Abantu bayahlangana, bathandane futhi ngesinye isikhathi banquma ukuhlala ndawonye. Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uChristine Northam, umbhangqwana osemusha, uRose noSam, noJean Harner, umbhali wencwadi ethi Clean Home, Clean Heart, bakhuluma ngendlela yokwenza lula inqubo yokujwayelana.
Ukuhlala ndawonye nomlingani akuyona nje injabulo yokwabelana ngesidlo sakusihlwa, ukubukela imibukiso ye-TV kanye nobulili obuvamile. Lesi yisidingo sokuhlala wabelane ngombhede kanye nesikhala sefulethi nomunye umuntu. Futhi inemikhuba nezici eziningi obungazi nakwazi ngazo ngaphambilini.
UChristine Northam uqinisekile ukuthi ngaphambi kokuxoxa ngokuhlalisana nomlingani wakho, udinga ukuziphendulela ngokwethembeka umbuzo wokuthi kungani udinga ukuthatha lesi sinyathelo.
“Lesi yisinqumo esibucayi esibandakanya ukuzincisha egameni lezithakazelo zomuntu othandana naye, ngakho-ke kubalulekile ukubheka ukuthi uyafuna yini ukuhlala nalo muntu iminyaka eminingi. Kungenzeka ukuthi ubanjwe yimizwa yakho,” kuchaza yena. - Ngokuvamile umuntu oyedwa kuphela kumbhangqwana olungele ubuhlobo obungathi sína, kanti owesibili uboleka ukukholisa. Kuyadingeka ukuthi bobabili abalingani bafuna lokhu futhi babone ubucayi besinyathelo esinjalo. Xoxa ngazo zonke izici zempilo yakho yesikhathi esizayo ndawonye nophathina wakho.”
U-Alice, 24, noPhilip, 27, bathandana isikhathi esingangonyaka futhi bathuthela ndawonye esikhathini esingangonyaka nengxenye edlule.
“UPhilip wayeqeda isivumelwano sokuqasha indawo yokuhlala, futhi sacabanga: kungani singazami ukuhlala ndawonye? Sasingazi ngempela ukuthi silindeleni ekuphileni ndawonye. Kodwa uma ungazifaki engozini, ubuhlobo ngeke bukhule,” kusho u-Alice.
Manje abantu abasha sebevele "basetshenziswa". Baqasha izindlu ndawonye futhi bahlela ukuthenga indawo yokuhlala eminyakeni embalwa, kodwa ekuqaleni, kwakungeyona yonke into eyayihamba kahle.
Ngaphambi kokuthatha isinqumo ngokuhlala ndawonye, kubalulekile ukuthola uhlobo lobuntu bomlingani, umvakashele, ubone ukuthi uphila kanjani.
“Ekuqaleni wangicasula uPhilip ngoba engafuni ukuhlambuluka. Wakhulela emadodeni, futhi ngakhulela phakathi kwabesifazane, futhi kwadingeka sifunde okuningi komunye nomunye, ”kukhumbula u-Alice. UPhilip uyavuma ukuthi kwadingeka ahleleke kakhudlwana, futhi intombi yakhe kwadingeka yamukele iqiniso lokuthi indlu yayingeke ihlanzeke ngokuphelele.
UJean Harner uqinisekile: ngaphambi kokwenza isinqumo mayelana nokuhlala ndawonye, kubalulekile ukunaka uhlobo lobuntu bomlingani. Mvakashele, ubone ukuthi uphila kanjani. “Uma uzizwa ungakhululekile ngenxa yesiphithiphithi esikuzungezile, noma, ngokuphambene, wesaba ukuwisa imvuthuluka endaweni ehlanzekile ngokuphelele, kufanele ucabange ngakho. Imikhuba nezinkolelo zabantu abadala kunzima ukuzishintsha. Zama ukuxoxisana ngezivumelwano ngamunye wenu azimisele ukuzenza. Xoxani ngezidingo zomunye nomunye kusengaphambili.”
UChristine Northam usikisela ukuthi imibhangqwana ehlela ukuphila ndawonye ivumelana ngokuthi izokwenzani uma imikhuba, izimfuno noma izinkolelo zomunye wabo ziba yisikhubekiso.
“Uma kusavela izingxabano zasekhaya, zama ukungasolani njengoba kushisa. Ngaphambi kokuxoxa ngenkinga, udinga "ukupholisa" kancane. Kuphela lapho intukuthelo isiphelile, ungahlala phansi etafuleni lokuxoxisana ukuze ulalele umbono womunye nomunye, "weluleka futhi ameme abalingani ukuba bakhulume ngemizwa yabo futhi babe nesithakazelo embonweni womlingani:" Ngaphatheka kabi lapho ngibona intaba. wezingubo ezingcolile phansi. Ucabanga ukuthi kukhona okungenziwa ukuze lokhu kungenzeki futhi?
Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, u-Alice noPhilip bavuma ukuthi ngamunye uzoba nendawo yakhe embhedeni nasetafuleni lokudla. Lokhu kwasusa ukungqubuzana phakathi kwabo.
Ukuhlala ndawonye kuletha ubudlelwano ezingeni elisha, lokwethembana. Futhi lobo budlelwano kufanele kusetshenzwe kubo.
Umthombo: Independent.