Kwesinye isikhathi baphinde bakhale, bezwe ukwesaba nokungazethembi futhi badinga ukwesekwa ngokwengqondo. Futhi ayikho indlela engcono yokuzithola futhi ususe ukwesaba kunenkampani yamadoda. Umbiko wokuqeqeshwa eParis lapho abesifazane bengavunyelwe ukungena.
I-Paris School of Gestalt Therapy inikeza ukuqeqeshwa kwezinsuku ezintathu kwabesilisa kuphela. Kulo, intatheli ye-Psychologies yabona isidingo sokuzivikela, ukwesaba ubungqingili namandla ezinyembezi ezihlangene. Wabuyela ehhovisi lomhleli eseshintshile washo ukuthi kwakunjani.
Ngokumelene nesimanje
"Iphi leyo tadi?"
Ngosuku lwesithathu lwamakilasi kwakudingeka ukuthola isilwane se-totem. Ngakhetha i-salmon. Ukuze ikhiqize kabusha, ikhuphukela phezulu. Izingozi kule ndlela azibaleki, umsebenzi unzima. Nokho, uyakwazi. Umholi wangicela ukuba ngilale phansi. Wabe esecela amavolontiya amane ukuba ahlale emhlane wami, futhi kwadingeka ngizame ukudlula kulesi sidumbu esiminyene. Futhi ngaleso sikhathi ngezwa ukuthi u-Oscar odelela kakhulu, ongenangqondo kakhulu1, ongicasule kusukela osukwini lokuqala, wehlisela ezimbanjeni zami amakhilogremu angamashumi ayisishiyagalolunye esisindo sakhe: “Kanti iphi le shoshobi?”
Esinye sezivivinyo ezihilelekile ekuhlanganyeleni ngabathathu: abazali ababili abamele, ubaba nomama, kanti okwesithathu kwaba "ingane" egoqekile phakathi kwabo.
Lokhu kuqeqeshwa kwangikhanga ngesiqubulo sako esithi: “Uma uyindoda, woza!”. Lokhu kukhanga ubudoda, imvelo evusa inkanuko: kunjani ukuba yindoda? Kimina, ngokuqondene nabanye abantu besilisa abangamashumi amabili nambili ababuthene ngaphansi kwalolu phahla emaphandleni aseNormandy, lona akuwona umbuzo oziveza wona.
— Kunabafana abaningi abagaya ugwayi wabo emnyango, kubi kakhulu! - U-Eric, engahlangana naye ukuze ngiphuze isikhathi esithile ngemva kokuqeqeshwa, ukhumbula ukwesaba kwakhe ngokuyiqala: "Ngiseyingane, ngangingakwazi ukumelana nesimo sezindawo lapho kwakukhona amadoda kuphela. Wonke lawo magumbi okugqoka. Ukulala nezilwane lokhu. Ukuba khona komuntu wesifazane bekulokhu kungenza ngizethembe. Ngizoba kanjani lapha? Kuthiwani ngokuyenga? Empeleni ngithanda ukuyenga ... ”Wamamatheka: ukukhululeka okukhulu manje ukukhuluma ngakho ngokukhululeka. “Ngangazi ukuthi kukhona abathandana nobulili obufanayo phakathi kwethu. Ngangesaba ukuthi ngingafiswa - nokuthi emva kwalokhu kwesaba kungase kufihlwe isifiso sami! Ngihleke. “Cabanga nje, futhi ngafuna ukubekwa ekamelweni elihlukile! Sesike sadlula kulokhu ngaphambili...
amadoda nawo ayakhala
Ngesikhathi sisanda kuqeqeshwa, saphoqeleka ukuthi sithintane ngokomzimba, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi sithambekele ekuthini ubulili. Lokhu cishe umkhuba ovamile wamaqembu amadoda, futhi ngokuqinisekile uvamile ekwelashweni kwe-Gestalt, lapho umuzwa othintekayo udlala indima ebalulekile.
