Okuqukethwe
- 1. Nihlangana ebusuku kuphela.
- 2. Uchitha isikhathi ekhaya kuphela.
- 3. Ukhuluma ngocansi kuphela ngaso sonke isikhathi.
- 4. Amazwi akhe aphikisana nezenzo zakhe
- 5. Uyawahoxisa ama-aphoyintimenti
- 6. Uvaleke kakhulu
- 7. Akaludedeli ucingo
- “Ubudlelwano obunjalo buveza ezabo izinkinga ngokuntula ukusekelwa kwangaphakathi”
Usothandweni futhi ulungele kalula ukucabanga impilo ende nejabulisayo ndawonye nomlingani wakho. Kodwa ingabe uqinisekile ukuthi izifiso zakho ziyahambisana? Ingabe uyaziba izimpawu ezibonisa ngokucacile ukuthi unesithakazelo ekuzijabuliseni okulula, futhi konke okunye kuwumcabango wakho? Abafundi bethu bakhuluma ngolwazi lwabo lobudlelwano obuhlulekile. Umelaphi we-Gestalt u-Natalia Artsybasheva uyaphawula.
1. Nihlangana ebusuku kuphela.
“Wafika kimi noma wangimema ukuba ngize kuye, futhi kwakuhlale kuhlwile,” kukhumbula uVera. “Ngokusobala, wayethanda ubulili kuphela, kodwa ngangingafuni ukukuvuma kimina. Nganginethemba lokuthi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi konke kuzoshintsha futhi sizoxhumana ngokugcwele. Akwenzekanga, ngase ngisondelana kakhulu naye.”
2. Uchitha isikhathi ekhaya kuphela.
“Yebo, wonke umuntu unezinsuku lapho efuna ukucambalala embhedeni abukele amafilimu, kodwa ubuhlobo busikisela ukuthi nichithe isikhathi njengombhangqwana: ukuhambahamba edolobheni, ukuya kumabhayisikobho noma emabhayisikobho, ukuhlangana nabangane,” kusho u-Anna. “Manje ngiyaqonda ukuthi ukungabaza kwakhe ukuphuma ndawana thize akubangelwa ukuthi ungumuntu wasekhaya (njengoba ngithanda ukucabanga ngakho), kodwa kungenxa yokuthi ngokuyinhloko wayenesithakazelo sobulili nami.”
3. Ukhuluma ngocansi kuphela ngaso sonke isikhathi.
"Ekuqaleni ngangicabanga ukuthi wayengithanda kakhulu futhi ukulungiswa ngokweqile esihlokweni socansi kuwukubonakaliswa kothando lwakhe," kusho uMarina. “Kodwa-ke, ukuthola izithombe ezingcolile zezingxenye zakhe ezisondelene emilayezweni ngingazange ngizicele kwakungemnandi. Ngangisothandweni futhi kwangithatha isikhathi ukuvuma kimina ukuthi lokhu kwakungolunye nje uhambo lwakhe.”
4. Amazwi akhe aphikisana nezenzo zakhe
“Ukutusa ngokweqile nokuqinisekisa kuyisizathu sokuqapha futhi uhlole ukuthi yini ngempela ayilungele,” uqinisekile uMaria. “Lapho umama egula futhi kudingeka ukusekelwa umngane wami, kwaba sobala: wakhuluma wonke la mazwi amahle ukuze ngibe khona.”
5. Uyawahoxisa ama-aphoyintimenti
“Ngangivame ukuthatha indima yomhleli wesikhathi sethu sokuphumula,” kuvuma u-Inga. “Futhi naphezu kwalokhu, angawuhoxisa umhlangano wethu ngomzuzu wokugcina, esho izinto eziphuthumayo. Ngeshwa, ngabona sekwephuzile ukuthi angizange ngibe umuntu ongadela okuningi ngenxa yakhe.
