Abaningi banesiqiniseko sokuthi ngeke bathethelele ukukhashelwa, kodwa uma kwenzeka ukukhashelwa futhi ongathembeki efunga ukuthi ngeke aphinde enze iphutha, akhohlwe izithembiso azenza kubo, athethelele ukoniwa futhi anikeze ithuba lesibili. Kodwa kuthiwani uma umlingani engakufanelekeli ukuthethelelwa futhi ukuzisola kwakhe kumane nje kungenye amanga?
Umlingani okhohlisayo cishe ungenye yezinto ezibuhlungu kakhulu ezingokomzwelo. Ukukhashelwa komuntu esimthandayo kuphula izinhliziyo zethu. “Ayikho into eqhathaniseka nobuhlungu, uvalo nentukuthelo esiba nayo uma sithola ukuthi uphathina ofunge ukwethembeka uqomile. Umuzwa wokukhaphela okubi uyasidla. Kubonakala kwabaningi ukuthi abasoze bakwazi ukwethemba umlingani nanoma ubani omunye, "kusho isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo kanye nesazi sezocansi uRobert Weiss.
Nokho, ungase usamthanda lo muntu futhi ufuna ukuhlala ndawonye, yebo, uma engasakohlisi futhi wenza yonke imizamo yokubuyisela ubuhlobo. Ngokunokwenzeka, umlingani wakho uyaxolisa futhi uqinisekisa ukuthi ubengaqondile ukukuzwisa ubuhlungu obunjalo. Kodwa wazi kahle ukuthi lokhu akwanele futhi ngeke kwanele.
Kuzodingeka enze imizamo eminingi yokubuyisela ukwethembana, ukuba athembeke ngokuphelele futhi avuleleke kukho konke. Ngokuqinisekile unquma ukukwenza, ngisho nezithembiso. Futhi nokho kungenzeka ukuthi esikhathini esizayo izophinde ikuphule inhliziyo.
Nazi izimpawu eziyi-7 zokuthi umlingani ongathembekile akakaphenduki futhi akafanele ukuthethelelwa.
1. Ulokhu ekopela
Ngakho abantu abaningi abathambekele ekukopeleni abakwazi ukuyeka, naphezu kwemiphumela. Ngandlela thize, bafana nemilutha yezidakamizwa. Bayaqhubeka beshintsha, ngisho nalapho belethwa emanzini ahlanzekile futhi ukuphila kwabo konke kuqala ukuwohloka. Ngenhlanhla, lokhu akusebenzi kuwo wonke umuntu. Abaningi bazisola kakhulu ngemva kokudalulwa futhi benza konke okusemandleni abo ukulungisa ngaphandle kokuphinda amaphutha adlule. Kodwa abanye abakwazi noma abafuni ukuyeka futhi baqhubeke nokulimaza abalingani babo.
2. Uhlala eqamba amanga futhi ekufihlele.
Lapho iqiniso lokungathembeki lembulwa, abenzi bobubi ngokuvamile bavame ukuqhubeka nokuqamba amanga, futhi uma bephoqeleka ukuba bavume, baveza ingxenye yeqiniso kuphela, baqhubeke nokugcina izimfihlo zabo. Ngisho noma bengasakwazi ukukopela, bayaqhubeka nokukhohlisa abalingani ngokunye. Kumuntu osinde ekukhapheleni, ukukhohlisa okunjalo kungase kube buhlungu njengokukhashelwa ngokwako.
3. Usola wonke umuntu ngaphandle kwakhe ngokwenzekile.
Abalingani abaningi abangathembekile bayazithethelela futhi bachaze ukuziphatha kwabo ngokususa icala ngalokho okwenzeke komunye umuntu noma kwenye into. Kumlingani olimele, lokhu kungaba buhlungu. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi umlingani okhohlisayo avume ngokugcwele ukuthi unesibopho salokho okwenzekile. Ngeshwa, abaningi abagcini nje ngokwenza lokhu, kodwa baze bazame ukubeka icala lokukhaphela kumlingani wabo.
4. Uyaxolisa futhi ulindele ukuxolelwa ngokushesha.
Abanye abakhohlisi bacabanga ukuthi kwanele ukuxolisa, futhi ingxoxo isiphelile. Abajabule kakhulu noma bayathukuthela lapho bebona ukuthi umlingani unombono ohlukile ngale ndaba. Abaqondi ukuthi ngokukhaphela kwabo, amanga nezimfihlo zabo bachithe konke ukwethembana phakathi kwakho nakho konke ukwethemba kwakho ebudlelwaneni nokuthi ngeke ukwazi ukuxolela umlingani aze athole le ntethelelo ngokufakazela ukuthi ufanelwe ukwethenjwa futhi. .
5. Uzama «ukuthenga» intethelelo.
Isu eliyiphutha elijwayelekile labalingani abaningi ngemva kokungethembeki liwukuzama ukubuyisela umusa wakho «ngokugwazisa», ngokunikeza izimbali nemihlobiso, ukukumemela ezindaweni zokudlela. Ngisho nocansi lungenza njengendlela "yokugwazisa". Uma umlingani wakho ezame ukukushweleza ngale ndlela, usuvele uyazi ukuthi akusebenzi. Izipho, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi zibiza kangakanani futhi zicatshangelwe kangakanani, azikwazi ukupholisa izilonda ezibangelwa ukungathembeki.
6. Uzama ukukulawula ngobudlova nezinsongo.
Ngezinye izikhathi, ukuze "uthobe" umlingani othukuthele ngokufanelekile, umkhohlisi uqala ukusongela ngesehlukaniso, ukuqedwa kokusekelwa kwezimali, noma enye into. Kwezinye izimo, bayakwazi ukwesabisa ozakwethu ekuhambiseni. Kodwa abaqondi ukuthi ukuziphatha kwabo kubulala ukusondelana ngokomzwelo kumbhangqwana.
7. Uzama ukukududuza.
Abalingani abaningi, lapho ukukhashelwa kwabo sekwaziwa, basho okuthile ngokulandelayo: “Sithandwa, yehlisa umoya, akukho okubi okwenzekile. Uyazi ukuthi ngiyakuthanda futhi kade ngikuthanda. Wenza indlovu ngempukane." Uma uke wezwa into enjengale, wazi kahle ukuthi imizamo enjalo yokuzola (ngisho noma iphumelela isikhashana) ayisoze yakwazi ukubuyisela ukwethenjwa okulahlekile ngemva kokukhashelwa. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukulalela lokhu kubuhlungu kakhulu, ngoba, empeleni, umlingani wenza kucace ukuthi awunalo ilungelo lokuthukuthela ngenxa yokukhashelwa kwakhe.