondo yethu mayelana nokwazana okusha?
Uza ukuzovakashela futhi ubone abantu abaningi abasha osazohlangana nabo. Uyababuka - futhi amehlo akho avele abambe othile ongeke neze uxhumane naye namuhla! Ukuthole kanjani lokhu futhi kungani, ngaphandle kokukhuluma nomuntu omusha omaziyo, wenqaba ngokushesha ukuxhumana?
Impendulo ingase ihlale obala uma ungumuntu ongeyena umuntu, futhi lowo osheshe wambona njengomuntu ongakufanelekeli ukukhulumisana uyisixhwanguxhwangu, kusho umhlaziyi wokuziphatha uJack Schafer.
“Ama-Extroverts abonakala ezethemba, edelela, egomela futhi ekhukhumele kubantu abaqalayo. Ama-introverts, ngokombono wabadayisi, ayisicefe futhi athule, awajwayelwanga emphakathini, ”kusho uSchafer. Futhi kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uthini, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uziphatha kanjani esikhathini esizayo, zonke izenzo zakho zizocatshangelwa nge-prism yombono wokuqala.
Siyajabula lapho abasizungezile bexoxa ngombono wethu ngokuphila. Ngakho-ke kuvela ukuthi ama-extroverts nama-introverts ngokuvamile awanayo imizwa efudumele ngomunye nomunye. Ukunaka kwabokuqala kukhangwa izwe langaphandle, laba bagcina ulwazi lwabo lwangaphakathi lugxile. Ngaphezu kwalokho, umthombo oyinhloko wamandla we-extrovert ukuxhumana nabanye, kuyilapho i-introvert, ivuka ekuseni "ngebhethri egcwele ngokugcwele", iphelile ngokuphelele kusihlwa ngenxa yokuxhumana nabanye. Futhi ukuze athole amandla, udinga ukuthula - futhi okungcono isizungu esincane.
cabanga, yizwa, khuluma
Umehluko wendlela yokuphila kanye nombono wezwe ongabangela ukungakhululeki phakathi kwabantu ababili “abasemapalini” ahlukene, kusho uJack Schafer.
Ngokungafani nama-extroverts, abatshela abanye ngokuthula futhi ngezinye izikhathi ngentokozo mayelana nokuhlangenwe nakho kwabo, abantu abaqalayo abavamile ukulungele ukuhlanganyela imizwa yabo. Futhi ukucasuka okubangelwa abantu abajwayele ukuhlangana nabo kungaqongelela ngaphakathi kwabo isikhathi eside kakhulu. Futhi kuphela lapho i-introvert ingasakwazi ukuzibamba, inikeza i-extrovert ngohlu "lwezono" zakhe. Futhi kungaba banzi impela!
Ama-extroverts amaningi athanda ukuqeda imishwana eshiwo u-interlocutor.
Ingabe ama-extroverts acasula kanjani ama-introverts uma kuziwa emhlanganweni wokuqala?
Bavame ukusho abakucabangayo ngaphandle kokukhathazeka kakhulu ngemizwa yabanye. Ama-introverts, ngakolunye uhlangothi, avame ukucabanga kuqala ngokuthi aveze yini imicabango yawo, futhi awaqondi ngempela ukuthi ungaziba kanjani okuhlangenwe nakho kwabanye.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, ama-extroverts amaningi athanda ukuqeda imishwana eshiwo yi-interlocutor. Ama-introverts, ngakolunye uhlangothi, akhetha ukuhlanganisa inkulumo yabo ngokumisa kancane ukuze bacije imicabango yabo, bafinyelele ekupheleleni. Futhi ngokuqinisekile abazivumeli ukuba bacabangele abanye. Lapho i-extrovert ngokuzumayo iphazamisa umxhumanisi futhi iqeda inkulumo yakhe, introvert uzizwa ephoxekile.
Nikeza elinye ithuba
Ngeshwa, umbono wokuqala unzima kakhulu ukushintsha, uchwepheshe ugcizelela. Futhi uma ekuqaleni kokuxhumana sinombono ongemuhle ngomunye, cishe ngeke sifune ukuqhubeka nengxoxo noma sihlangane naye futhi. Futhi ngaphandle komhlangano ophindaphindiwe, othela izithelo kakhulu futhi omnandi, angeke kukhulunywe nganoma yiziphi izinguquko.
Kunesinye isimo esibalulekile. Lapho siqala ukubona othile ngomuntu, kuba nzima ngathi ukushintsha umqondo wethu. Phela ukuvuma ukuthi lowo okhuluma naye angeke abe mubi kangako wukuvuma ukuthi senze iphutha ekwahluleleni kwethu. Futhi, ukuhlala sithembekile kumbono wokuqala, sizizwa sincane ukukhathazeka kunokuba sinqume ukuvuma ukuthi sasinephutha, uchwepheshe uqinisekile.
Ukuqonda ukuthi izinhlobo ezahlukene zabantu zixhumana kanjani kuzosisiza ukuthi sixhumane nabanye.
Singalusebenzisa kanjani lolu lwazi ekuphileni kwangempela? Okokuqala, uma sikhumbula umehluko ekuziphatheni phakathi kwama-extroverts nama-introverts, ngeke sikhathazeke kakhulu ngezizathu zokuthi kungani singamthandi umuntu. Mhlawumbe “usuka kwelinye ibhokisi lesihlabathi”.
Okwesibili, ukuqonda ukuthi izinhlobo ezahlukene zabantu zixhumana kanjani kuzosisiza ukuthi sixhumane nabanye. Mhlawumbe sizoqikelela kakhulu ngabanye noma sikwazi ukwamukela izici ezingavamile zokuxhumana kwabo.
Mayelana Nombhali: UJack Schafer ungumhlaziyi wokuziphatha.