Intengo Yobudlelwano
Uma ucabanga ngakho, umshado womphakathi ulula kakhulu. Manje nalabo abaneminyaka engaphezu kuka-30 abajahile ukushada. Mhlawumbe lokhu kuyaphinda kuqinisekisa ukuthi ubuhlobo babo abukho sína, futhi abafuni ukuthatha izibopho. Ngokwezibalo, manje isilinganiso seminyaka yokushada kwabesifazane sineminyaka engu-25, futhi emadodeni - iminyaka engu-27.
Empilweni, akuzona zonke izinto eziphelele. Babengenaso isikhathi sokuhlangana - bashade, babe nezingane, bese kuba namahlazo, ukuxabana, isehlukaniso nokuhlukaniswa kwempahla. Othile uzohamba usesho olulandelayo, futhi othile unengane ezingalweni zakhe. Nansi into ebalulekile yomshado womphakathi - akekho onesikweletu kunoma ubani, ngoba aphi amaphepha asemthethweni neziqinisekiso?
Ingabe umshado uyisivivinyo ebudlelwaneni?
Bonke ubudlelwano buhamba ibanga elide maqondana ukuzwana, ngoba uthando emndenini alwanele ukuthi izithandani zihlale ndawonye. Emshadweni, awukwazi ukugxila enkingeni encane futhi "ubambene" ngalokhu, uthathe konke kube lula. Ngokuvamile imibhangqwana esothandweni ifuna ukuzama futhi ihlole inkolelo yokuthi ngemva kwehhovisi lokubhalisa konke kuyashintsha. Yebo, kuyashintsha, kodwa kuphela uma umbhangqwana ungahlali ndawonye usuku olulodwa. Baqala ukuba nokungavumelani kwasekhaya, ukuntula ukunakwa kanye nezithakazelo ezifanayo. Ukwesaba lezi zinkinga kudonsa izithandani ukuthi zihlale emshadweni womphakathi.
Izici zesimanje
Amantombazane akholelwa ezinganekwaneni ezahlukene, kodwa hhayi enganekwaneni ngomshado ofanelekayo. Ngezinye izikhathi babona kusengaphambili ukuvela kwezinkinga kusengaphambili futhi bazilungiselele ikusasa elilondekile, noma okungenani ukuphila okungenabo ubumpofu. Izibalo ziqinisekisa ukuthi abameleli bobulili obulungile ngokuvamile yibona abaqalisi bezivumelwano zomshado. Kuthiwani uma esethole omunye mina ngisale ngingenalutho?
Kwake kwathathwa owesilisa njengomondli emndenini, kodwa lesi sikhundla sesiphelelwe yisikhathi, ngoba manje bobabili abashadile bathola imali yomndeni. I-charter enjalo ayisebenzi nje ekwenzeni imali, kodwa nasemsebenzini wasekhaya. Kulezi zinsuku, unkosikazi angakhipha udoti, futhi umyeni angapheka isidlo sakusihlwa, ahlanze indlu, noma aye ekhefini lokubeletha ukuze unkosikazi angabeki engcupheni umsebenzi wakhe. Konke lokhu kungabonakala kusesesemshadweni womphakathi.
Kungani umshado osemthethweni usabisa kangaka?
I-Gametophobia ukwesaba umshado. Imibhangqwana eminingi emshadweni womphakathi ihlushwa yikho. Ngokuvamile, umshado obhalisiwe uyesabisa ngomthwalo owengeziwe hhayi kuphela ku-psyche, kodwa nasempilweni yomzimba. Abaningi bakholelwa ukuthi emshadweni womphakathi akudingekile ngokuphelele ukuhlanza ifulethi njengamanje, ukuwasha izingubo noma ukupheka isidlo sakusihlwa. Ungakwenza kamuva, akekho umuntu okufanele acacise. Okunye ukwesaba umshado izindleko ezengeziwe. Kunjalo nje uphila wena ngobuqili, obukufuna yilokhu obuthengile.
Lokhu kwesaba kwanamuhla kuvimbela izithandani eziningi ekuthatheni isinyathelo sabo sokuqala emshadweni osemthethweni. Akekho ofuna ukushintsha indlela evamile yokuphila nendlela yokuphila, kodwa, ngakolunye uhlangothi, uma nithandana kakhulu futhi nihlale isikhathi eside, mhlawumbe sekuyisikhathi sokushada?