Ukumela amalungelo akho kanye nokuzifunela inhlonipho kuwukuziphatha okukhuluma ngomlingiswa onamandla. Kodwa abanye bayeqisa, befuna ukuphathwa ngokukhethekile. Lokhu kuthela izithelo, kodwa hhayi isikhathi eside - ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, abantu abanjalo bangase bahlale bengajabule.
Ngandlela thize, i-video yesigameko esikhumulweni sezindiza yavela kuwebhu: umgibeli ufuna ngokungananazi ukuthi abasebenzi bendiza bamvumele agibele nebhodlela lamanzi. Lezo zibhekisela emithethweni evimbela ukuphatha uketshezi nawe. Umgibeli akahlehli: “Kodwa akhona amanzi angcwele. Uphakamisa ukuthi ngiwalahle amanzi angcwele?" Ingxabano ima nse.
Umgibeli wayazi ukuthi isicelo sakhe sasiphambene nemithetho. Nokho, wayeqinisekile ukuthi kwakungenxa yakhe ukuthi izisebenzi kufanele zenze okuhlukile.
Ngezikhathi ezithile, sonke sihlangana nabantu abadinga ukwelashwa okukhethekile. Bakholelwa ukuthi isikhathi sabo sibaluleke kakhulu kunesikhathi sabanye, izinkinga zabo kufanele zixazululwe kuqala, iqiniso ngaso sonke isikhathi lisohlangothini lwabo. Nakuba lokhu kuziphatha kuvame ukubasiza ukuba bathole indlela yabo, ekugcineni kungaholela ekukhungathekeni.
Ukulangazelela ukuba namandla onke
“Uyazi konke lokhu, wangibona ngakhuliswa kamnandi, angizange ngibekezelele amakhaza nendlala, angisazi isidingo, angizange ngizisebenzele isinkwa futhi ngokuvamile angizange ngenze ukungcola. Pho ulithole kanjani isibindi sokungiqhathanisa nabanye? Ingabe nginayo impilo efana nalezi «abanye»? Ngingakwenza kanjani konke lokhu futhi ngibekezele? - intukuthelo eshiwo uGoncharovsky Oblomov iyisibonelo esihle sokuthi abantu abaqinisekayo ngokuhluka kwabo baphikisana kanjani.
Lapho lokho esikulindele kungafezeki, siba nenzondo ejulile—ngalabo esibathandayo, umphakathi, ngisho nasendaweni yonke ngokwayo.
“Abantu abanjalo ngokuvamile bakhulela ebuhlotsheni be-symbiotic nonina, bezungezwe ukunakekelwa, abajwayele iqiniso lokuthi izifiso nezimfuneko zabo kuhlale kugcwaliseka,” kuchaza isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uJean-Pierre Friedman.
“Lapho sisewusana, sizizwa abanye abantu beyingxenye yethu,” kusho isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo yezingane uTatyana Bednik. — Kancane kancane sijwayelana nezwe langaphandle futhi siyaqonda ukuthi asinawo amandla phezu kwalo. Uma sivikeleke ngokweqile, silindele okufanayo nakwabanye.”
Ukungqubuzana neqiniso
“Uyazi, uhamba kancane. Okubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi udla nsuku zonke.” Izimangalo ngomoya walabo abalingiswa be-Dovlatov "Underwood Solo" ka-Dovlatov abaphikisana nomkakhe zijwayelekile kubantu abanomuzwa wokuzikhethela kwabo. Ubudlelwano abubalethi injabulo: kanjani, umlingani akaqageli izifiso zabo shazi! Engazimisele ukudela izifiso zakhe ngabo!
Lapho lokho okulindelekile kungafezeki, baba nenzondo ejulile—abathandekayo, umphakathi uwonke, ngisho nendawo yonke ngokwayo. Izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo ziphawula ukuthi abantu benkolo abanomuzwa ogxilile wokukhethekile bangase bathukuthelele uNkulunkulu abakholelwa kuye ngokujulile uma yena, ngokombono wabo, engabaniki okubafanele.1.
Izivikelo ezikwenza ungakhuli
Ukudumala kungasongela i-ego, kubangele i-hunch embi, kanye nokukhathazeka okungazi lutho: "Kuthiwani uma ngingakhethekile."
I-psyche ihlelwe ngendlela yokuthi izivikelo ezingokwengqondo ezinamandla kakhulu ziphonswe ukuze kuvikelwe umuntu. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, umuntu uya ngokuya ekude neqiniso: isibonelo, akatholi imbangela yezinkinga zakhe hhayi kuye, kodwa kwabanye (lokhu kusebenza kanjani ukuqagela). Ngakho-ke, isisebenzi esixoshiwe singase sithi umphathi "wasinda" ngenxa yomona wethalente lakhe.
Kulula ukubona kwabanye izimpawu zokuzidla okuyihaba. Kunzima ukuzithola kuwena. Abaningi bakholelwa ebulungiswa bempilo - kodwa hhayi ngokujwayelekile, kodwa ikakhulukazi bona. Sizothola umsebenzi omuhle, amakhono ethu azobongwa, sizonikezwa isaphulelo, yithina esizokhipha ithikithi lenhlanhla kwilotho. Kodwa akekho ongaqinisekisa ukugcwaliseka kwalezi zifiso.
Uma sikholelwa ukuthi umhlaba awusikweleti lutho, asigudluki, kodwa samukela ulwazi lwethu futhi ngaleyo ndlela sithuthukise ukuqina kithina.
1 J. Grubbs et al. «Ilungelo Lokuziphatha: Umthombo Wokuqonda-Wobuntu Wokungcupheni Ekucindezelekeni Kwengqondo», I-Psychological Bulletin, Aug 8, 2016.