Izimbangela eziyisi-7 ze-psychosomatic zokungazali kwabesifazane

Uma owesifazane ene:

• isibeletho;
• okungenani ishubhu elilodwa elidlulayo;
• i-ovary ohlangothini olufanayo (noma okungenani ingxenye yalo);
• ucansi olungavikelekile njalo;

… kodwa ukukhulelwa akwenzeki kungakapheli unyaka, singakhuluma ngokungazali ngokwengqondo. Futhi ithuluzi eliphumelela kakhulu neliphephe kunazo zonke lokuxazulula inkinga kuleli cala usizo lwe-psychotherapist onguchwepheshe.

Awukho umlingo. Konke kuyaqondakala ngokomtholampilo. Iqiniso liwukuthi ngesikhathi sokuzalwa, zonke izinhlelo zomzimba wethu sezivele zakhiwe, ngaphandle kweyodwa - yokuzala. Ikhula kukho konke ukuphila, kusukela ebuntwaneni kuya ebudaleni.

Eminyakeni engaphezu kwekhulu edlule, isazi sokusebenza komzimba saseRussia u-Alexei Ukhtomsky wethula umqondo “wokubusa umgomo wokuphila” ekusetshenzisweni kwesayensi. Ngamagama alula, okubusayo yilokho okubaluleke kakhulu kumuntu esikhathini esithile sokuphila. Lesi yisifiso esiyinhloko, isidingo.

Ngaphakathi kohlaka lwesihloko sethu, kufanelekile ukukhuluma ngababusi ababili ngesikhathi esisodwa, okuchaza ukukhula kokungazali kwengqondo:

• ukubusa kokuzala;
• ukukhathazeka okubusayo.

Ukuzala okubusayo kuhambisana nezigaba ezifana nesifiso sobulili nokukhetha umlingani wocansi, futhi kuphinde kubangele izinqubo eziningi zomzimba: ukuvuthwa kweqanda, ukukhula kwe-endometrial, ukukhishwa kwamaqanda, ukufakwa kweqanda le-fetus esibelethweni - futhi lilawula inkambo yokukhulelwa.

Ukukhathazeka okubusayo, nakho, kuyisibopho sokuzivikela kwethu.

Uma eyodwa isebenza, enye ikhubazekile. Ngomzimba, umsebenzi "wokusinda" kuwumsebenzi obalulekile "wokubeletha ingane." Uma owesifazane enombono ezingeni lokungazi lutho (equlekile) ukuthi kuyingozi noma kuyethusa ukukhulelwa manje, ukubusa kokuzala kucindezelwa ngosizo lwezinqubo zomzimba ezibangelwa ukukhathazeka okukhulu.

Yini engasebenzisa ukubusa kokukhathazeka?

1. IMIPHAKAMISO EVELA KUBANTU ABADALA ABABALULEKILE KUSUKA EBUSWENI NASEBUSHA.

Abazali (noma abantu ababashintshayo) bacishe bangonkulunkulu bezingane, futhi ingane ikulungele ukufeza isimo sayo ngazo zonke izindlela. “Isilungiselelo” esinjalo esiyisisekelo siyadingeka kuye entweni eyinhloko—ukusinda: “Uma ngingathandi, ngifinyelela okulindelekile kubazali bami, bayongenqaba, bese ngifa.”

Ngokwezibalo zomkhuba wami, ngingasho ngokuphepha ukuthi wonke umuntu wesifazane wesithathu uzwile lezi zitatimende ezilandelayo kunina kusukela ebuntwaneni:

• “Kunzima ukukhulelwa”;
• “Ukubeletha kubi, kubuhlungu!”;
• “Ngakhulelwa kanjani ngawe, ngashaywa umoya, manje bengihlupheka impilo yami yonke!”;
• “Kubi, ngenkathi udliswa, isifuba sakho sinyakazekile”;
• “Ngenxa yokuzalwa kwakho, umsebenzi wami wehla kakhulu”;
• "Izingane ziyizidalwa ezingenakubonga, umlomo owengeziwe, umthwalo."

Zivumele ukuthi ubone ukuthi abazali bakho bangabantu abavamile, okungenzeka ukuthi abazange bathathe izifundo zokubeletha futhi abazange bavakashele ama-psychotherapists, abazange bafunde izincwadi ezikhuluma nge-attachment theory kanye ne-psychology yezingane, futhi ngokuvamile bahlala kwesinye isikhathi lapho konke kwakuhlukile.

Bhala phansi ephepheni yonke imicabango kanye nezimo zengqondo ezilimazayo mayelana nokukhulelwa nokubeletha ozithole ngaphandle, futhi uzinike ngokwengqondo abalobi. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, kufanelekile ukuphawula iziphakamiso ezivela kwabanye odokotela ezikoleni nasemitholampilo yabakhulelwe, okuthi, ngeshwa, ngokuvamile ngokungenasisekelo babeke izifo ezidumazayo kumantombazane futhi bahlazeke.

2. UKUNGAKHULI KWENGQONDO

Ukukhulelwa futhi, ngenxa yalokho, ukuba ngumama presupposes ukuvuthwa ngokwengqondo - okungukuthi, ukuzimisela ukunikeza amandla omunye futhi enze izinqumo ezizimele.

