Izazi ze-Psychotherapist ziza kubantu abaye babhekana nenhlekelele, babhekane nokungaqondi kahle futhi bezwa ubuhlungu bengqondo. Kodwa kunezinye izimo lapho konke kujabulisa futhi kukuhle ezweni langaphandle, futhi iklayenti liyazikhipha ngokoqobo kulokhu kusakazwa, lifihla futhi lilangazelela. Ezimweni lapho imbangela yalokho okwenzekayo ingacacile, ukwelashwa kwezobuciko kungasiza, kusho i-psychotherapist uTatyana Potemkina.
Senza isinqumo sokuthuthela kwelinye izwe ngethemba lokuthi ukuphila kwethu kuzoba ngcono. Akulula neze, kodwa kuyathakazelisa, kukhanye, kuphumelele. Futhi sikulungele ukubhekana nobunzima. Kodwa sibalindele abavela ngaphandle: ulimi olusha, amasiko, imvelo, imisebenzi. Futhi ngezinye izikhathi bavela ngaphakathi.
Ngesikhathi uJulia, 34, engithinta ngeSkype, wayesenezinyanga ezinhlanu engaphumi endlini. Ezweni laseScandinavia lapho athuthela khona eminyakeni emibili edlule, wayengekho engozini. Umyeni wami wazama ukuchitha isikhathi esiningi ngangokunokwenzeka ekhaya. Uma engekho, wayethumela umsizi uma kukhona ayekudinga. Futhi uJulia wayeba kubi kakhulu.
“Ngingena emnyango ngifike ngijuluke amakhaza, kumnyama emehlweni, ngicishe ngiquleke,” kuzikhalela. Angiqondi ukuthi kwenzekani kimi!
Lapho “kungekho okucacile”, ukwelashwa kwezobuciko kungasiza. Ngacela uJulia ukuba alungiselele iphepha ne-gouache seseshini elandelayo. Futhi wangiqinisekisa ukuthi awudingi ukuba yiciko. “Vula zonke izimbiza, thatha ibhulashi bese ulinda kancane. Bese wenza noma yini oyifunayo."
UJulia wacwilisa ibhulashi ngemibala eminingana ilandelana futhi washiya imigqa emide ephepheni. Iqabunga elilodwa, elinye… ngabuza ukuthi bamenze wazizwa kanjani. Waphendula ngokuthi kwakubuhlungu kakhulu - njengalapho umfowabo eshona.
Ubuhlungu obunqwabelene bathola indlela yokuphuma, bukhulula amandla. Uvalo lwaphela amandla
U-Ivan wayengumzala wakhe. Ontanga, babengabangane ebuntwaneni, bachitha ihlobo ku-dacha evamile. Babuyela emuva lapho besanda kweva eshumini nambili, kodwa abazali baka-Yulina babengasafuni ukuba bahlangane: kwaziwa ukuthi u-Ivan wayenomlutha wezinto ezithinta ingqondo.
Lapho eneminyaka engu-20, wabulawa ukudla ngokweqile. UJulia wayekholelwa ukuthi nguye owayenecala, ngoba walahla ukuphila kwakhe ngendlela ehlekisayo. Kodwa wazisola ngokuthi wayengeke akwazi ukumsiza. Kwakuyingxube yentukuthelo, ukudabuka, icala. Akazange athande lokhu kudideka, wazama ukukhohlwa u-Ivan futhi wagxila ezifundweni zakhe, wabe esengena emsebenzini wakhe: wabamba uhlelo oludumile lwe-TV, waqashelwa emigwaqweni.
Kwakukhona nokuphila komuntu siqu. UJulia waba unkosikazi kasomabhizinisi ophumelelayo, ayemazisa ngenxa yesimo sakhe esijabulisayo. Benza isinqumo sokufuduka ndawonye futhi abazange bakungabaze ukunemba kwayo.
Umyeni waqhubeka nebhizinisi lakhe, futhi uYulia wanquma ukulandela isibonelo sakhe ngokuvula izifundo zesiRashiya. Kodwa izinto azihambanga. Wesaba ukuqala elinye.
“Angikaze ngibe ondliwayo,” kusho uYulia, “futhi manje ngihlezi entanyeni yomyeni wami. Kuyangicindezela...
— Isimo sakho sempilo samanje sixhumene kanjani nezinkumbulo zomfowenu?
— Bengicabanga ukuthi sihluke ngokuphelele, kodwa siyefana! Nami angikwazi. UVanya usephenduke umthwalo kubazali bakhe. Bamzwela, kodwa lapho efa, babonakala bekhululekile. Kungaba okufanayo nakimi?
Ngokuphindaphindiwe ngangikhuthaza uJulia ukuthi asebenzise upende ukuze anikeze umbala nesimo emizweni. Ukhale ngokulahlekelwa: ukushona komfowabo, ukungabi namandla, ukuhlukana nabazali bakhe, ukushintsha kwesimo senhlalo kanye nokulahlekelwa ukunconywa okwakumzungezile ngaphambi ...
Ubuhlungu obunqwabelene bathola indlela yokuphuma, bukhulula amandla. Ukwesaba kwaba buthakathaka, futhi uJulia wabuyela ekuphileni - futhi kuye ngokwakhe. Lwafika usuku aphuma ngalo ngaphandle wagibela umzila ohamba ngaphansi komhlaba. “Okulandelayo, mina uqobo,” wavalelisa kimi.
Muva nje, umlayezo uvela kuye: uthole imfundo entsha futhi uqala ukusebenza.