I-Psychology

Imibhangqwana eminingi izama ukuhlala ingabangane ngemva kokuhlukana. Ukuthi kungenzeka yini ukulondoloza ubuhlobo bobungani kuxhomeke kakhulu ekutheni siqondiswa yiziphi izisusa. Nazi izizathu zokuthi kungani ingeke isebenze.

Ucwaningo lukhombisa ukuthi abathandanayo babi kakhulu ekwenzeni abangani kunabangani abangakaze babe nobudlelwano bocansi. Ukuzama ukwakha ubuhlobo ngesisekelo esisha se-platonic, bathembana kancane futhi bafisa ukuthola injabulo yabo. Lezi zisusa eziyishumi zobungane nomuntu wangaphambili zingase ziholele ekudumazekeni kokubili.

1. Unabangane abafanayo

Uma umndeni wakho nabangane befuna ukuthi uhlale ngemibandela enobungane ngenxa yabo, ngaleyo ndlela ubavumela ukuba bagweme ukukhetha ukuthi ubani ozommema ephathini yabo yokuzalwa, maningi amathuba okuba uhambe nabo. Impela, lesi yisinyathelo esihle, esigcina ukubonakala kokuvumelana okuvamile, kodwa uma lokhu kuyisizathu kuphela, akwanele.

Unelungelo lokwenqaba noma yiziphi izimemo uma ungafuni ukubona i-ex yakho.

Futhi ngisho noma usukulungele ukuwela izindlela ngezikhathi ezithile, lokhu akusho ukuthi kufanele niqhubeke ningabangane. Kungase kube nzima ekuqaleni ukuhlangana ephathini njengomuntu ojwayele ukujwayelana naye, usenomuzwa wokuthi uyingxenye ebalulekile yesikhathi sakho esidlule. Kodwa-ke, isikhathi senza umsebenzi waso, futhi umlando wakho ovamile uzoncibilika kancane kancane ube imicimbi nemihlangano emisha.

2. Uzizwa unecala

Uma ukuhlukana kwenzeke ngesinyathelo sakho futhi umlingani wangaphambili ukhathazekile futhi uphikelela ebuhlotsheni obunobungane, khona-ke awufuni ukumzwisa ubuhlungu nakakhulu ngokwenqaba. Nokho, imizamo yokupholisa amanxeba ngokuba khona kwawo ingabangela ukuhlukumezeka okwengeziwe. Lokhu ngeke kusisize kwesokunxele ukuthola amandla okuqhubekela phambili.

Uma ngesizathu esithile uzizwa unecala, thola ithuba lokuxoxa ngakho futhi uxolise. Kodwa-ke, ungaphenduki ube ivesti yaphakade, manje ebophekile ukududuza nokusekela.

3. Uzizwa unesizungu

Ukuhlukana kuvame ukusishiya sizizwe sinesikhala sangaphakathi, kuthatha isikhathi ukusivala. Uma sizizwa sinesizungu ngobusuku bangoMgqibelo, khona-ke ukumema owayenguzakwethu esimazi kahle kakhulu endaweni yethu ukuze sidle isidlo sakusihlwa futhi sibukele ifilimu ndawonye kubonakala kuwumbono okhanga kakhulu kunokuphuma ukuyohlangana nezinto ezintsha esibaziyo kanye nalabo esibajwayele.

Kodwa-ke, lokhu kungaholela ekuqaliseni kabusha okungapheli kobudlelwano obuhlala isikhathi esifushane bese buhlukana futhi.

Ingozi yokuwela kulo mbuthano ononya okwenza uzizwe unesizungu nakakhulu futhi ungavikelekile ngenxa yalokho ayikufanele ukunethezeka kwesikhashana kobusuku obubodwa.

4. Ufuna ukuqaphela ukuphila kwakhe siqu

Kungase kukuzwise ubuhlungu ukucabanga ukuthi i-ex yakho izothola injabulo nomunye umuntu. Ngokuhlala ngemibandela yobungane, uzishiyela ithuba lokulandela ukuthi impilo yakhe ithuthuka kanjani. Nokho, ukuba umuntu oyisifuba ngeke kukuzuzise wena noma lowo owayeshade naye.

Ucwaningo lweMen's Health kubantu abangu-3000 luthole ukuthi u-85% uhlola njalo ikhasi labo lakudala, u-17% bakwenza lokho kanye ngesonto. Ukugada okunjalo kwandisa imizwa yomona nokukhathazeka. Uma ukuthola kunzima ukumelana nesilingo sokusondelana, kungcono kakhulu "ukungabi nobungane" komunye nomunye. Kokubili endaweni ebonakalayo nasempilweni yangempela.

