Okuqukethwe
Kungenzeka ukuthi uqaphele ukuthi ngezinye izikhathi ugcwele amandla namandla, nakuba usebenze iphrojekthi ethakazelisayo ubusuku bonke, futhi ngezinye izikhathi ulala kungakapheli isikhathi esivamile, kodwa uvuke ekuseni ungenalutho ngokuphelele. Sikhuluma ngezimbangela zokukhathala ezingazi lutho nokuthi ungawuthola kanjani umthombo wenjabulo kuwena.
Ukuphila edolobheni elikhulu, izinkundla zokuxhumana, ukugeleza kolwazi, ukuxhumana nabanye, izinkathazo zansuku zonke kanye nemithwalo yemfanelo akuyona imithombo yethu kuphela yamathuba nezinjabulo, kodwa futhi yengcindezi nokukhathala. Ekuphithizeleni kwansuku zonke, sivame ukuzikhohlwa futhi sizibambe kuphela lapho umzimba unikeza izimpawu ezicacile. Esinye sazo i- chronic fatigue syndrome .
Ukubonisana kuvame ukuhanjelwa amakhasimende athi, uma eqala nje, abe nakho konke ngokuhlelekile empilweni: imfundo ehloniphekile, umsebenzi ohlonishwayo, impilo yomuntu siqu ehleliwe, abangani namathuba okuhamba. Kodwa awekho amandla akho konke lokhu. Umuzwa wokuthi ekuseni bavuka sebekhathele kakade, futhi kusihlwa amabutho ahlala kuphela ukubuka uchungechunge ngesikhathi sokudla nokulala.
Siyini isizathu saleso simo somzimba? Yiqiniso, umuntu akufanele alulaze indlela yokuphila yomuntu. Futhi, abaningi bahlobanisa lesi simo nokungabi khona kwelanga isikhathi eside. Kodwa kunezizathu eziningana ezingokwengqondo ezibangela ukukhathala.
1. Ukucindezelwa kwemizwa nezifiso zakho
Cabanga ukuthi ngemva kosuku emsebenzini, osebenza naye noma umphathi ucele ukuthi uhlale futhi usize ngomcimbi ozayo, futhi unezinhlelo zokuhlwa. Ngasizathu simbe awukwazanga ukwenqaba, wazithukuthelela wena nalabo abagcina bekulesi simo. Njengoba ungajwayele ukukhuluma ngalokho okungahambisani nawe, uvele wacindezela intukuthelo yakho futhi wenza "njengomsizi omuhle" kanye "nesisebenzi esifanelekayo". Nokho, kusihlwa noma ekuseni uzizwa ucindezelekile.
Abaningi bethu bajwayele ukucindezela imizwa yethu. Bathukuthela umlingani ngesicelo esingagcwaliseki, bathula - futhi umzwelo ocindezelwe wangena endaweni yengcebo ye-psyche. Becasulwe umngane ngokufika sekwephuzile, banquma ukungazwakali ukungeneliseki - futhi nasebhange.
Eqinisweni, imizwa iyinzwa enhle kakhulu yalokho okwenzekayo, uma ungakwazi ukuyibona kahle futhi ubone isizathu salokho okubangele.
Imizwelo esingazange siyiveze, esingazange siyizwe, icindezelekile kithi, ingena emzimbeni futhi sonke isisindo sayo iwela phezu kwethu. Sizwa nje lobu bunzima emzimbeni njenge-chronic fatigue syndrome.
Ngezifiso esingazivumeli, kwenzeka okufanayo. Ku-psyche, njengasemkhunjini, ukungezwani nokunganeliseki kuyanqwabelana. Ukucindezeleka kwengqondo akubi kangako kunomzimba. Ngakho-ke, i-psyche isitshela ukuthi ukhathele futhi sekuyisikhathi sokuba ethule.
2. Isifiso sokufeza okulindelwe abanye
Ngamunye wethu uhlala emphakathini, ngakho-ke uhlala ethonywa imibono nokuhlolwa kwabanye. Yebo, kuhle kakhulu lapho besincoma futhi besivumela. Kodwa-ke, lapho singena endleleni yokuhlangabezana nokulindelwe ngomunye umuntu (abazali, umlingani, umlingani womshado, noma abangani), siyashuba.
