Okuqukethwe
Naphezu kweqiniso lokuthi uthando lwenza izimangaliso, kukhona izinto olungenakuzenza. Asikwazi ukushintsha izici zobuntu ezichaza ubuntu babathandekayo bethu. Cishe, imizamo izophela neqiniso lokuthi ubudlelwano bucekelwe phansi. Kodwa ngisho noma sicabanga ukuthi sizoziqeda izici zemvelo yakhe esizizondayo, kuyodingeka silungele iqiniso lokuthi siyobhekana nomunye umuntu. Hhayi nakancane lo ebesimthanda. Ochwepheshe baqoqe izici zomlingiswa nokuthambekela komlingani, maqondana nakho okubalulekile ukuthola ukuyekethisa.
1. Ubudlelwane nomndeni
Ehlaya elaziwayo: asishadi nomlingani, kodwa umndeni wakhe wonke - kukhona iqiniso eliningi. Imizwa mayelana nesihlobo esiseduze ingaba ijule kakhulu futhi ngeke ishintshe, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi singathanda kangakanani ukuthi akhulume nabo kancane futhi anikele isikhathi esengeziwe enhlanganweni yethu.
“Uma ungeke ukwazi ukungena emndenini wakhe obumbene, khona-ke noma yimiphi imizamo yokuzuza uzakwethu eceleni kwakho futhi imkholise ukuthi achithe isikhathi esincane nabathandekayo ingase ishabalale,” kusho umqeqeshi wobudlelwane phakathi kwabantu uChris Armstrong. – Ngokuphambene nalokho: kubalulekile ukunikeza umlingani wakho inkululeko yokungayi emihlanganweni yomndeni kaningi njengoba wenza. Umuzwa womndeni ubalulekile, kodwa namanje hhayi ngezindleko zobudlelwane nomuntu othandekayo.
2. Introversion / extroversion
Izimbangi ziyaheha, kodwa kuze kufike ephuzwini. Ngolunye usuku uzofuna umlingani othanda ukuthula nokuba yedwa ukuze asekele isifiso sakho sokuchitha ubusuku obuningana bulandelana ungekho ekhaya. “Awunakushintsha isimo somuntu,” kuxwayisa isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uSamantha Rodman. "Uma, naphezu kwe-polarity yezengqondo, unquma ukuba ndawonye, kufanele ninikezane inkululeko yokuba nguwe."
3.Ukuzilibazisa
Izintshisekelo zethu, ezingahlangene nokuqaphela umsebenzi, zisiza ukugcina ibhalansi yangaphakathi. UChris Armstrong uthi: “Silahlekelwa umuzwa wokwaneliseka nokulawula ukuphila kwethu uma silahlekelwa lokho esingakwenzi ngenjongo yokwenza imali, kodwa ngenxa yokuzijabulisa kwethu kuphela. "Uma ekuqaleni kobudlelwane kubonakala sengathi isithandwa sakho sichitha isikhathi esiningi sokushushuluza, ukudansa kwe-ballroom noma izilwane ezifuywayo, akufanele ucabange ukuthi lokhu kuzoshintsha lapho seniqala ukuhlala ndawonye."
4. Ukuphatha ulaka
Uma umuntu ohlose ukwakha ubuhlobo naye eqhuma ngezindaba ezingasho lutho ezingaxazululwa kalula ngokuthula, akufanele uthembe ukuthi uthando lungakushintsha lokhu. "Lena yinkinga okufanele ithathwe ngokungathi sína kwasekuqaleni," kusho uCarl Pilmar, uprofesa wesayensi yezokuhlalisana kwabantu e-Cornell University kanye nombhali othengisa kakhulu we-XNUMX Advice for Lovers. “Ulaka nokungazithibi kuyizimfanelo eziyoqhubeka ziba zimbi kakhulu ngokuhamba kweminyaka.
