Izindlela Ezingu-13 Zokusiza Isisulu Sobudlova Basekhaya

U-Elena ungudokotela ophumelelayo, ohlonishwayo onedumela elihle kakhulu. Iziguli zinozwelo, ziyamthanda nje. Kodwa, naphezu kwazo zonke izimpumelelo, unemfihlo eyihlazo - ngaphansi kwezingubo zakhe ufihla imihuzuko ekushayweni. Ngemva nje komshado, umyeni wakhe waqala ukumshaya. Wayehlukunyezwa ihlazo elibi, futhi wayengaqondi ukuthi angasuka kanjani kuye, ngakho wahlala naye. Umyeni wakhe wayengudokotela ehlonishwa ngendlela efanayo edolobheni, futhi akekho noyedwa kubantu bangaphandle owayazi ngokuxhashazwa kwakhe umkakhe. Wayesaba ukuthi uma engakhuluma ngakho, akekho owayezomkholwa.

U-Alexander wayevame ukuhlala emsebenzini ukuze angabuyi ekhaya isikhathi eside. Wayevele azi ukuthi uma eke walala umkakhe uzodakwa alale, aphinde agweme elinye ihlazo lokudakwa okungenzeka ligcine ngokushaywa. Ukuze ngandlela-thile achaze imihuzuko emzimbeni wakhe, waqala ukuhlanganyela ubuciko bokulwa - manje wayengasho ukuthi washaywa ekuqeqesheni. Wacabanga ngesehlukaniso, kodwa umkakhe wamkhohlisa, wasongela ukuzibulala.

Akekho u-Elena noma u-Alexander abayizisulu zodlame lwasekhaya. Futhi yingakho inkinga iye yazuza izilinganiso ezinjalo ezinsukwini zethu. Izisulu eziningi zihlushwa umuzwa wehlazo oqinile kangangokuthi ziyangabaza ukuqeda ubuhlobo. Ngokuvamile bakholelwa ukuthi ukuziphatha komlingani wabo kuzoshintsha kube ngcono ngokuhamba kwesikhathi - vele ulinde. Ngakho balinda - izinyanga, iminyaka. Into enzima kakhulu kubo umuzwa wesizungu - akekho oqondayo futhi omesekayo. Ngokuphambene nalokho, bavame ukulahlwa futhi baphathwe ngokudelelwa, okuqinisa umuzwa wokuzihlukanisa.

Uma othile emphakathini wakho ebhekene nodlame lwasekhaya, nansi indlela ongasiza ngayo:

1. Hlala uxhumekile

Iningi lethu alizithandi izingcingo ngemva kuka-10 ebusuku. Ngeshwa, ubudlova basekhaya abulandeli isimiso esisilungele. Uma isisulu sazi ukuthi angakwazi njalo ukuxhumana nawe - amahora angu-24 ngosuku, izinsuku ezingu-7 ngesonto - uba uhlobo «ukuphila» kuye.

2. Qaphela

Izisulu eziningi zihlala enkungwini. Bahlala "bayakhohlwa" ngamacala odlame nokuhlukumeza futhi bakhumbula kuphela izici ezinhle zobudlelwano. Lena indlela yokuzivikela yemvelo ye-psyche. Umngane othembekile uzokusiza njalo ukhumbule okwenzeka ngempela, kodwa ngesikhathi esifanayo ngeke akukhumbuze lesi sisulu kaningi, ukuze ungamhlukumezi nakakhulu.

3. Ungahluleli

Ngisho nabantu abahlakaniphe kakhulu, abanethalente, abahle, nabathanda ukuvelela bangawela ogibeni lobudlelwano obungasebenzi kahle. Lokhu akulona uphawu lobuthakathaka. Omashiqela basekhaya ngokuvamile baziphatha ngobuqili, beshintshana ngobudlova ngokusekela nokudumisa, okumdida ngokuphelele isisulu.

4. Ungabuzi ukuthi kungani

Uma isisulu «sicwilisiwe» ebudlelwaneni obungasebenzi kahle, lesi akusona isikhathi sokuzindla nokubheka izizathu zalokho okwenzekile. Kumelwe agxile ngokuphelele ekutholeni indlela yokuphuma kulesi simo.