Kufihlwe kulokhu kushuba ukwesaba ukwehluleka, ukucindezelwa kwezidingo zomuntu ngenxa yezifiso zabanye, nokukhathazeka. Injabulo namandla esiwanikezwa yindumiso uma kwenzeka impumelelo igcina ingabi yinde njengenkathi yokushuba, bese ithathelwa indawo yithemba elisha. Ukucindezeleka okweqile kuhlale kubheka indlela yokuphuma, futhi ukukhathala okungapheli kungenye yezinketho eziphephile.
3. Indawo enobuthi
Kuyenzeka futhi ukuthi silandele izifiso kanye nemigomo yethu, siyaziqaphela thina. Nokho, endaweni yethu kunabantu ababukela phansi impumelelo yethu. Esikhundleni sokusekelwa, sithola ukugxekwa okungenampilo, futhi basabela emibonweni yethu ngayinye "ngeqiniso elinemibandela", bengabaza ukuthi singakwazi ukufeza izinhlelo zethu. Abantu abanjalo banobuthi kithi, futhi, ngeshwa, phakathi kwabo kungase kube abathandekayo bethu - abazali, abangani noma umlingani.
Ukubhekana nomuntu onobuthi kuthatha inani elikhulu lezinsiza.
Ukuchaza nokuvikela imibono yethu, asigcini ngokukhathala, kodwa futhi silahlekelwa ukholo kithi. Kungase kubonakale, ngubani, uma engavaliwe, "angakwazi" ukweluleka okuthile?
Yiqiniso, kufanelekile ukukhuluma nomuntu, uthole isizathu sokusabela kwakhe okubukhali namazwi futhi umcele ukuba aveze umbono wakhe ngendlela eyakhayo, ukuze akusekele. Kungenzeka ukuthi lokhu ukwenza engazi, ngoba yena ngokwakhe wayekhulunywe ngale ndlela ngaphambili futhi wakha imodeli yokuziphatha efanele. Sekunesikhathi eside emjwayela kangangoba akasayiboni indlela asabela ngayo.
Kodwa-ke, uma u-interlocutor engakulungele ukuyekethisa futhi engayiboni inkinga, sibhekene nokukhetha: ukunciphisa ukuxhumana noma ukuqhubeka nokuchitha amandla ukuvikela izithakazelo zethu.
Ungazisiza kanjani?
Imizwa ebukhoma, lungele ukuzwa noma yimiphi yayo. Funda ukuveza imizwa yakho kwabanye ngendlela evumelana nemvelo futhi wenqabe izicelo uma kunesidingo. Funda ukukhuluma ngezifiso zakho nangalokho okungamukeleki kuwe.
Noma iyiphi indlela ekususa kuwe iletha ukungezwani, futhi umzimba ngokushesha ukukhomba lokhu. Uma kungenjalo, uzoqonda kanjani ukuthi okwenzayo kuyakulimaza?
Okulindelwe omunye umuntu kuwumthwalo wakhe wemfanelo. Akabhekane nazo yedwa. Ungabeki isihluthulelo sokuthula kwakho kwengqondo ezandleni zalabo abafuna ukuphila ngokuvumelana nakho. Yenza okusemandleni akho futhi uzinike imvume yokwenza amaphutha.
Akunzima ukuthola umthombo wenjabulo kuwena. Ukuze wenze lokhu, kuyadingeka ukuthola nokunciphisa izimbangela zokulahlekelwa amandla.
Qala ukuzinaka kakhulu futhi uhlaziye, emva kwalokho uba nesimo sokungabi nalutho. Mhlawumbe awuzange ulale isonto lonke? Noma awuzizwa yini kangangokuthi umzimba awuzange uthole enye indlela yokudonsela ukunaka kwakho kuwo?
Izimo zengqondo nezomzimba zincike komunye nomunye, njengezakhi zento eyodwa - umzimba wethu. Lapho nje siqala ukuqaphela futhi sishintshe lokho okungasifanelanga, umzimba uyasabela ngokushesha: isimo sethu sengqondo siyathuthuka futhi kukhona amandla engeziwe okuphumelela okusha.