Emhlabeni wanamuhla, maningi amathuba okuthola abalingani abasha bothando kunangaphambili. Nokho, iningi lethu liyakwazi ukuhlala lithembekile. Kuvela ukuthi akukhona nje ngokuziphatha nezimiso. Ubuchopho buyasivikela ekukhohliseni.
Uma sisothandweni olusifanelayo, ingqondo yenza kube lula kithi ngokunciphisa ukukhanga kwabanye abangaba ozakwethu emehlweni ethu. Lesi yisiphetho esifinyelelwe isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo kwezenhlalakahle uShana Cole (Shana Cole) kanye nozakwabo baseYunivesithi yaseNew York.1. Bahlola izindlela ezingokwengqondo ezisiza ukwethembeka kumlingani.
Ezifundweni zangaphambilini zalolu hlobo, ababambiqhaza babuzwa ngokuqondile ukuthi bakhanga kangakanani abanye abangaba ozakwethu, ngakho-ke kungenzeka ukuthi izimpendulo zabo esihlokweni "esibucayi" esinjalo zingaba yiqiniso.
Ocwaningweni olusha, abacwaningi banqume ukwenza izinto ngendlela ehlukile futhi bangawubuzi umbuzo ngokuqondile.
Abafundi abangu-131 babambe iqhaza ocwaningweni olukhulu. Abahlanganyeli baboniswe izithombe zabantu abangaba ozakwethu baselebhu (bobulili obuhlukile) futhi banikezwa ulwazi olufushane ngabo—ikakhulukazi, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi basebudlelwaneni noma bengashadile. Abafundi babe sebenikezwa izithombe eziningana zomfundi ofanayo base becelwa ukuba bakhethe esifana kakhulu nesokuqala. Abafundi ababengakwazi ukuthi isethi yesibili yezithombe yayihlelwe ngekhompiyutha ngendlela yokuthi kwezinye zazo umuntu abukeke ekhanga kakhulu kunalokho ayeyikho ngempela, kanti kwezinye, engathandeki.
Abahlanganyeli bakubuke kancane ukukhanga kwabangase babe ngabalingani abasha uma beneliseke ngobudlelwano babo.
Abafundi abebesothandweni balinganise ukukhanga kwabangase babe ozakwethu abasha ngaphansi kwezinga langempela. Babheka isithombe sangempela sifana nezithombe «ezehlisiwe».
Lapho isihloko nomuntu osesithombeni bengekho ebudlelwaneni, ukukhanga komuntu osesithombeni kwakukalwe ngaphezu kwesithombe sangempela (isithombe sangempela sasibhekwa njengesifana neso "esithuthukisiwe").
Abafundi abangu-114 babambe iqhaza ocwaningweni lwesibili olufanayo. Ababhali bocwaningo baphinde bathola ukuthi ababambiqhaza babukela phansi ukukhanga kwabangase babe ozakwethu kuphela uma beneliseke ngobudlelwano babo. Labo ababengajabule kakhulu ngobudlelwano babo nomlingani wabo wamanje basabela ngendlela efanayo neyabafundi ababengathandani.
Isho ukuthini le miphumela? Ababhali bakholelwa ukuthi uma sesivele sisebudlelwaneni obuhlala njalo esaneliseka ngabo, ubuchopho bethu busiza ukuhlala sithembekile, busivikele ezilingweni - abantu bobulili obuhlukile (abamahhala nabangase batholakale) babonakala bengathandeki kunalokho abayikho ngempela. .
1 S. Cole et al. «Emehlweni Labashadile: Ukwehliswa Komqondo Kozakwethu Abathile Abathandanayo Abakhangayo», Ibhukwana le-Personality and Social Psychology, July 2016, vol. 42, №7.