6. Uvaleke kakhulu
“Sonke siyahluka ngamazinga ahlukene okuvuleleka, nokho-ke, uma umethemba ngolwazi olumayelana nawe, futhi ngokubuyisela uthole umdlalo wenkosana engaqondakali, kungenzeka ukuthi ukufihlela okuthile, noma akakuthathi njengenkosi engaqondakali. umlingani wobudlelwano besikhathi eside,” ngiqinisekile u-Arina. - Sekuyisikhathi eside ngiphila nenkohliso yokuthi umane nje u-taciturn futhi akangazisi emndenini nakubangane, ngoba ufuna ukuhlola ubuhlobo bethu futhi angazise kubo njengomlobokazi esikhathini esizayo. Kamuva kwavela ukuthi imfihlo enjalo yamnika ithuba lokulondoloza ubuhlobo nabesifazane abaningana ngesikhathi esisodwa.
7. Akaludedeli ucingo
"Unomsebenzi onomthwalo wemfanelo - yile ndlela engathethelela ngayo umngane wami, ngaze ngagcina ngabona: uma ephazanyiswa kalula izingcingo nemiyalezo, lokhu akubonisi nje ukuntula kwakhe imfundo, kodwa futhi ukuthi angithandeki kakhulu kuye. kuye, ”- kuvuma uTatyana.
“Ubudlelwano obunjalo buveza ezabo izinkinga ngokuntula ukusekelwa kwangaphakathi”
Natalia Artsybasheva, gestalt Therapist
Yini engahlanganisa abesifazane abagcina ukuxhumana okunjalo? Imodeli yokubambisana ibekwe ekukhulumisaneni nabazali. Uma sithole uthando olwanele, ukwesekwa nokuvikeleka, khona-ke sidlula ozakwethu abathambekele ebuhlotsheni obulimazayo nokusetshenziswa.
Uma, ebuntwaneni, umuntu kwakudingeka azuze uthando lwabazali, athwale umthwalo wokungaqini kwemizwelo noma ubungane babazali, lokhu kuthuthela ebuhlotsheni babantu abadala ngokungazi. Uthando luhlotshaniswa nokuzithiba, ukuzidela okungenampilo. Sifuna umlingani ovusa isimo sobuntwana. Futhi isimo esithi "angizizwa kahle" sihlotshaniswa nokuthi "lolu uthando."
Kuyadingeka ukubuyisela umuzwa wangaphakathi wokulondeka, ukuthola ukusekelwa ngokwakho
Umuzwa wokulondeka osontekile uyakhiwa ebudlelwaneni. Uma abazali benganikezanga lo muzwa, khona-ke lapho umuntu esekhulile kungase kube nezinkinga ngomqondo wokuzigcina. Njengalabo besifazane "abaphuthelwa" izimpawu zengozi. Ngakho-ke, akubalulekile kangako ukuthi lezi zinsimbi ze-alamu ziyini ebudlelwaneni namadoda angathembekile. Okokuqala, kufanelekile ukuqala hhayi kubo, kodwa "emigodini" yangaphakathi egcwaliswa ngabalingani abanjalo. Umuntu ozethembayo ngeke avumele ubuhlobo obunjalo buthuthuke.
Ingabe le modeli ingashintshwa? Yebo, kodwa akulula, futhi kuphumelela kakhulu ukukwenza kanye nodokotela wezengqondo. Kuyadingeka ukubuyisela umuzwa wangaphakathi wokulondeka, ukuthola ukusekelwa ngokwakho. Kulokhu, awuyeki ubuhlobo, kodwa ungatholi ukoma okubuhlungu kothando ukuze ugcwalise ukungabi nalutho kwangaphakathi, ukhulule ubuhlungu futhi uthole umuzwa wokulondeka. Uyakwazi ukuhlela lolu thando nokuvikeleka ngokwakho.
Khona-ke ubuhlobo obusha abubangeli umugqa wokuphila, kodwa isipho kuwe kanye nomhlobiso empilweni yakho kakade enhle kakhulu.