Okuqukethwe
Balwela ukuba yisizinda sokunakwa. Yehlisa isithunzi imiphumela yabanye, utuse eyabo. Bagcizelela amaphutha abanye abantu ukuze babukeke begqamile uma beqhathaniswa nesizinda sabo. Yimaphi amanye amaqhinga avamile omdayisi okhohlisayo okufanele akwazi, kusho isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uChristine Hammond.
Ngamunye wethu okungenani wake wahlangabezana nalolu hlobo endaweni yethu. Ungabona kanjani i-narcissist futhi ungabi yisisulu sokukhohlisa kwakhe? Khumbula imithetho eyisisekelo yokuziphatha.
1.
"Okwakho" inguqulo yempumelelo yomunye umuntu
Iqhinga lakudala le-narcissist "ukuqedela" kanye "nokulungisa" indaba yezimpumelelo zabanye abantu. Angazifihla ngezinhloso ezinhle, aqinisekise ukuthi uyakwazisa ukudlala kahle. Kodwa empeleni, lokhu kuqondanisa kunenzuzo kuye: ngale ndlela ngesikhathi esifanayo uhlazisa umphikisi futhi azibonise ukuthi ungumlweli weqiniso.
- U-Ivan Ivanovich wavikela i-thesis yakhe yobudokotela eneminyaka engu-30!
- Yebo-ke, ngoba izisebenzi zonke zabafundi nabasizi baselabhorethri bamsebenzela.
Ngibone umfundi ofunda naye kumabonakude. Uphatha uhlelo ngesikhathi sokuqala.
— Washaya ihlombe phambi komdidiyeli — bamthatha. Ingabe bekufanelekile ukuphothula esikoleni sezokwelapha?
2.
Ifayela lephutha
Ama-Narcissists aqoqa ulwazi mayelana nozakwabo, izimbangi, abaholi, ukuze balusebenzise ngesikhathi esifanele. Bangasebenzisa ubuhle babo, benze sengathi bangabangane ukuze bakuphonsele inselelo ngokungagwegwesi. Uma sebeyazi ukuthi yini abangayisebenzisa kuwe, ngeke bahluleke ukusebenzisa ulwazi ukuze bakugwebe. I-narcissist izokwenza ngezikhathi ezithile - ngokuvamile ngendlela engenalo udlame, njengokungathi idlala - ikukhumbuza "imfihlo encane" yakho ukuze ibe namandla phezu kwakho.
"Kunoma ibuphi ubuhlobo, i-narcissist ifuna ukubusa"
3.
Ukuphelela okucatshangwayo
Abantu abaphelele abekho. Yiqiniso, kukhona njalo okuhlukile ku-narcissist: ngokwakhe. Ekutholeni amaphutha abanye abantu, narcissists abanakulingana. Ngobuchule nangokwengeziwe bakwazi ukufihla isithakazelo somuntu siqu kulokhu. Uma umgadli esolwa ngokukhetha kakhulu, uzomamatheka kakhulu futhi athi, “Hhawu, ihlaya leli. Awusakwazi nokuncokola. Athini amahlaya akho, mngani?"
4.
Ukuthola umenzi wecala
Uma kukhona okungahambi kahle, i-narcissist ihlale ithola umuntu ozoba «extreme». Ulwazi oluhle lwe-psychology luyamsiza ukuba akhethe kule ndima umuntu ongeke aphikise futhi azivikele. Akuvamile ukuthi i-narcissist ikhethe kusengaphambili njengomlingani umuntu ongasolwa uma kwenzeka ukwehluleka noma ukuvezwa kwamaqhinga akhe.
5.
Inkulumo yengane
Kunoma ibuphi ubuhlobo, i-narcissist ifuna ukubusa. Enye indlela iwukukholisa umlingani ngokungavuthwa kwakhe nokuziphatha kobungane. I-narcissist ihumusha noma yisiphi isimo kumongo wobudlelwane Obudala Nengane. Engxoxweni, uvame ukusebenzisa i-lips ekhombisayo, ukunakekela okuzenzisayo kanye nesihawu. “Awu, kungani uthukuthele, njengomncane? Oh, ngabe ngikonile? Hhayi-ke, ungakhali. Ufuna ngikuthengele uswidi?”
6.
Xhumanisa nenkolo
I-narcissist yazi kahle ukuthi izinkolelo nezinkolelo ziyizici ezinamandla zokucindezela kwabanye abantu. Unembeza awusivumeli ukuba sibekezelele ngomoya ophansi ukuphikisana phakathi kwezimiso zethu nezenzo eziphambukayo kuzo. Ngisho noma ukuchezuka kukuncane kakhulu, i-narcissist izozama ukukufuthela, ukuyiphakamisa ngokuphelele. Ngokwesibonelo, uvame ukusebenzisa imishwana: “Ungathenjwa kanjani uma uhlala uzenzisa?”; “Bhekani niyangilahla, kepha lo akusiye umKristu”; “Ayikho into etheni leyo? Yile ndlela yokuziphatha ewohloka ngayo emphakathini wethu.”
"Isu eliyintandokazi le-narcissist ukucasula lowo okhuluma naye, bese emthuka ngokushisa kakhulu."
7.
"UJupiter uthukuthele, ngakho unephutha"
Iqhinga eliyintandokazi le-narcissist ukucasula lowo oxoxa naye, bese emthuka ngokushisa kakhulu. Okokuqala, ukusabela okubuhlungu ngokomzwelo kuphambene kahle nenhlonipho ebandayo ye-narcissist ngokwakhe. Okwesibili, i-narcissist ithola ithuba lokuhumusha lokhu kusabela ngokuvumelana nabo: “Ashila! Uyathukuthela. Ngakho akukho ntuthu ngaphandle komlilo.
8.
Ukwehliswa okucatshangelwayo
Ngokungafani nenkulumo yengane, lapha u-interlocutor uzama ngazo zonke izindlela ukukhombisa ukuthi ungaphezu kwakho, uyasiqonda isimo kangcono, futhi angachaza ukusabela kwakho nesisusa sakho. Usebenzisa amagama “ahlakaniphile” (ngokuvamile okuyizisho zesiLatini, izisho ezingavamile), izimpawu ezicacile (uhlahle amehlo, ahlikize), ebukana ngokuphawulekayo nalabo abamzungezile. Ukudlalela umphakathi kwenza isimo sibe nenzuzo nakakhulu ku-narcissist: ukukhanga kwakhe akuvumeli abanye ukuba babone i-demagogue.
9.
Ukuqhathanisa nenhle
Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi wenzeni nokuthi ungakanani umzamo owenziwe, wakwenza kabili ngokushesha nangcono kunawe. I-narcissist isebenzisa ukuphakama kwayo ukuze inciphise imiphumela yakho. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, ngokuvamile ayizinaki imininingwane engabaluleka.
10.
Ukukhohlisa kombono
Amasudi akhe ahlala elingana kahle. Akukho nolulodwa unwele olukhishwa ezinweleni. Umabhebhana akabukeki kanje ngoba ethanda ukuba musha. Kuyindlela futhi yokwehlisa abanye ukubaluleka. Lawa mazwana cishe ajwayelekile kuwe: «Zibheke nje — ingabe kunzima kakhulu»; "Ungamthatha kanjani ngokungathi sína umuntu obukeka njenge-bum."
Ukuze uthole olunye ulwazi, UMfazi Ophelelwe Amandla.