Ungajahi ukuphendula ngokuvuma. Iningi lethu lingama-physiognomists angabalulekile. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ucwaningo lubonisa ukuthi abesifazane, ikakhulukazi abakhanga ngokobulili, bathambekele kakhulu eziphethweni eziyiphutha kunabesilisa.
Uke waphawula ukuthi abanye abantu bahlale bebukeka sengathi bathukuthele noma bacasukile? Amahemuhemu afaka lesi sici ezinkanyezini ezinjengoVictoria Beckham, uKristin Stewart, Kanye West. Kodwa lokhu akusho ukuthi empeleni abaneliseki phakade ngezwe noma nalabo ababazungezile. Sizifaka engozini yokwenza iphutha lapho sizama ukwahlulela imizwelo yangempela yomuntu kuphela ngesisekelo sobuso bakhe.
Izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo ezivela e-Arizona State University zenze uchungechunge lwesivivinyo ukuze ziqonde ukuthi amadoda nabesifazane bayibona kanjani intukuthelo ebusweni futhi yimuphi kubo othambekele ekubeni namaphutha “ekucaciseni” isimo sobuso.
Sibakhohlisa futhi sibakhohlisa kanjani abanye
Zama i-1
Abahlanganyeli abangu-218 kwadingeka bacabange ukuthi bathukuthelele umuntu abangamazi noma umuntu angamazi. Babezosabela kanjani ngaphandle kokukhuluma kulokhu? Kube nezinketho ezi-4 ongakhetha kuzo: isimo sobuso esijabulisayo, ukucasuka, ukwethuka noma ukungathathi hlangothi. Amadoda aphendula ngokuthi kuzo zombili izimo ubuso bawo buyobonisa intukuthelo. Impendulo efanayo yanikezwa abesifazane, becabanga ngomfokazi owayebacasulile. Kodwa ngokuqondene nomfokazi ocatshangelwayo, ababambiqhaza ekuhlolweni baphendule ngokuthi cishe ngeke babonise ukuthi bamthukuthelele, okungukuthi, bazogcina isimo sokungathathi hlangothi ebusweni babo.
Zama i-2
Abahlanganyeli abangu-88 baboniswe izithombe ezingu-18 zabantu abahlukene, bonke laba bantu babenesimo sobuso esingathathi hlangothi. Kodwa-ke, izihloko zatshelwa ukuthi empeleni, abantu esithombeni bazama ukufihla imizwa - intukuthelo, injabulo, ukudabuka, ukuvuswa ngokocansi, ukwesaba, ukuziqhenya. Inselele yayiwukubona imizwelo yangempela ezithombeni. Kuvele ukuthi abesifazane babesemathubeni amaningi okucabanga ukuthi ubuso buveza intukuthelo kunabesilisa, kanti abesifazane abavezwe ezithombeni kuthiwa balomzwelo kaningi kunabesilisa. Kuyathakazelisa ukuthi abesifazane cishe abazange bafunde eminye imizwelo ohlwini oluhlongozwayo.
Zama i-3
Abahlanganyeli abangu-56 bakhonjiswe izithombe ezifanayo. Kwakudingekile ukuwasakaza ngamaqembu: ukuveza intukuthelo efihliwe, injabulo, ukwesaba, ukuziqhenya. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ababambiqhaza bagcwalise uhlu lwemibuzo oluhlola ukuthi bazibheka njengabakhangayo futhi bakhululeke kanjani ngokocansi. Futhi, abesifazane babevame ukuchaza imizwelo yabanye abantu njengentukuthelo.
Labo ababambiqhaza ababezibheka njengabakhangayo ngokobulili futhi bakhululekile bathambekele ngokukhethekile ekuchazeni okunjalo.
Ibonisani le miphumela?
Kunzima kakhulu ngabesifazane kunabesilisa ukubona ukuthi abanye besifazane bathukuthele noma cha. Futhi ngaphezu kwakho konke, abesifazane abakhangayo ngokobulili bathambekele ekwahluleleni okuyiphutha. Kungani lokhu kwenzeka? Umkhondo uvela emiphumeleni yocwaningo lokuqala: lapho abesifazane bethukuthelelana, bakhetha ukugcina inkulumo engathathi hlangothi. Babonakala bekwazi lokhu ngokunembile futhi bahlale beqaphile uma kwenzeka. Yingakho kunzima ngabo ukuthola ukuthi kusho ukuthini inkulumo engathathi hlangothi ebusweni bomunye wesifazane.
Abesifazane banamathuba amaningi okuba nolaka olungaqondile (njengokusabalalisa inhlebo) kwabanye besifazane, futhi ikakhulukazi kwabesifazane abathanda ucansi. Ngakho-ke, labo okuye kwadingeka ukuba babe yizisulu zalolu dlame izikhathi ezingaphezu kwesisodwa balindele ukubanjwa kusengaphambili futhi ngephutha bathi imizwa engenamusa kwabanye besifazane, ngisho nalapho eqinisweni bephathwa ngokungathathi hlangothi.