Ukwanga, ukuzwa umzimba womuntu ofudumele futhi othokomele, ukumbambatha ngomusa engalweni, ehlombe kuyingxenye yomsebenzi esiwunikezwayo.
Esinye sezivivinyo ezihilelekile ekuhlanganyeleni ngabathathu: ababili kwakungabazali, ubaba nomama, kanti okwesithathu kwaba "ingane" egoqekile phakathi kwabo. "Wonke umuntu wangana, kuyahlanganisa kakhulu." Inkumbulo yenza u-Erik wahwaqabala. “Bekunzima kimina. Ngaphelelwa umoya.” Wabe esesitshela ngendawo akhulela kuyo: umama onegunya, ubaba ongenabuso.
Kodwa-ke, lapho ngamunye eshintsha indawo kanye nabanye, lokhu kwenza kwaba nokwenzeka ukuba ngezinye izikhathi ube nemizwelo engqubuzana kakhulu, kusukela ekuthobeni nasekududuzeni kuye ekucindezelekeni nasekukhathazekeni. “Ingane esiyesaba ukuyichoboza,” ngakhumbula. "Siyesaba futhi sifuna ukuchoboza." "Futhi ngezinye izikhathi - injabulo enkulu. Siqhamuka kude kakhulu,” engeza.
Phela, sonke sinezinkathazo ezifanayo: inkanuko, ukuyenga, ubunzima nobaba, umama onegunya noma ukudabuka ngokulahlekelwa kwakhe ngaphambi kwesikhathi, ukwesaba ukuba yedwa.
Kwaphuma amazwi. Ukubonakaliswa kwemizwelo - okuhlanganisa ngezinye izikhathi ukungakwazi ukuzwa - kanye nokuthinta kuchaza amaqembu amadoda. Alinge abukane emehlweni. “Ngingomunye walabo abanonya ezinganeni zami,” kusho omunye wethu. — Ukuthukuthela okungaka. Ngifuna ukubabulala. Ngiyabathanda, kodwa ngingababulala.” Kwathuleka. Kwakungekhona ukulahlwa kokhulumayo, kodwa ukuthula kulindelwe okunye. Kwabe sekukhala izwi: "Nami ngokunjalo." Bese kuba omunye. Abaningi bethu baluma emehlweni. “Nami futhi,” ngisho. - Nami futhi". Ukukhala kokukhala, amabhamuza amakhulu ezinyembezi. "Ngenza kanjalo nami, nami ngokunjalo." Ngezwa ukuthintwa okufudumele, nokududuzayo esandleni sami. Ukuba yindoda akukhona lokho kuphela, kodwa nalokho futhi.
Ama-Illusions alahlekile
Eqenjini labesilisa, umbuzo wocansi uyaphakama. Mayelana nobulili obuhlukile.
Sikhuluma ngokungagwegwesi, ikakhulukazi njengoba sibuthene singamaqembu abantu abathathu noma abane, njengokungathi sisendlini engaphansi. “Lapho ngingena kuye ngeminwe emibili, emithathu, bese kuba emine, ngizizwa ngisondelene kakhulu kunalapho ngikwenza nelungu, ngoba akasabeli futhi akahlakaniphile njengezihloko zeminwe yakhe,” uDaniel uhlanganyela nathi, ngo. imininingwane enjalo, ukuthi sonke sinokuthile esingacabanga ngakho. UMark uthatha phansi: "Uma ngifuna ukuthola umfana, yonke into ilula: Ngifuna ukumfaka embongolweni." Futhi lokhu, futhi, kusiphonsa ekucabangeni.
