Imizwa yethu iyisibuko sezinkolelo zethu. Ngokushintsha izinkolelo, ungakwazi ukulawula isimo sakho, imizwa yakho, imizwelo yakho eminingi. Uma umuntu ekholelwa ukuthi: "Ayikho into efana nokusa okuhle!", Ngokushesha noma kamuva uzofeza lokho njalo ekuseni uyoba nobumnyama njalo. Inkolelo ethi "Ukuphila kufana nedube - nakanjani kuzoba khona elimnyama ngemuva komugqa omhlophe!" - nakanjani izovusa isizinda sokucindezeleka ngemva kwezinsuku ezinomoya ophezulu. Inkolelo ethi "Uthando alukwazi ukuhlala phakade!" iphushela eqinisweni lokuthi umuntu akayilandeli imizwa yakhe futhi iyamlahlekela. Ngokuvamile, inkolelo ethi “Imizwa ayikwazi ukulawulwa” (inketho ethi “Imizwa iyingozi ukuyilawula”) nayo iholela ekuwohlokeni kwethoni yemizwa.
Uma ungathandi noma yimiphi imizwa yakho, zama ukuthola ukuthi iyiphi inkolelo ebonisayo futhi uthole ukuthi le nkolelo ilungile yini.
Ngokwesibonelo, intombazane yayiphatheke kabi kakhulu ngoba yathatha indawo yesithathu kuphela emncintiswaneni. Iyini inkolelo ebangela lokhu? Mhlawumbe "kufanele ngenze KONKE kangcono kunanoma ubani omunye." Uma le nkolelo isuswa futhi kufakwe engokoqobo: “Indawo yesithathu iyindawo efanelekile. Futhi uma ngiziqeqesha, indawo yami izoba phezulu. Ukulandela lokhu, imizwelo izoshintsha, iqinise, nakuba, mhlawumbe, hhayi ngokushesha.
Ukusebenza ngezinkolelo endleleni yokuziphatha kwengqondo ka-A. Ellis, ingxenye enkulu, kukholisa amaklayenti ukuthi akekho owakweleta okuthile, akuzange kuwathembise, futhi akukho muntu ongacasulwa nguye. "Kungani umhlaba ungithathele indodana yami?" - "Futhi ukuthathaphi ukuthi indodana yakho iyohlala inawe?" "Kodwa lokho akulungile, akunjalo?" "Futhi ubani okuthembisile ukuthi umhlaba ulungile?" - izingxoxo ezinjalo zidlalwa ngezikhathi ezithile, zishintsha kuphela okuqukethwe kwazo.
Izinkolelo ezingenangqondo zivame ukwakhiwa kakade ebuntwaneni futhi zibonakaliswa yizimfuno ezinganele kuwe, kwabanye kanye nezwe elizungezile. Ngokuvamile zisekelwe ku-narcissism noma ku-grandeur complex. U-Ellis (1979a, 1979b; u-Ellis noHarper, 1979) uchaza lezi zidingo-zenkolelo njengeziyisisekelo ezintathu «Kumelwe»: «Kumelwe: (ukuphumelela ebhizinisini, ngithole imvume yabanye, njll.)», "Kufanele: ( uphathe mina kahle, ngithande, njll.)”, “Umhlaba kufanele: (unginike ngokushesha futhi kalula lokho engikufunayo, ungiphathe kahle, njll.).
Ngendlela ye-synton, ukusebenza nendikimba yezinkolelo eyinhloko kwenzeka ngeSimemezelo Sokwamukelwa Kweqiniso: idokhumenti ehlanganisa zonke izinkolelo ezivame kakhulu mayelana nokuphila nabantu.