Izingxabano nabangani — indlela yokulondoloza ubungane

Maye, ngokungafani nabalingiswa be-sitcom abathi isikhathi ngasinye bakwazi ukuxazulula zonke izingxabano nabangane ekupheleni kwesiqephu semizuzu engama-30 ngosizo lobuhlakani nobuhlakani, asikwazi njalo ukuzungeza zonke izinkinga ebuhlotsheni bobungani ngomusa onjalo.

Eqinisweni, imibono yethu, okubhekwayo nezenzo kuhlukile. Lokhu kusho ukuthi uma singabangane nomuntu isikhathi eside ngokwanele, izingxabano azinakugwenywa.

Okwamanje lapho ukungezwani okukhulayo kuvela phezulu, sivame ukwethuka, singazi ukuthi kufanele sisabele kanjani: siyizibe inkinga, sinethemba lokuthi ekugcineni izonyamalala ngokwayo? zama ukuxoxa ngakho konke? linda ubone ukuthi kwenzekani?

Labo abavame ukugwema ukungqubuzana zama ukuziqhelelanisa nabangane ngemva kwengxabano. Ekuqaleni, lokhu kungase kubonakale njengesinqumo esinengqondo, ngoba ibanga lizosisindisa ekucindezelekeni noma ukucaciswa okungadingekile kobudlelwane. Nokho, ngokuxosha umngane, sivame ukudela ukusondelana ngokomzwelo futhi, ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, sibe sengozini yokulahlekelwa ubungane ngokuphelele. Ingasaphathwa, ukuqoqwa kokucindezeleka nokukhathazeka kubi empilweni yethu.

Ngenhlanhla, zikhona izindlela zokuxazulula izingxabano ngaphandle kokulahlekelwa abangane. Nazi ezimbalwa zazo.

1. Xoxa ngesimo ngokushesha lapho isikhathi sesilungile

Ekuqaleni kwengxabano, lapho imizwa iphakama, kuwukuhlakanipha ukuthatha ikhefu elifushane ekukhulumeni. Kungenzeka ukuthi ngalesi sikhathi wena noma umngane wakho anikulungele ukulalela nokwamukela imibono yomunye nomunye. Kodwa lokhu kumiswa akumele kube kude kakhulu.

Kungakapheli usuku lokungqubuzana noma ukungezwani ebudlelwaneni, shayela ucingo noma uthumele umlayezo wombhalo futhi uveze ngamagama alula lokho okuxolisayo nalokho ongathanda: “Ngiyaxolisa ngokwenzekile futhi ngifuna ukulungisa konke”, “ Ubungane bethu bubalulekile kimina”, “Ake sixoxe ngakho konke ngokushesha ngangokunokwenzeka.”

2. Akudingekile ukuxoxa nokuxazulula zonke izinkinga ngesikhathi esisodwa

Ngezinye izikhathi kubonakala kithi ukuthi ikusasa lonke lobudlelwano bethu obunobungane lincike ngokuphelele engxoxweni eyodwa enzima kakhulu futhi enzima. Kodwa, njengoba nje ubungane ngokwabo bukhula kancane kancane, kanjalo nekhambi eliphelele lezinkinga lithatha isikhathi. Ngezinye izikhathi kuyafaneleka ukuxoxa kafushane ngenkinga, uzinike isikhathi sokucabanga ngayo bese ubuyela kule ngxoxo kamuva. Ukuxazulula izinkinga kancane kancane kuyinto evamile.

3. Bonisa uzwela ngemizwa yomngane wakho

Ngisho nalapho singavumelani nalokho abakuphawulile noma iziphetho zabangane bethu, singazama ukuqonda imizwa yabo nokuhlangenwe nakho kwabo. Singakwazi ukulandelela ulimi lwabo lomzimba ngesikhathi sengxoxo, sinake iphimbo labo kanye nesimo sobuso. Zama ukuphendula noma yiziphi izimpawu zobuhlungu, ukungaphatheki kahle, noma intukuthelo (“Ngiyaqonda ukuthi ucasukile, futhi ngiyaxolisa kakhulu ngokuthi uphatheke kabi ngakho”).

4. Yazi ukulalela

Lalela konke umngane wakho akusho kuwe ngaphandle kokummisa noma ukumphazamisa. Uma okuthile emazwini akhe kukubangela imizwelo enamandla, zama ukuyibamba uze ukuqonde ngokugcwele konke umngane wakho afuna ukukusho kuwe. Uma kukhona okungacacile, buza futhi. Zama ukuthola ukuthi yini umngane wakho anethemba lokuphuma kule ngxoxo noma yini ayidingayo ukuze azizwe engcono ngaye.

5. Khuluma ngokucacile nakafushane

Ngemva kwakho, ngaphandle kokuphazamisa, lalela konke obufuna ukukusho, kuyoba yithuba lakho lokuhlanganyela imizwa nemicabango yakho. Zama ukuveza umcabango wakho ngokucacile nangokungagwegwesi ngangokunokwenzeka, kodwa ngaphandle kokulimaza imizwa yomngane.

Okokuqala, khuluma ngemizwa yakho kanye nokuhlangenwe nakho kwakho, futhi ungaphonsi izinsolo. Gwema imishwana efana nokuthi “Uhlale wenza lokhu” noma “Awukwenzi lokhu”, izokhulisa inkinga futhi iphazamise ukuxazululwa kwezingxabano.

6. Zama ukuthatha umbono ohlukile

Asivumelani ngaso sonke isikhathi nemibono yabangane, kodwa kumelwe sikwazi ukuqaphela ilungelo labo lombono ohlukile kowethu. Kumelwe sihloniphe imibono yabangane nelungelo labo lokungavumelani nathi. Ngisho noma singavumelani nakho konke umngane wethu akushoyo, kungase kube nokuthile emazwini akhe esikulungele ukuvumelana nakho.

Okokugcina, lapho ukungqubuzana kwamanje sekuphelile ngangokunokwenzeka okwamanje, vumela isikhathi sokuba ubudlelwano bululame ngokugcwele. Qhubekani nenza enithanda ukukwenza ndawonye. Imizwelo emihle evela ekukhulumisaneni kobungane ngokuhamba kwesikhathi izosiza ekuxazululeni ukungezwani okusele.