Wonke umuntu uyazi ukuthi ubuhlungu obungokomzimba buyini. Kodwa abaningi bayakhohlwa ngobuhlungu obungokomzwelo, obubangela ukuhlupheka okuncane. Futhi ukuze usize umuntu abhekane nakho, udinga ukwazi ukumsekela ngendlela efanele. Kwenziwa kanjani?
Ubuhlungu bomzwelo abukho kuphela kanye nobuhlungu bomzimba. Lapho umphathi wakho ememeza emsebenzini, lapho umngane wakho omkhulu engakwazi ukuza ephathini yosuku lokuzalwa, lapho ijazi lakho olithandayo lidatshulwa, lapho ingane yehla iphethwe umkhuhlane. Izimo ezinjalo ziningi, futhi abantu abaningi, bezama ukusekela abathandekayo, benza amaphutha amakhulu.
Izindlela ezingasebenzi zokusekela abanye
1. Sizama ukuqonda izizathu
Lapha futhi manje bazama ukuthola ukuthi kwenzeka kanjani ukuthi othandekayo abanjwe ngehuku futhi aklebhule ibhantshi lakhe. Mhlawumbe ubengabhekile nje ukuthi uyaphi? Le ndlela ayisebenzi ngoba umuntu osecasukile manje, eqinile, ekhathazekile, akanandaba nakancane ngokwenzekile. Mubi nje.
2. Sinciphisa ubuhlungu bomzwelo.
“Awu, wawukhathazeke ngani, njengomncane, ngenxa yohlobo oluthile lwejazi? Akukho okunye ongakwenza ngaphandle kokukhala ngale nto? Uthenga enye, futhi ngokujwayelekile yayingahambisani nawe futhi yayindala. ” Le ndlela ayisebenzi ngoba ngesikhathi umuntu enolwazi olunzulu akakwazi ukuhlola ubukhulu benkinga futhi azihlanganise. Kunalokho, unomuzwa wokuthi ubuhlungu bakhe abunakwa.
3. Sizama ukusola isisulu
Kunezinketho eziningi lapha. Isibonelo: "Le karma yakho embi, ngoba ijazi lakho lidabukile." Noma: “Yebo, kuyiphutha lakho ukuthi ungeniswe futhi uphume sekwephuzile endlini, uphuthume wamosha into.” Uma umuntu oseke wathwala kanzima ethwele kanzima, kuba nzima nakakhulu kuye.
Izindlela Eziphumelelayo Zokusekela
Okokuqala, kufanele ngiqaphele ukuthi kuyadingeka ukusekela owesilisa nowesifazane ngezindlela ezahlukene.
I-algorithm yokuhlinzeka ngosizo lokuqala lwemizwa kumuntu wesilisa
Amadoda ayancisha kakhulu ngemizwa. Lokhu kunezizathu ezimbili eziyinhloko:
- Umzimba wesilisa ukhiqiza i-oxytocin ne-cortisol encane (amahomoni okunamathiselwe kanye nokukhathazeka), kodwa amahomoni entukuthelo amaningi kakhulu - i-testosterone ne-adrenaline. Ngakho-ke, kunzima kakhulu ngamadoda ukuba abe nozwela nobubele, futhi maningi amathuba okuba abonise ulaka.
- Abafana bafundiswa kusukela ebuntwaneni ukuthi «amadoda awakhali. Ezweni besilisa, izinyembezi zibhekwa njengobuthakathaka, njenganoma yikuphi ukubonakaliswa kwemizwelo. Lokhu akusho ukuthi amadoda awezwa lutho, kodwa avame ukucindezela imizwa yawo. Ngakho-ke, akulula ukweseka owesilisa, ikakhulukazi owesifazane. Ngeke akhale akhulume. Phela kuphambi kowesifazane amthandayo ukuthi ufuna ukubukeka enamandla futhi kuyena ukuthi uyesaba kakhulu ukukhombisa ubuthakathaka bakhe.
Ngokusekelana, amadoda ngokuvamile avele athule azi. Abasho lutho, abafuni lutho. Ilinde ngesineke umngane ukuthi akwazi ukukhama ibinzana elilodwa noma amabili ancishanayo. Futhi lapho kugqashuka, ingxoxo yenhliziyo nenhliziyo ingenzeka. Futhi abangani banganikeza iseluleko, kodwa kuphela esiwusizo futhi kuphela lapho bebuzwa ngakho.
Nginikeza izinyathelo zosizo lokuqala owesilisa:
- Dala isimo sokunaka, ukufudumala, ukuvuleka, kodwa ungasho lutho futhi ungabuzi lutho. Alinde aze afune ukukhuluma.
- Lalela ngaphandle kokuphazamisa noma ukuthinta. Noma yikuphi ukugona, ukuphulula phakathi nengxoxo, indoda izobona njengokubonakaliswa kwesihawu, futhi iyamlulaza.
- Lapho eqeda, cabangisisa futhi unikeze iseluleko esifushane kodwa esinembile. Kuyoba usizo ukukhumbula izimpumelelo zesikhathi esidlule zomuntu, ukumkhumbuza ukuthi usevele wanqoba ubunzima obunzima. Lokhu kuzosiza ukubuyisela ukholo kuwe, futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo ubonise ukuthi akabhekwa njengobuthakathaka, bayakholelwa kuye.
I-algorithm yokuhlinzeka ngosizo lokuqala lwemizwa kowesifazane
Ngiphakamisa ukwenza okulandelayo:
- Hlala eduze.
- Bambane, bambathe ekhanda.
- Ithi: “Ngizovele ngihlale eduze kwakho, ngeke ngikushiye, ngeke ngiye ndawo. Ngiyaqonda ukuthi usezinhlungwini. Ungamemeza, uthukuthele, ukhale - lokhu kuyinto evamile.
- Lalela konke umuntu wesifazane afuna ukukusho ungamphazamisi. Akhale. Imizwa yethu ngayinye ihambisana nokuziphatha okuthile. Uma wamukela ukuthi kulungile ukumamatheka uma ujabulile, kumele ukwamukele ukuthi kulungile ukukhala uma kubuhlungu.
Uma indoda ithanda owesifazane wayo, uma ingenandaba nobuhlungu bakhe, izomvumela ukuba akhulume, aveze imizwelo ngezinyembezi. Izonikeza lokho kuzwela komuntu okulula okukuvumela ukuthi ubuyele ngokuzethemba ezinyaweni zakho futhi. Futhi lapho ezolile, yena ngokwakhe uzoqonda ukuthi iyini imbangela yenkinga, ngubani onecala, indlela yokuvimbela izimo ezinjalo esikhathini esizayo. Uma ngikhuluma ngale ndlela yokunikeza usizo lokuqala ngokomzwelo kwabesifazane, u-99% wabo uphendula ngokuthi ezikhathini ezinzima zokuphila bayakudinga lokhu.