Ngesikhathi esifanayo, kuvamile ezindabeni ezinjalo ukuthi ukuguquguquka komthwalo wemfanelo kwabanye: "Noma ubani owangithatha ezandleni zami ..." noma "Xazulula yonke into ngokwakho" kuvame kakhulu kwabesifazane ababhekene nokuxilongwa "kokungazali".

Ukukhula kwangaphakathi kuwukuqonda okuqinile ukuthi akekho obophekile ukuba asisekele futhi akekho osikweletayo. Abantu abadala abanqabi usizo lwangaphandle, kodwa bayaqonda ngokugcwele ukuthi lolu sizo luyisinqumo sabanye, hhayi umsebenzi wabo.

3. UKULUNGA

Ukuzalwa kwezingane ngenxa yomthwalo wemfanelo, ngaphansi kwejoka “elifika kwabangama-30 ngamunye ubophekile ukuba abelethe” akusona isisusa esingcono kakhulu. Ukungazifuni izingane isikhathi esithile noma ngokuvamile phakathi nokuphila kuyinto evamile! Ukungafinyeleli okulindelwe umlingani, abathandekayo nezihlobo kubonakala kusabisa kwabaningi. Kodwa noma kunjalo, kubalulekile ukwenza ukukhetha okucacile: phila ngaphandle kokuzikhaphela, noma uphilele abanye abantu.

4. UKWESABA

• “Ngeke ngibe khona usizo — angikwazi ukumelana nakho”;
• “Ngizosabeka, ngizoba isimungulu eholidini lokuyoteta”;
• "Angikwazi ukubekezelela";
• "Ayikho into engingakhula kuyo - angikwazi ukuyibeka ezinyaweni zami."

Kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuthi ukwesaba kubangane bethu. Njengokubusa kokukhathazeka, ziyasivikela, zisilondoloze. Futhi okubaluleke kakhulu, singakwazi ukufunda ukuphatha. Yilokhu okungaphansi kolawulo lwethu.

5. UKUNGABAZA EMHLABENI

• Ngokwesibonelo, ukhetha ukuba nendoda ngaphandle komkhuba, ngaphandle kwemizwa;
• Ingabe unokungabaza ngokunemba kokukhetha, uyazibuza: "Ingabe ngiqinisekile ukuthi ngifuna izingane kule ndoda?";
• Ingabe uyesaba ukulahlekelwa umlingani wakho ngenxa yokukhulelwa?
• Kunokwesaba ukuthi uzakwethu ngeke akwazi ukunikeza ukuvikelwa (okuhlanganisa nezezimali).

Kulabo abanokucabanga okungokomzwelo okuthuthuke kahle, nginikeza ukuzivocavoca okulula kodwa okuphumelelayo - zama ukuzibona ngeso lomlingani. Uzizwe njengaye imizuzu embalwa uzibheke, uzwe ukuthi kunjani ukuba seduze kwakho. Ngokunokwenzeka, uzoqinisekisa ukuthi le ndoda iyajabula ukuba ngokhethiweyo wakho - emva kwakho konke, ngandlela-thile, yena ngokwakhe unquma ukuhlala eseduze.

Kuyafaneleka futhi ukuphendula ngokwethembeka kuwe imibuzo mayelana nokuthi kungani wesaba ukuthi impilo nomlingani ngeke iphumelele ngemva kokubeletha.

6. UKUZIJEZISA

Njengomthetho, kuwumphumela wemizwa yokuhlazeka nomuzwa wecala ngalokho okwenziwe noma okungenziwanga. Owesifazane ozishaya isifuba uhlale ekhuluma yedwa ekhanda lakhe: “Angikufanele ukuba ngumama, ngingumuntu omubi”; "Angifanele ukuba umuntu ojabulayo."

7. UKUHLUKUMEZEKA KOBUDLOVA

Uma ubhekene nobuhlungu nokucindezeleka, umzimba ungakwazi "ukukhumbula" lokhu kwesaba isikhathi eside. Lapho kunokungezwani, ukubusa kokukhathazeka kuvuleka ngokuzenzakalelayo — ayikho indawo yokuphumula. Ngakho-ke, uma kufanele ubekezelele udlame, indlela engcono kakhulu yokuphuma kungaba ukuxhumana nodokotela wokusebenza kwengqondo.

Sengiphetha, ngifuna ukunakwa ukuthi isifiso se-manic sokukhulelwa singadala konke ukungezwani okufanayo okugcina kuvimbe ukuqala kwayo.

Njengoba u-Ukhtomsky eshilo, enye yezindlela ezingenzeka zokuphuma ngaphansi kwethonya lomunye wababusi ukuvela okusha, ukunwetshwa kombono, ukucinga izinto ezintsha zokuzilibazisa. Kalula nje, udinga ukususa ukugxila ekukhulelweni uye ku ... ngokwakho.

Kuyasiza futhi ukubheka impilo yakho ngaphandle futhi uqonde ukuthi yini ngempela eqhuba imicabango yethu, izinqumo, izenzo - ukutadisha ukukhathazeka kwakho okubusa futhi kancane kancane wehlise izinga lemizwa.

Thatha ukungenzeki kwesikhashana kokukhulelwa njengesifundo sempilo, hhayi isijeziso. Isifundo oqinisekile ukuthi uyasiqaphela, udlule kuso futhi uthole ithuba lokuba ngumama.