Okuqukethwe
Igama elibi - ukuvukela umbuso! Ngokushesha noma kamuva, "kuzwakala" empilweni ye-25% yemibhangqwana eyayibhekwa njengeqinile. Futhi abacwaningi bakholelwa ukuthi lesi silinganiso cishe singabukelwa phansi kakhulu. Kodwa ukukhaphela kuhlukile. Ngenxa yokuziphindiselela, ukungathembeki okulandelanayo, nabanye "abakhileyo" bezwe lokuphinga - ingabe zonke azinakuthethelelwa ngokulinganayo?
Ngokuvamile abathandi abazi mayelana nokuzidela kwesigamu sesibili, ngezinye izikhathi bayaqaphela imidlalo ngemuva kwemihlane yabo, ngezinye izikhathi bayangabaza ukuthi bakholelwa yini izindlebe zabo, amehlo kanye ne-intuition. Kodwa lapho sithola ubufakazi obuqinile bokungathembeki, kufanele sizibuze, “Ingabe ngingamthethelela umuntu ongikhaphele? Futhi kufanele ngenzenjani manje, lapho kubuhlungu ngendlela engabekezeleleki ngaphakathi futhi wonke amathemba eshabalala?
Ngaphambi kokuthi unqume noma yini, kufanele uqonde ukuthi hlobo luni lokungathembeki obhekene nalo. UKarin noRobert Sternberg, izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo zaseCornell University (USA), banesiqinisekiso sokuthi ukukopela kuhlukile. Futhi uyohlala unesikhathi sokuhlakazeka - ikakhulukazi uma kwakukhona zonke izizathu zalokhu.
Ama-serial cheaters
Umuntu onjalo uhlale ebhekile, uhlale efuna i-adventure. Emihlanganweni ehhovisi, ohambweni lwebhizinisi, endaweni yokucima ukoma nabangane, ngisho nasendleleni eya esitolo - uzothola indlela yokuguqula inqubo ngendaba encane (noma ngisho nezingxabano).
Kwesinye isikhathi kubonakala sengathi abakhohlisi be-serial bangabaqoqi. Kuphela abaqoqi izitembu nezinhlamvu zemali, kodwa izinhliziyo. Ungabasongela ngesehlukaniso, ubajezise nganoma iyiphi indlela, wenze amahlazo omphakathi - ngeshwa, lokhu akunakwenzeka ukuholela kunoma yini. Kunzima kakhulu kubantu abanjalo ukushintsha indlela yabo yokuziphatha. Kunezindlela ezimbili zokuphuma: ukujwayela ukuthi akuwena wedwa kuye, noma ukuqeda ubuhlobo.
Ukuthola “uchwepheshe” onjalo akulula, kodwa kusenezimpawu zokuthi uholwa ngamakhala. Okokuqala, abakhwabanisi bama-serial bagcina impendulo ilungele noma imiphi imibuzo yakho enobuqili. Kuphela ngezikhathi ezithile bayadideka ebufakazini, futhi izolo le mpendulo yayinye ("Ngahamba nenja kamama!"), Futhi namuhla kuhluke ngokuphelele ("Ngaphakela ikati likamakhelwane wethu!").
Futhi, abantu abanjalo bashintsha kakhulu uma umfokazi okhangayo ebonakala enkampanini: bazama ukuheha ukunaka, ukukhombisa ubugagu nobugagu. Futhi ngokuvamile bafika sekwephuzile emsebenzini. Ukuthi nje umphathi ulokhu ejikijela imibiko lapho wonke umuntu esezogoduka.
Ngokuvamile kwenzeka ukuthi wonke umuntu oseduze uyazi ukuthi umlingani wakho uhamba kwesokunxele, futhi nguwe kuphela ongalali noma umoya. Uma ungabaza, buza mayelana nezinsolo zakho kozakwabo noma abantu obajwayele: mhlawumbe ulwazi olusha luzovula amehlo akho.
One night stand abathandi
Abakhohlisi abanjalo abathambekele ebuhlotsheni besikhathi eside ohlangothini, kodwa bayokujabulela ukuthatha ithuba lokulala nomuntu otholakalayo. Ubani abahlangana naye emcimbini, noma baphuze kakhulu ephathini yezinkampani.
Laba bantu ababheki ukuzidela ngokukhethekile. Kodwa lapho benikezwa ithuba lokushintsha, abaphikisi ngempela futhi basheshe bayeke ngaphansi kwengcindezi “yomhlaseli”. Abalingani abanjalo abashintshayo akulula ukubamba "okushisayo". Kodwa akufanele neze ulindele ukwethembeka kwaphakade kubo.