5. Vumelana kakhulu ngangokunokwenzeka

Into yokugcina edingwa isisulu sobudlova basekhaya izingxabano ezingadingekile kanye nezinqubo zangaphandle komndeni. Yiqiniso, akufanele neze uvumele ubudlova bokuziphindiselela nokuhlukunyezwa, kodwa kukho konke okunye kungcono ukuvumelana nomuntu ofuna ukusekelwa kwakho kaningi ngangokunokwenzeka. Lokhu kuzomnikeza umuzwa okungenani wokuzinza okuthile.

6. Usizo oluyimfihlo oluvela kumlingani

Isibonelo, nikeza ukuvula i-akhawunti yasebhange ehlangene ukuze isisulu singanciki kangako kumlingani ngokwezimali (abantu abaningi bayesaba ukuhamba ngenxa yalesi sizathu). Noma usize ukuthola isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo esiqeqeshiwe.

7. Gcina ukuzethemba

Abahlukumezi basekhaya ngokwezwi nezwi "babhubhisa" izisulu zabo, futhi ngakusasa bazigeza ngokuncoma, kodwa ngokushesha ukuhlukunyezwa (ngokomzimba noma ngokomzwelo) kuyaphindwa futhi. Leli qhinga limdida ngempumelelo isisulu, esingasaqondi ukuthi kwenzekani. Ikhambi elingcono kakhulu ukukhuthaza isisulu njalo, uzama ukubuyisela ukuzethemba kwakhe.

I-8. Iba nesineke

Ngokuvamile izisulu ziyamshiya umhlukumezi wazo, kodwa ngokushesha zibuye futhi, zihambe futhi, futhi lokhu kuphindaphindwa izikhathi eziningi. Ngezikhathi ezinjalo, kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba nesineke ngenkathi ubonisa uthando nokusekelwa okungenamibandela.

9. Yenza uhlelo oluyimfihlo

Kubalulekile ukusiza isisulu sobudlova basekhaya ukuthola indlela yokuphuma. Uma kwenzeka "ukukhishwa okuphuthumayo", lungiselela isikhwama somngane wakho noma othandekayo esinezingubo nezinto ezibalulekile. Msize anqume kusenesikhathi ngendawo ephephile azohlala kuyo okokuqala ngqa.

10. Zimisele ukulalela

Izisulu ngokuvamile zizizwa zihlukanisiwe, zesaba ukwahlulelwa abanye. Bazizwa njengezinyoni ezisekhejini - emehlweni obala, ayikho indlela yokucasha noma yokuphunyuka. Yebo, kungase kube nzima ukubalalela ngaphandle kokwahlulela, kodwa yilokho abakudinga kakhulu.

11. Yazi umthetho

Thola ukuthi usifaka nini isikhalazo kwabomthetho. Tshela isisulu sodlame lwasekhaya lokhu.

12. Nikeza indawo yokukhosela

Kubalulekile ukuthola indawo lapho umhlukumezi engakwazi ukuthola isisulu sakhe. Angase akhosele ezihlotsheni ezikude noma abangane, endaweni yokukhosela yabasinde odlameni, ehhotela noma endlini eqashiwe.

13. Usizo lokuphunyuka

Uma isisulu sinquma ukubalekela umashiqela wasekhaya, ngeke adinge imali kuphela, kodwa futhi nokusekelwa kokuziphatha. Ngokuvamile izisulu zibuyela kubahlukumezi ngenxa nje yokuthi zingenaye omunye umuntu ezingaphendukela kuye ukuze zicele usizo.

Ngeshwa, izisulu zobudlova basekhaya ngokuvamile zibekezelela ukuhlukunyezwa iminyaka eminingana ngaphambi kokuba zihambe ekugcineni. Ngosizo lwabangane beqiniso kanye ne-psychotherapist, bobabili u-Elena no-Alexander bakwazi ukunqamula ubuhlobo obungasebenzi kahle futhi babuyisele impilo yabo yengqondo. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ukuphila kwabo kwaba ngcono ngokuphelele, futhi bobabili bazithola bengabalingani abasha, abanothando.

Mayelana Nombhali: U-Kristin Hammond uyisazi sokusebenza kwengqondo esilulekayo, uchwepheshe wokuxazulula izingxabano, kanye nomlobi we-Exhausted Woman's Handbook, Xulon Press, 2014.