5. Wenza ubudlelwano obudlule.

Uma sinobuhlobo obusha, kodwa abasanelisi, sivame ukuqala ukukhumbula izinkumbulo ze-nostalgic yenyunyana yangaphambili. Kulula kakhulu ukuqala ukuthandana nomuntu owake wathandana naye — phela, kusukela manje kuqhubeke lo muntu ukude, futhi asiboni ukuthi sake sahlukana ngani. Lolu gibe olungokwengqondo lwandisa nje ukunganeliseki ngalokho esinakho okwamanje.

6. Uthemba ukuthi i-ex yakho izoshintsha.

Mhlawumbe nahlukana ngoba owake wajola noma ephuze utshwala, kodwa ucabanga ukuthi ngokulahlekelwa nguwe uzofunda kulokho okwenzekile. Ukuhlala ungabangane kukugcina uxhumekile futhi unethemba lokuthi ungaba nethonya elihle kuye.

Kwezinye izimo, lapho ukuhlukana kuyisinyathelo sakho futhi umlingani engakufuni, ithemba lokuvuselela ubuhlobo lingakhuthaza.

Nokho, uma lowo owayeshade naye enomuzwa wokuthi kulula kakhulu ukukunqoba, angalingisa ukuzimisela ukushintsha. Ubungane obunjalo buyomane bubangele ukudumazeka okwengeziwe.

7. Ubona i-ex yakho njenge-fallback.

Ngokuvamile, singafuni ukuvuma kithi ngokukhululekile, sihlale ebudlelwaneni ngethemba lokuthi uma singamtholi ongcono, singabuyela kumlingani wethu wangaphambili. Akudingekile ukusho ukuthi le ndlela ayithembekile. Futhi ukuze uvule umnyango omusha empilweni yakho, kubalulekile ukuvala omdala.

8. I-ex yakho ayikushiyi ukuzikhethela.

Awufuni ukuhlala ungabangane, kodwa u-ex wakho uyaqhubeka nokukucupha, futhi ukuthola kulula ukulondoloza ukubukeka kobudlelwane kunokuba ubambe ukuhlaselwa. Unalo lonke ilungelo lokuphazamisa bonke ubuhlobo, kodwa kulokhu, qina - olunye uhlangothi kufanele luqonde ukuthi ngeke uvumele ukukhwabanisa ukuze uxhumane namaphoyisa.

9. Usakuthanda

Kulokhu, ukuchitha isikhathi ndawonye kungaba mnandi kithi - sonke sifuna ukuzizwa sithandwa. Nokho, lokhu kunikeza elinye iqembu ithemba elingamanga. Ngisho noma kubonakala kuwe ukuthi uye wachaza ngobuqotho ukuthi ufuna ukuhlala ungabangane, umuntu onothando uzoqhubeka enethemba. Uma ungaphindiseli, cishe into engcono kakhulu ongamenzela yona iwukuba uzikhiphe empilweni yakhe.

10. Uyamthanda

Ukuba sothandweni kuyilapho unethemba lokubuyelana ngokuyimfihlo kungenye yezisusa eziqine kakhulu zokuhlala abangani. Futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo omunye eziyingozi kakhulu.

Uma umuntu enquma ukushiya ubuhlobo nawe, khona-ke, ngokusobala, wayenesizathu esihle salokhu.

Ukuzama ukuvuselela inyunyana yothando, uzibangela ubuhlungu obengeziwe. Zama ukuchitha isikhathi esiningi nabangane obathandayo futhi obalulekile kubo. I-ex yakho akuyona enye yazo.

Kungenzeka yini ukuthi sihlale singabangane?

Impela. Uma kungekho kinina onezisusa ezichazwe ngenhla, futhi ubungane benu abuthinti ubudlelwano obusha bezothando nganoma iyiphi indlela. Isimo lapho ukhululeke ngokulinganayo enkampanini yabo bobabili isithandwa esisha kanye ne-ex, futhi nabo abazizwa bengezwani ngasikhathi sinye, kuyinkomba enhle yokuthi ungahlala ungabangane.

Izisusa zangaphakathi zobungane kwesinye isikhathi zingafihlwa kithi - ingqondo yethu ifihla izinhloso zangempela, izethule njengabamsulwa kakhulu. Ngakho-ke, lapho unquma ukuthi uzoba umngane nomuntu oshade naye noma cha, zama ukwethembeka kuwe ngokwakho.

shiya impendulo