“Angikaze ngiyibheke ngaleyo ndlela,” kusho uDaniel. Sihleke sonke. Phela, sonke sinezinkathazo ezifanayo: inkanuko, ukuyenga, ubunzima nobaba, umama onegunya noma ukudabuka ngenxa yokulahlekelwa kwakhe ngaphambi kwesikhathi, ukwesaba isizungu. Futhi ngezinye izikhathi sizizwa njengabafana abancane emzimbeni wesilisa. “Sengimdala manje, angisasukumi ngendlela engangivuka ngayo,” kuvuma omunye wabethuli. “UNkulunkulu uyazi ukuthi ngangikuthanda kanjani!” I-Potency ingamandla ethu ayisisekelo, kepha uma ucabanga ukuthi ithatha indawo yayo yonke into, iba inkohliso nje. Akukho okuhlala phakade, njengoba amaBuddha esho.
Abafana baba amadoda
Kuveranda lapho siziphuzela khona, u-Eric ubamba amantongomane: “Ngifundile kulokhu kuqeqeshwa ukuthi kuyingozi kangakanani ukuhlobana nokuqhanyelwa kwakho. Kwaphela isikhathi eside ngicabanga ukuthi ukuze uhlale ujabule, indoda idinga ukulondoloza amandla. Manje sengiyazi ukuthi kungcono ukuhlukanisa lezi zinto." Lezi izinkumbulo ezinhle. Uhlobo. Kusihlwa sasihlangana, wonke umuntu owayelapho, etafuleni elide lamapulangwe.
“Njengezindela,” kuphawula u-Eric.
“Noma amatilosi,” ngasikisela.
Iwayini lageleza lapho. “Cha, ngempela,” wanezela umngane wami, “ngagcina ngicabanga ukuthi ukungabi nabesifazane ngalezo zinsuku ezimbalwa kwakuphumuza kakhulu. Ekugcineni akuzange kudingeke ngiyenge muntu!”
Ukuhlala kulezi zinsuku ezimbalwa ngaphandle kwabesifazane kwakuphumule kakhulu. Ekugcineni kwakungadingeki ngiyenge muntu!
Yebo, kwakukhona futhi ukuthi icala «noshobishobi». Lapho ngisengumfana, ngangibizwa ngokuthi «noshobishobi emathinini» ngenxa yezibuko.
Ngahlupheka. Ngangimncane, nginesizungu futhi ngigqoke izibuko. Futhi-ke kungazelelwe, ngemva kweminyaka, lapho ngizama ngakho konke okusemandleni ami ukuba i-salmon, ngedwa phambi kwalolu donga lwamadoda, lesi sikhukhula somuntu, esinamaphunga abo, ukukhala kwabesilisa, izinwele, amazinyo, ngazizwa ngiwela kwalasha wobuntwana. , lapho yonke into, oh engikucelile - i-pat enobungane, isandla esiqinisekisayo ehlombe. Futhi leso silwane kumelwe ukuba sangiphula ubambo! Kwabe sekungena omunye umholi oqeqeshwayo ukuze angikhulule. Kodwa lokhu kwakungesona isiphetho. “Manje, yilwa! Yilwa nebhele."
U-Oscar wayeyibhere. Impi yathembisa ukuthi izoba ngevelele. Ngalwa nendoda esisindweni sami kabili. Okwathi ekugcineni wavuma kithi ukuthi wayehlukunyezwa afunda nabo. Wayemude kunabo bonke, emude kunawo wonke, futhi enamahloni kangangokuthi akazange alinge ukuzivikela: ngemva kwakho konke, wayefuna ukuthandwa, kodwa wayengazi ukuthi ngezinye izikhathi kwakudingekile ukulwa nalokhu, ngakho-ke wayedelelekile. azondwa ashaywe ngamagalelo. Sabambana. U-Oscar wasindisa izimbambo zami ezibuhlungu. Kodwa ukumbamba kwakhe kwakuqinile futhi amehlo akhe enobungane futhi ethambile. “Wozani, lahlani konke enikuqongelele. Khululeka.» Unezwi elijulile, izwi lomuntu.
1 Ngenxa yezizathu zobumfihlo, amagama nolunye ulwazi lomuntu siqu kushintshiwe.