Okuqukethwe
Ukusuka ebuqinisweni kuya ebulimani - isinyathelo esisodwa
I-psychology yesimanje yomqondo ojwayelekile wobuntu isijwayele ukumba I-I yeqiniso, yangempela futhi ikhule, ikhulule ekubekweni kwezindima zangaphandle kanye nemaski engaziwa kubuntu. Kuphela lapho umuntu ehlangana naye, wamukela imizwa ejulile yangaphakathi neyiqiniso, ukuvumelana, ubuqiniso kanye nezinye injabulo engokwengqondo eza kuye.
Lokhu kuvezwa ngokucace kakhulu endleleni yokwelapha i-Gestalt, lapho imishwana ebalulekile ekusebenzeni neklayenti ivamise ukuba:
— Ingabe uyazizwa ngempela?
- Ungakhulumi ngokusuka engqondweni, uzwe ukuthi kwenzekani ngempela kuwe!
- Yima, gxilisa imizwa yakho ...
Futhi ezifanayo.
Ngesikhathi esifanayo, akekho obuza ukuthi lo muntu wangaphakathi wavelaphi futhi iyini inani layo. Kulokhu, kulula kakhulu ukukhohlwa lokho okushiwo abanye abaseshabhu yezengqondo mayelana nokwakheka, ukukhuliswa kanye nokunye ukuhlalisana kwabantu…
Ngizohumusha: mayelana nalokho, ukuthi abantu abake bangenalwazi bafaka ubuwula babo emphefumulweni wakho mayelana nezwe, wena, abantu, nokuthi awukwazi kanjani ukuthanda konke lokhu, bakufaka konke futhi bakuvikele ngokwesaba. Ekuqaleni, kwakungavamile kuwe njengokuchama ebhodweni ngesizathu esithile, kodwa konke lokhu kwakukudala, kwakusebuntwaneni, futhi awukhumbuli. Kamuva, wajwayela futhi waqala ukubiza ngokuthi "Mina", "imibono yami" kanye "nokuthandwa kwami".
Futhi okubaluleke kakhulu, watshelwa ukuthi konke lokhu kubaluleke kakhulu, ukuthi lokhu kuyingqikithi yakho nokuthi udinga ukuphila, okokuqala ukuvuma lezi zinkinga zomuntu ngamunye. Awu, ukholiwe.
Yiziphi ezinye izinketho ezingase zibe khona?
Ukuzenza okwangempela kanye nobuqiniso
UMaslow usebenzise igama elithi “umfutho wangaphakathi”, “izwi langaphakathi” esihlokweni sakhe, ngezinye izikhathi libuye libizwe ngokuthi “isifiso sangempela” — kodwa ingqikithi iyafana: lalela lokho okufunayo ngempela. Umuntu akanakungabaza — uhlale eyazi impendulo elungile, futhi uma engazi, kusho ukuthi akazi ukuthi alalele kanjani leli zwi lakhe elingaphakathi—uyokweluleka kuphela lokho okudingayo ngempela!
Mhlawumbe lo mbono nawo unengqondo, kodwa ukuze lokhu kube yiqiniso, kufanele kuhlangatshezwane nemibandela eminingi eyengeziwe. Okokuqala, ngokuzenzakalelayo, lo muntu kufanele alwele ukuthuthukiswa nokwenza ngcono, okwesibili, kufanele abe nezifiso zakhe ezinengqondo, hhayi izifiso ezibekwe ngaphandle, okwesithathu, akufanele abe nobuvila futhi athande ukusebenza, aqaphele umthwalo wemfanelo wezenzo zakhe. , nginolwazi olucebile…
Lapho besebenza namahhashi, bavame ukusho into efanayo: kwenze ngokuzenzekelayo, ngoba kubonakala kulungile. Kodwa bakusho lokhu kakade kumakhosi ngokuzijwayeza okukhulu. Futhi uma, eduze kwehhashi, umuntu ngamunye eqala ukwenza lokho acabanga ukuthi kulungile, inani lokulimala lizokhula kakhulu.
Yebo, kungenzeka, uma ungumuntu - wekhwalithi ephezulu futhi impilo yakho inhle - uma wenza ngendlela yakho, hhayi njengoba imvelo engavamile isho - cishe wonke umuntu uzolunga kulokhu.
Imvelo ithi: philela imali. Khokha kancane — hamba! Futhi usebenza - kodwa hhayi ngemali, kodwa ngenxa yesizathu, futhi wenza isenzo esikhulu futhi esihle.
Futhi uma ubuntu busanda kuqala ukuthuthukiswa kwayo, kunemicabango embalwa enengqondo ekhanda, ngisho nangaphansi komphefumulo, umzimba uvilapha kakhulu kunokulalela futhi ufuna ukuphuma emsebenzini ngaso sonke isikhathi - yini umuntu onjalo angayifuna? Bhema, uphuze, ulume… Kunengqondo kangakanani ngomuntu onjalo ukulalela izwi lakhe elingaphakathi? Yebo, okokuqala udinga ukuzilungisa: funda ukusebenza nokuthuthukisa, ukuhleleka, ukujwayela ukuphila nekhwalithi ephezulu, futhi lapho umkhuba onjalo usuvele usuyinto evamile - yilapho - khona-ke ungase ufune lokho kwangempela. futhi okuhle kakhulu okukumuntu.