5. Imibono yenkolo
“Imvamisa inkinga yokungahlangani kwemibono yezenkolo itholakala kuphela ngemva kokuzalwa kwezingane. “Ngisho noma umlingani engazange akhulume ngezinkolelo zakhe phambilini, lapho kwafika izingane, ufuna zikhuliswe ngesiko elingokomoya eliseduze naye,” kusho uSamantha Rodman. Uma omunye umlingani eneminye imibono engokwenkolo, kuvela ukuthi akakholelwa ebukhoneni bukaNkulunkulu noma ethi uNkulunkulu akaziwa, cishe ngeke awusekele umbono wokuthi izinkolelo angazazi zigxiliswe enganeni.”
6. Isidingo sokuba wedwa
Ulwela ukuchitha yonke iminithi yamahhala ndawonye, kuyilapho othandekayo edinga indawo yakhe. "Isidingo sokuthi umlingani abe yedwa singafundwa njengento enqatshelwe, futhi uphendule kabuhlungu," kuchaza uChris Armstrong. - Phakathi naleso sikhathi, isikhathi esichithwa ngokwehlukana sikuvumela ukuthi ugcine imizwa entsha, ubuntu bomuntu ngamunye, ekugcineni oqinisa inyunyana kuphela.
Lapho abantu bendawonye njalo, omunye wabo angase abe nomuzwa wokuthi ubuhlobo buwukuphela kwento ayenzayo. Lokhu kubangela ukumelana kwangaphakathi kumlingani, odinga isikhathi esengeziwe ukuze azindle ngolwazi olusha, ukuze abone izifiso nezidingo ezishintshayo.
7. Isidingo sokuhlela
Udinga ukuhlela ngokucophelela zonke izinyathelo, kuyilapho umlingani ekhetha izinqumo ezizenzakalelayo kukho konke. Ekuqaleni, lo mehluko ungaba yinzuzo ebuhlotsheni: uhlangothi olulodwa lusiza olunye ukuba luphile esikhathini samanje futhi luzwe ubuhle besikhathi, olunye lunikeza ithemba ngekusasa nenduduzo yokuthi kuningi kuvele kulungiselelwe kahle. .
“Kubukeka sengathi lokhu akulona uhlobo lwemibono ephikisanayo engacekela phansi ubudlelwano. Nokho, konke kuncike ebucayini balokhu kungafani, kuxwayisa isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uJill Weber. - Uma uchitha wonke amandla akho uzama ukukholisa omunye nomunye ukuthi ungayichitha kanjani impelasonto nokuthi kudingekile yini ukuhlela ngokucophelela isabelomali somndeni, lokhu kuzoholela nakanjani ezingxabanweni. Umehluko onjalo uhlotshaniswa nezici ze-psyche, futhi awusoze washintsha kumuntu indlela yakhe yokuthola ukuvikeleka kwengqondo nokunethezeka.
8. Isimo sengqondo ngezingane
Uma ekuqaleni kwemihlangano uthi ngobuqotho akafuni izingane, kufanele ukholelwe lokhu. “Ngethemba lokuthi imibono yakhe izoshintsha njengoba ubuhlobo benu buthuthuka cishe ngeke buphumelele,” kusho u-Armstrong. - Kungokwemvelo lapho umuntu exwayisa ngokuthi ukulungele ukuba nezingane kuphela lapho eqiniseka kumlingani wakhe, ehlala naye isikhathi esithile. Kodwa-ke, uma uzwa ukuthi uphikisana nokuba umzali, futhi lokhu kungqubuzana nezifiso zakho, kufanelekile ukucabangela ikusasa lobuhlobo obunjalo.
9. Ukuhleka
“Umsebenzi wami nabashadile asebehlale ndawonye isikhathi eside uphakamisa ukuthi izinkinga eziningi zesikhathi esizayo zingabikezelwa ngokubuza umbuzo owodwa: ingabe abantu bathola izinto ezifanayo ezihlekisayo? UCarl Pilmer uqinisekile. Ihlaya elifanayo liphenduka inkomba enhle yokufanelana kombhangqwana. Uma nihleka ndawonye, khona-ke cishe ninemibono efanayo emhlabeni, futhi nizophatha izinto ezibucayi kakhulu ngendlela efanayo.