Asikwazi ukuvusa uzwela kuwo wonke umuntu osizungezile - kubonakala sengathi leli yiqiniso elingenakuphikiswa. Nokho, kunabantu lapho isifiso sokujabulisa abanye siphenduka isidingo esicindezelayo. Kungani lokhu kwenzeka futhi isifiso esinjalo singazibonakalisa kanjani?
Ngisho noma senza sengathi imibono yalabo abasizungezile ayinandaba kakhulu, ekujuleni, cishe sonke sifuna ukuthandwa, ukwamukelwa, ukuqashelwa ngenxa yokufaneleka nokugunyazwa kwezenzo. Ngeshwa, umhlaba usebenza ngokuhlukile kancane: kuyohlale kukhona labo abangasithandi kakhulu, futhi kuzodingeka sivumelane nalokhu.
Nokho, kunomehluko omkhulu phakathi kokufuna nokudinga ukuthandwa. Isifiso sokuthandwa siyinto evamile, kodwa isidingo esicindezelayo sokuvunyelwa singase singakwazi ukuwenza.
Isifiso noma isidingo?
Kubalulekile ukuthi wonke umuntu azizwe emukelekile, ukuthi siyingxenye yento enkulu, ukuthi singabe "sizwe" sakithi. Futhi uma othile engasithandi, sikubona njengokulahlwa - akumnandi, kodwa ungaphila nakho: noma nje wamukele ukwenqatshwa bese uqhubekela phambili, noma uzame ukuthola isizathu sokuthi kungani bengasithandi. .
Kodwa-ke, kunabantu abangakwazi ukubekezelela lapho othile engababazi. Ngokusuka nje emcabangweni walokhu, umhlaba wabo uyabhidlika, futhi balwela ngawo wonke amandla abo ukuze bathole umusa womuntu ongenandaba nabo, ukuze badonse ukunaka kwakhe futhi bathole ukuvunyelwa. Ngeshwa, lokhu cishe kuhlanekezela futhi kuphindisela emuva.
Abantu abafisa ukuzwela abanye bavame ukuziphatha ngalezi zindlela ezilandelayo:
- njalo uzama ukujabulisa wonke umuntu;
- abakulungele ukwenza izenzo ezingahambisani nesimilo noma izindinganiso zabo, ezingalungile noma eziyingozi ngisho nangokwengeziwe, uma benomuzwa wokuthi lokhu kuzobasiza ukuba bazuze uzwela lwabanye;
- ukwesaba ukuba wedwa noma ukuphikisa isixuku, kungase kuvumele ngisho nokungalungile ukuba kwenzeke, ukuze uthole imvume kuphela;
- bavume ukwenza lokho abangafuni ukukwenza noma ukugcina abangani;
- babe nokukhathazeka noma ukucindezeleka okukhulu uma bethola ukuthi othile akabathandi;
- lungisa abantu abacabanga ukuthi ababathandi noma abahambisani nokuziphatha kwabo.
Sivelaphi isidingo sokuthandwa?
Iningi lalabo okubalulekile kubo uthando nokwamukeleka emhlabeni wonke, eqinisweni, lilwa nezinkinga okufanele zilandelwe kusukela ebuntwaneni. Abantu abanjalo bangase bangaboni nokuthi yini ebaqhubayo.
Ngokunokwenzeka, umuntu olwela ukuthandwa ngaphandle kokuhluleka wabhekana nokunganakwa ngokomzwelo ebuntwaneni. Kungenzeka wake wahlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo, ngamazwi, noma ngokomzimba esemncane. Ukuhlukumezeka okufana nalokhu kungasishiya isikhathi eside sinomuzwa wokuthi ukuba yithi akwanele, ukuthi asilutho kithina, futhi lokhu kusiphoqa ukuthi sihlale sifuna ukwesekwa nokuvunyelwa abanye.
Isifiso esingenampilo sokuthandwa yiwo wonke umuntu sibonisa umzabalazo wangaphakathi wokuzethemba nokuntula ukuzethemba, okungabangelwa noma yini. Isibonelo, ukwanda kwezinkundla zokuxhumana kuqinisa le mizwa kuphela. Ukuncintisana "okuthandwayo" kubhebhezela ukukhathazeka kwangaphakathi kwalabo abahlushwa isidingo esingenampilo sokuthanda. Ukungakwazi ukuthola imvume oyifunayo kungaholela ezinkingeni ezingokwengqondo eziya ziba zimbi - isibonelo, ukushayela ujule esimweni sokucindezeleka.
Yini okufanele uyenze uma isifiso esivamile sokujabulisa sesikhule saba isidingo esicindezelayo? Maye, akukho ukulungisa okusheshayo. Endleleni yokuyeka ukuzizwa singafunwa, singathandwa, futhi singabaluleki noma nini lapho abanye bengasithandi, singase sidinge ukusekelwa esibathandayo futhi, mhlawumbe, nosizo lochwepheshe. Futhi, yiqiniso, inombolo yokuqala yomsebenzi wukufunda ukuzithanda wena.
Mayelana Nochwepheshe: U-Kurt Smith unguchwepheshe wezengqondo kanye nomeluleki womndeni.