Igazi ngegazi
Kuyenzeka futhi ukuthi ukuvukela umbuso kube yisikhali sangempela sokuziphindiselela. Kulesi simo, akunandaba ukuthi lowo ongathembeki unemizwa okwesithathu: ikakhulukazi uqhutshwa intukuthelo kumlingani wakhe. Ngokuqonda kwakhe, isimiso esithi “iso ngeso, izinyo ngezinyo” siyiqiniso ngempela ebuhlotsheni bothando.
Umgomo wabantu abaziphindiselela kuma-halves abo ngosizo lokungathembeki ukunikeza isilinganiso (ekuqondeni kwabo, yebo!) Ukusabela ezenzweni zalezo zingxenye.
Ngakho-ke bangakwazi “ukubuyisela” kule noveli, kodwa noma isiphi esinye isono siyobaqhubezela ekuphingeni. Okuxakayo, kodwa akukhona nje ngomonakalo othile wangempela: kwesinye isikhathi ozakwethu bayaziphindiselela ngezikhalazo eziqanjiwe. Noma bavele bakwenze ngoba, ngokombono wabo, “bafaneleka kangcono”.
Ngokujulile futhi isikhathi eside
Abanye banothando oluthatha izinyanga noma iminyaka. Yiqiniso, bathola okuthile kulobu buhlobo - futhi noma ngabe kuyini, ngesizathu esithile bayaqiniseka ukuthi wena, umlingani wabo, ngeke ukwazi ukubanika.
Kungani labo “abanomndeni oyisipele” eceleni isikhathi eside bengahambi? Kunezizathu eziningi. Lena ingozi yokukhokha i-alimony enkulu, nezinkolelo zenkolo (okuyinto, nokho, engabavimbeli ekushintsheni). Abantu abaningi bacabanga ukuthi uma kwenzeka behlukana, “bazolahlekelwa” izingane zabo.
Abanye babo bayaqiniseka ukuthi bangakwazi ukuthanda abantu ababili ngesikhathi esisodwa. Omunye akakholelwa ukuthi ubuhlobo obuseceleni ngokuvamile bubeka uhlobo oluthile losongo ebuhlotsheni obuyinhloko. Indaba isekutheni singabambisene nabo singavumelani nalokhu.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, abaningi bayazuza “ngokungazi” ukuthi abalingani babo baphila ukuphila okumbaxa-mbili. Uma ungazimisele ukubeka engozini ilungelo, ungahlala nalolu hlobo lozakwethu okhohlisayo isikhathi eside kakhulu.
Izisulu zesimo
Ngeshwa, ngezinye izikhathi abalingani bethu baba yizisulu zodlame noma isimo sengqondo esingenangqondo selungu lesithathu likanxantathu. Kwenzeka ukuthi bona, nazo zonke izifiso zabo, abakwazi ukwenqaba ucansi. Mhlawumbe bethuswa okuthile, abanawo amandla okuphikisa. Uma bengavumanga ngokuzithandela ukuya ocansini, badinga ukusekelwa, hhayi ukulahlwa.
ukungathembeki ngokomzwelo
Kodwa ukuvukela umbuso akunqunywa ngocansi kuphela. Kuyenzeka ukuthi ophathina bethu bangahlangani nomunye umuntu nhlobo, bancamele ukuhlala kude. Imizwa ingagqashuka ngokushesha futhi iphele ngokushesha - noma ingashunqa iminyaka, isekele umlilo wokukhaphela ngokomzwelo.
Lowo obambe imicabango namaphupho othandiweyo wakhe kancane kancane ukuphusha ekusaseni lakhe. Kuvele ukuthi uma umaqondana eseduze kwakho, empeleni, akasondele nhlobo. Futhi ngisho noma uthando luqhubeka ku-inthanethi, ezingosini zezingxoxo noma emdlalweni we-inthanethi, ngaphandle kokugeleza eqinisweni, lungabangela ubuhlungu bangempela.
Yiqiniso, ngeke sikwazi ukuyilawula ngokuphelele imizwa, imicabango nezenzo zomunye. Kodwa ungasho okungenani ekuqaleni kobudlelwane ukuthi yini ngempela oyicabangayo ukukopela. Kungenzeka yini ukuthi owakwakho axoxe nozakwenu? Ungakwazi yini ukushayela umngane ekhaya ngemva komhlangano? Uzokwenzenjani uma uzizwa uthanda omunye umuntu ngokweqile?
Ngokushesha noma kamuva, cishe wonke umuntu osebudlelwaneni besikhathi eside uthola ithuba lokushintsha. Futhi ukukusebenzisa noma cha kuwukuzikhethela komuntu wonke.